Did your partner come to your later midwife appointments?(34 weeks and beyond)

[Lou98x]

I am 32 weeks pregnant at the moment, and up until now my husband has been at my two scans, and came with me for my GTT (as I didn’t want to be alone and bored!), but none of my regular appointments with the midwife. How beneficial would it be for him to attend my 34 week appointment and beyond? My understanding is that the midwife will start talking about birth and preparing for that, so think it’s important he knows how that’s going to work too! Did your partner attend any later appointments?

Dh came because I wanted to make sure I had asked all the question and discussed everything I wanted. He's a total rock.

Mine didn't attend any of the appointments as I preferred him sleeping between his night shifts. And anyway I had a scan and doctor once a month so there were lots to attend and I was happy to wait with a book or music on to relax.

First pregnancy here. My DH came to my EPAU scan, 12 week scan and both anatomy scans (misbehaving baby!). He didn't come to my booking appointment but did come to my 16 week midwife appointment largely because I managed to book it at 9am, 5 mins from his work and we were told they would use the doppler so we would hear heartbeat for first time.

I've been to weekly scans due to issues from pretty much 28 weeks (39 now!). We've had to prioritise and he's come to a couple of growth scans where I've had a consultant appointment after and decisions are being made. Think he maybe came to one other midwife appointment because again was 9am and close to work.

He did come to an antenatal class and a breastfeeding antenatal class with me and bought himself a book to read too. Much more useful than watching a midwife test a pot of my urine, take my bp, measure my bump and send me on my way 😂.

Also I wouldn't listen to the poster that said attendance is a red flag. It isn't. They can tell when someone is there in a supportive role and you're comfortable.

My DH was there carrying my bag, offering to help me clean off the gel I couldn't see, help me up off the bed, tie my shoes, holding my hand when I was anxious due to the issues, and asking questions and pointing bits of baby out. Very clearly supportive and engaged in the appointments and mine and babies welfare.

Edit to say he was asking questions that I can't see being red flags such as in conversations where they ask about my mental health and how I'm feeling, he asked as a partner what signs he needed to look out for in regards to recognising I might be suffering post partum depression etc, or with breastfeeding classes in the Q&A with some breastfeeding women asking them how their partners help and what they found most helpful.

No, he came to the scans but only the birth plan appointment that the midwife said would be good for him to be at. Didn’t come to any of the others.

My husband only came to the scans and a couple of antenatal classes. As he is self employed we didn't want to lose more money than we needed to!

Scans for our first but nothing for the second as she was a Covid baby so wasn't allowed...he was only just allowed in for the birth!

No i can’t imagine that, would be like asking him to come to my routine docs appts. He came to scans, that was all I wished or needed.

Came to all the hospital appointments - had quite a lot as twin pregnancy. Don’t think he came to any of the midwife clinics.

Early days for us (am 12+6) but DH has been to the 5 week scan, 7 week scan (previous ectopic and miscarriage so EPU needed to check location and viability) and the 12 week scan plus my booking in. He's planning to come to the obstetrician appointment and the remaining midwife appointments, plus the 20 and 36 week scans. He plans to come to all appointments unless there's a clash with work that means he can't.

At the booking appointment the midwife asked to see me alone initially to ask about any abuse or issues I may not want to mention in front of someone else (previous terminations, medical history etc.) She didn't have a problem with him being there for the rest. It was probably helpful as she could ask about his medical history.

My husband came to none of my appointments! He wasn't even there when my baby was put back inside me! He works away and was away for Embryo Transfer day! He wasn't there when I went in to be induced because I didn't see the point until I was actually in Labour, he'd have just been bored!

No. I had a “Covid baby” so appointments stated that it was specifically only for the pregnant women apart from the 2 scans both of which he had to wait outside the building until I was called then I had to call him to come in. The extra growth scans I needed he wasn’t allowed to attend. No one discussed birth with me until my baby measured big then I chose a c section. With surprise baby no. 2 he came to first scan but all other appointments and scans I went to myself as he had to stay home to mind our toddler. I don’t think he missed much not being at midwife appointments. Most of them they just took my BP bloods quick listen in and voiced my out the door

Birth plans are also pointless. Just make ymsure you have a basic understanding of the pros and cons of all the different pain killers. You'll probs get a pamphlet on them at some point.

My husband came with me to my scans when he could. Never to midwife's as he had to work and it seemed pointless him being there. Talk about what kind of birth you want before you go to the app if you like but our only plan was for the baby to arrive safely and for as many drugs as possible

My husband didn’t come to any of my appointments or scans . It never occurred to me that he should and he didn’t ask ! My mum came to my 20 week scans but I didn’t find out the sex for the first 2 . The third I did ,but kept it as a surprise .
This was over 20 years ago !