Disappointing husband

[HarrietL89]

I’m pregnant and my husband has been behaving in really upsetting ways.

He will message/call to say he’s on his way home from work and then be gone for hours and hours. Sometimes all night and sometimes as late as 4am.

I’ve told him multiple times it upsets me a lot and he says sorry which I’ve said means nothing when he keeps doing the same thing. He gets annoyed at me for not accepting a false apology - as words mean nothing if the actions are always the same.

He did this to me last week and I was so upset and now again tonight. It’s Monday and it’s not how I want to start my week. I’m so upset and hurt and it’s so stressful!

Track him, get in investigation guys, and confront

I’m sorry you’re being treated so callously and I suspect that part of your distress is the feeling of powerlessness. There’s no purpose in arguing with an idiot or a liar. It won’t achieve anything, if you are able to …either change the locks and text him to stay away or without notifying him, disappear for a few days and use the time to see a lawyer and take some legal advice. He’s telling you who he is and I’m afraid that won’t improve for you post the baby’s birth.

Nah, best not waste money on tracking some shitty bloke, that money could go on the kid, and the divorce. Have you seen a solicitor or planned your life, housing etc for being rid of this failure of a man?
Obviously don’t change the locks, it’s his house too, unfortunately.

Please leave OP. It’s not getting any better

The thing is you have told him his behaviour upsets you and he is continuing to do it. You now need to implement a consequence for that. I'm not one to throw out LTB, but he has no incentive to change because you're still there every time he does it.

You need to leave. This won't change.

How many weeks are you? You should seriously consider a termination and definitely leave this man, it won't get better. I'm guessing he's sudeldenly got cold feet. Sorry OP

Thanks everyone - I appreciate the support at a time that feels so lonely and low.
I need to just work up my strength and get out of this situation. I know I’ll be a good Mum. I’m the main earner even if I’m not on a lot and I’ve dreamed of having a child and how I’ll bring up a child to be happy and loved. I always thought I’d have an adult as husband and someone reliable but that isn’t the case.

It’s so disappointing marrying someone who is not who they seemed and just doesn’t have similar values.