Who can honestly say they are not as excited about their second pregnancy as they was about their first?

[OFSTEDoutstanding]

OK I am 17 weeks pregnant and have a ds who will bw almost 3 when this one is born. I am finding it really hard to feel excited or even sometimes any form of enthusiasm for this pregnancy. I know that once the baby arrives I will love it like I do my ds but what really worries me is how much it will affect him.
He is confident, happy and very well behaved and I am worried that this new arrival will change all that. We are very aware that we don't want him to feel pushed out so potty training, new bedroom and preschool will all start before the little one comes so he doesn't link them with the new arrival, but what if he doesn't like the baby?
I really don't get on with my sister and there are 4 years between us, I remember how I felt when she was born and still feel pushed out by my parents over the differences in the way we are treat by them.
Am I being a hormone filled paranoid mother or have some of you had experiences that you could warn me about?

Me too awen. I do feel less and less guilty now though as the wks go on. Ds 1 is 8 and ds 2 is now 6mths, so its getting better. And he enjoyed his Easter morning with all his eggs!

Im gonna make sure that he has a day during the hols where we do something just the two of us without the baby. Maybe the cinema or whatever he wants to do.

carmen - glad it gets easier. ds2 is only 12 weeks atm so takes up alot of my time. Ds1 gets really involved and even got his brother off to sleep today (clever boy ) I keep telling ds1 that as ds2 gets older he will get more time as ds2 will b less demanding. I know ds2 will never have me like ds1 has, but still feel like i should be giving ds1 all the time he needs and had before as well as fulfilling ds2's needs. THing is i know practically it is impossilbe and if i try too i will make myself ill.

You sound like me awen.

I was trying(unsuccessfully) to give them both the same time at first. you just cant do it.

I felt so bad cos i often left ds1 playing on the computer or watching TV(not that he minded!)

However, ds2 goes to bed about 715 now, so we usually try and sit and watch Hollyoaks and always have a story in bed. When ds2 has a nap i will sometimes play a game outside with ds1 for a bit and yesterday his dad and i took turns playing xbox with him.

I was soooo excited about my second pregnancy more because I knew DD1 was going to have a little sister and since small age gap they'd hopefully be great friends too. I was worried about DD1s reaction and I was right to - she did not take to the baby at all and screamed when I was bfing. But, slowly but surely, she seems to grow up just a little and realised that DD2 was staying, and that we loved her as much as always. She is fine now, children are very adaptable. When "issy" is napping she always tells me we should go and get her, or asks where she is and gives her lots of kisses.

There's no point worrying now! Get your DS involved in your pregnancy (take him to scans if you can etc) and get excited all together! Because it is exciting, and it will be absolutely fine

Thank you for this thread.

I thought there was something wrong with me but now I know that my feelings are normal.

I am 22 weeks pregnant with number 2 and although this baby was planned and much wanted, I feel that I have somehow betrayed my DD. She will be 3 when the new baby is born.

I feel like I can't admit this to anybody in RL so once again thanks x

Agree with Gemy about taking them to scans etc. I did that and it really helped, also read books about babies and their development at each stage. He would say things like, the baby is starting to move more now lol. Also when baby kicks let sibling feel it.

Gemy - my ds1 seems to 'need' my attention whenever ds2 is latched on find it so hard not to get cross and atm i do at times

Glad it gets easier carmen, i try and play on ps2 with ds1 but it seems as soon as we start something ds2 needs a feed. It will get better and ds1 is a fab big bro and delights in all of ds2's developments.

When ds2 started smiling i said that it was especially for ds1 and when ds1 disturbed feeding today i explained that the baby loves him so much that when he hears his voice he forgets about feeding and just wants him so i need him to be quiet when i am putting baby to bed so he gets sleep worked a treat. x

I'm 9 wks pregnant w/no 2 and also worry that I am somehow 'betraying' my no 1. But then I ask myself - would I really want my daughter to be an only child? And realise that in the long-term having a sibling will be the best thing for her.

This will be my 3rd pregnancy, 1st was 14 years ago the 2nd was Oct 07 (mis miscar) and I am now 10w + 1.

I would not say I am excited but very anxious, due to the previous mmc.

I am into mat clothes already so there is no worry about forgetting I am pregnant.

I think the excitment will come after the anomoly scan once we know the sex -

Too be honest just be glad when it's all over and I have the newborn in my arms.

I feel just like Mizza - when I said I felt guilty it was exactly what my husband said -would I rather I didn't have a brother? Of course I am so glad to have him, I thought that my daughter will hopefully feel the same.

I disagree about taking siblings to scans though - but as a cautious person, although I love to see my baby on the screen, I feel that these are to check for problems and abnormalities and (god forbid) if we are so unlucky I certainly would not want my daughter to be there to experience our concern and upset.

I am pleased I waited a bit longer as she will (just!) be settled four mornings at nursery so I will have mornings with the baby and afternoons all together. I have an absolute bee in my bonnet seeing so many second and third babies just quietly laying in their bouncy chair, totally ignored as the toddler is demanding all the attention! "First child advantage" and all that worries me, so I am determined to do what I can to give our next one as much attention and stimulation as I can, like our daughter was able to have.

I have the same gap as you with my two dd's and I have to say I was just as excited if not more because the 2nd was planned. the first was a lovely surprise

i love being pregnant so i guess that has a lot to do with it.

I could have written a lot of the posts on this thread. I'm 32 weeks pg with no. 2 - dd is 3.8.

dd is excited about being a big sister, and I feel so guilty that her world is about to be turned upside down and dh and I will have less time for her.

I am getting to the uncomfortable stage and resent it far more this time round.

Despite being massive, I frequently forget I am pg and can't usually remember how many weeks I am - huge contrast to 1st pg when I was obsessed and excited about every little detail.

I don't want to take time off work - I like my job and we are all settled in our family routine. I feel resentful towards the new baby for forcing me to take maternity leave

Having said all that, I am looking forward to the baby and can't wait for dd to meet him/her. Dh is keeping me going as he is far more enthusiastic about the whole thing than I am!