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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

41, possibly pregnant, scared

112 replies

40andprettybored · 21/01/2024 13:45

I thought I was going through peri menopause or menopause but I'm 11 days late and I feel pregnant. Very sore breasts. Absolutely knackered. Feel sick.

I have 2 kids who are nearly secondary school age. Im scared about :

Peoples reactions - family, work
Work
My age
Miscarrying

Basically everything. Husband has gone to get a test. I can't say anything to anyone so I'm putting it here hoping for reassurance and support. Brew

OP posts:
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Bunnybear42 · 23/01/2024 21:18

Congratulations OP!!
I had my second 'surprise' baby at 41 and felt much the same initial concerns as you.
My dd is 2 now and I still can't believe how lucky I am. My only other child -dd was 15 so a big gap.
There are definitely extra checks and it's nerve racking but reassuring at the same time I had a few scan issues but in fact all ok. Pregnancy was pretty easy and c section no worse than with my first. I think she had made me feel younger and I've got fitter and healthier because of her! It's so lovely to have a baby again once your children are teenagers I missed the snuggles and dependency.
Wishing you a healthy pregnancy/ good luck.x

KissyMissy · 23/01/2024 21:31

Congratulations! I love these threads x

AnxiousD · 13/02/2024 22:13

40andprettybored · 21/01/2024 13:45

I thought I was going through peri menopause or menopause but I'm 11 days late and I feel pregnant. Very sore breasts. Absolutely knackered. Feel sick.

I have 2 kids who are nearly secondary school age. Im scared about :

Peoples reactions - family, work
Work
My age
Miscarrying

Basically everything. Husband has gone to get a test. I can't say anything to anyone so I'm putting it here hoping for reassurance and support. Brew

Hi. Same situation as you, found out last week I was pregnant and 41 years old. I was due to have bloods that day for hormone levels as I am going through the perimenopause! Huge shock and I am still feeling confused about it all. I'm 4wks and hoping I can keep the secret from family and friends for a while to take the worry away from them. I had a bit of a rough ride with me DS in 2020 and a pandemic baby was tough with rules around hospital visits and the rest were tough. I'm going to just go with this and hope whatever the outcome it's the best one.
Its so helpful having a supportive DH. It must be so difficult for those who don't have that.
I wish you luck and congratulations x

Ladyj84 · 13/02/2024 22:19

So lovely for yous.I'm almost 40 and had 3 in the last 2 years and wouldn't change a thing

MummyTo4BoysXXXX · 14/02/2024 17:36

@40andprettybored have you made a decision yet? How about you & your husband book an early scan & that may help you decide hun especially if you see your little growing miracle 💕 i think it's lovely unexpected news & 💯% a blessing in disguise almost! 🥰 Goodluck either way & will be looking out for an update 😁

Original poster
40andprettybored · 14/02/2024 18:58

Hi all. I'm 9 weeks now. All going well. Only told my mum that's it. Waiting to see everything is ok before telling anyone. Terrible morning, daytime and evening sickness!!

OP posts:
Original poster
40andprettybored · 07/03/2024 06:55

An update I never ever thought I would have to give. My baby died. He had died in my stomach at 2 months but I didn't know until 3 months. We found out at scan. I'm struggling to do anything. I don't know why - why any of this has happened. Why my body would let me get pregnant after 8 years but then this to happen. I didn't think this would happen and I'm so angry for being so naive and cocky about it. We were so happy for 3 months. Now I don't know what to do. I had to take the pills to get it out and I haven't left bed since. I will never be the same again.

OP posts:
sandgrown · 07/03/2024 07:00

This reply has been withdrawn

We have withdrawn this post in respect of the OP's update. Flowers

Lorddenning1 · 07/03/2024 07:02

@40andprettybored there is nothing I can say to make this feel any better for you, other than you are not alone, this happened to me also this year, baby was an "accident" we got excited only to find out at our 12 week that our baby died at 6 weeks. We we're devastated, and can easily cry about it again when I think back to what we went through,
My only advice would be to take the time to grieve, for your family and for your baby, take some time off work and cry if you need to, get angry or scream.
I had my hen do to go on a few weeks later and my instinct was to cancel but I'm glad I went. With time it does get better, look after yourself OP,

Original poster
40andprettybored · 07/03/2024 07:04

Lorddenning1 · 07/03/2024 07:02

@40andprettybored there is nothing I can say to make this feel any better for you, other than you are not alone, this happened to me also this year, baby was an "accident" we got excited only to find out at our 12 week that our baby died at 6 weeks. We we're devastated, and can easily cry about it again when I think back to what we went through,
My only advice would be to take the time to grieve, for your family and for your baby, take some time off work and cry if you need to, get angry or scream.
I had my hen do to go on a few weeks later and my instinct was to cancel but I'm glad I went. With time it does get better, look after yourself OP,

Thank you. I'm so unbelievably sad. I've cried every day.

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 07/03/2024 07:07

You will never be the same.
You were happy and he was really happy too, until he died.
You did your best. You were his best and only mother.

48wheaties · 07/03/2024 07:11

OP, you must be so shocked and sad. I was sad to read your news today. I hope you have lots of hugs today 🌺

user49682 · 07/03/2024 07:34

40andprettybored · 07/03/2024 06:55

An update I never ever thought I would have to give. My baby died. He had died in my stomach at 2 months but I didn't know until 3 months. We found out at scan. I'm struggling to do anything. I don't know why - why any of this has happened. Why my body would let me get pregnant after 8 years but then this to happen. I didn't think this would happen and I'm so angry for being so naive and cocky about it. We were so happy for 3 months. Now I don't know what to do. I had to take the pills to get it out and I haven't left bed since. I will never be the same again.

So sorry to read this update OP. A very similar thing happened my happened to me last year my MIL passed away and the same week I found out i was pregnant. It was completely unplanned but it felt meant to be especially with everything that was going on.
I lost the baby at 9/10 weeks. I like you just felt so sad and confused as you rarely get any answers.

Be kind to yourself sending you lots of love

Wish44 · 07/03/2024 07:54

I’m so sorry OP … I had a missed miscarriage at 42.I was so so sad. We had been trying for a long time.

I did go on to have a baby at 44 though!

be kind to yourself. This is no one’s fault 💐 but I know how unfair it feels…. And how shocking that your body carries on as if pregnant when not.

HappyDaze23 · 07/03/2024 20:16

I’m so sorry to hear your update op. It’s heartbreaking. I lost my ‘surprise’ baby boy at 17 weeks pregnant when I was 40 and it was devastating. As pp suggests, take the time to grieve and recover, physically and mentally.

Katkins17 · 07/03/2024 20:26

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Katkins17 · 07/03/2024 20:31

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I'm so sorry OP ...
I wrote this so full of excitement for you then scrolled down and read your most recent post.

I can't express how sorry I am.
Sending so much love xxx

ByOpalDuck · 07/03/2024 20:33

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Icanflyhigh · 07/03/2024 20:34

My heart just broke for you sweetheart. I have no other words than be kind to yourself and let DH love you as much as he can.
I cannot even begin to think how you feel, I just know this world is a shitty place at times.
Sending lots of strength and love xx

LittleGreenDuck · 07/03/2024 20:37

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Read the thread and start your own. This isn't an appropriate place to be posting your pregnancy tests.

OP, I'm so very sorry. Please take time to heal and look after yourself.

ByOpalDuck · 07/03/2024 20:39

I’m so very sorry! I’ve never been on here before and have no idea how to work it I didn’t even realise I thought it was my own thread. So sorry for any upset genuine mistake on my part and sending all my love

bananasstink · 07/03/2024 20:39

This happened to me about 18 months ago. A big shock of a positive test at the age of 45. I went on to have a a miscarriage. It broke me for a while. I still think about the what ifs. I'm so sorry for your loss. You are not alone

ByOpalDuck · 07/03/2024 20:39

Can someone please advise how to delete my post

Lovetosleep1 · 07/03/2024 20:40

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I had two missed miscarriages last year at 42 both died at 10 weeks. It's such an awful shock and I felt really angry and sad. Just look after yourself and take time to grieve.

SoOutingWhoCares · 07/03/2024 20:40

ByOpalDuck · 07/03/2024 20:39

Can someone please advise how to delete my post

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