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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Not great news,

45 replies

Longbarn5 · 23/10/2023 20:59

So, we had our 12 week scan today at 11.6. Partner was excited. I was a little anxious for no real reason. I had all pregnancy symptoms bubbling away and a little bump developing.

Sadly our baby had no heartbeat and was said to have passed at around the six week mark. So, diagnosis missed miscarriage We are obviously really upset but I am aware that miscarriage itself is very common although missed miscarriage much less so.

The question I am asking myself is why I retained the pregnancy for six full weeks. Why did my body retain the pregnancy and all the related hormones while others miscarry straight away? Everything else was fine. Gestation sac even measured correctly for 12 weeks,

OP posts:
hellohellothere · 23/10/2023 21:02

I had a missed miscarriage. I started bleeding at 12 weeks but lost the baby at 8 weeks. The sac was still growing. For some people the pregnancy hormones still carry on even after the heart stops beating. Sorry for your loss x

hellohellothere · 23/10/2023 21:03

I think missed miscarriages are a lot rarer than regular miscarriages. Bodies work in mysterious ways!

Original poster
Longbarn5 · 23/10/2023 21:04

Thank you and sorry for your loss too. If I am having a good moment and trying to think positively, I feel that if my body has retained my pregnancy for this long, at least my hormones etc were all ok.

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Original poster
Longbarn5 · 23/10/2023 21:06

hellohellothere · 23/10/2023 21:03

I think missed miscarriages are a lot rarer than regular miscarriages. Bodies work in mysterious ways!

That's what the sonographer said. She was rather upset herself, albeit very professional.

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hellohellothere · 23/10/2023 21:09

I was shocked too as you expect instant bleeding etc. I had an mva procedure a week later as the pregnancy didn't pass on it's own. It's a rubbish time but wishing you a speedy recovery!

Oopsupsideyourheadache · 23/10/2023 21:17

I'm really sorry for your loss @Longbarn5 ❤️

Crimsonripple · 23/10/2023 21:18

I've had three miscarriages and each one very different. Two missed, one natural. There seems to be no answer to how your body chooses to retain it.

Vikki7 · 23/10/2023 21:19

I had a twin MMC back in 2018. I was first scanned at just over 7 weeks and found one twin to have no heartbeat. But was told to come back in 2 weeks to see if anything developed. Twin 2 was perfect and a lovely heartbeat.

At 9+2 (April '18) I was scanned again and twin one had not developed. There was no heartbeat but to make it worse, twin 2 no longer had a heartbeat. It turned out twin 2 was sent for genetic testing as hadn't formed properly. It was a girl, she had Turners Syndrome. Twin 1 was too small to do any testing on. I think it was Easter weekend at that time so after that and I had to wait a week or so for an ERPC.

I had no bleeding during this time but was terrified to start bleeding as I had a 1 year old girl at home.

Just over a year later in May '19 I had my little boy at 41 weeks and I'm now 30weeks pregnant with another boy.

I will never forget the devastation of that April afternoon, I didn't have any support around me so I pray that you have loving family and friends to support you through this and take time to grieve what could have been. There is still hope for you should you wish to grow your family.

lucya66 · 23/10/2023 21:25

Sorry for your loss 💐

Ttcmumma · 23/10/2023 21:25

I'm so sorry for your loss Hun, it's devastating. You'd be surprised how much more common MMC are than you think. Once I had one, I found so many people close to me have experienced it too!!

I lost my baby at 10+6, found out at 13+2 and miscarried at 14 weeks with the help of some tablets. Sadly sometimes our body is more ready for the pregnancy than the baby is and won't let go. I like you had all the symptoms, they were pretty strong the entire time. Had a proper bump too. It's a scarring moment seeing that screen with no movement not heartbeat. It will stay with you forever but you will learn to hold that baby in your heart while you continue your life. I wear my scan picture in a necklace everyday.

Im now 16 weeks and have a 5 year old from before the MMC, so hopefully, you may never have to experience this again. Many of us go on to have healthy babies, even if all we wanted was our precious baby who passed.

I'm so sorry for your loss, feel all the emotions you need to grieve, I hope you can feel stronger soon xx

RudsyFarmer · 23/10/2023 21:28

I had a missed miscarriage and after investigation the baby had Downs Syndrome. My body also happily nurtured a later pregnancy where the baby had a different chromosomal abnormality. I don’t know why the body continues regardless. I think at some point it would have expelled the pregnancy as the hormones would have dropped enough.

Original poster
Longbarn5 · 23/10/2023 21:40

So sorry to hear about all the things you have experienced too ladies. It is all pretty awful and I will not be taking anything for granted if I am lucky enough to conceive again.

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Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 23/10/2023 21:44

So sorry tonhear this happened, I well know the shock. Its happened to me twice.

3 successful pregnancies also afterwards.

The epu were great at giving me reassurance scans as I was a wreck in future pregnancies.

Wolfiefan · 23/10/2023 21:50

My first pg was a mmc. My theory (no actual evidence) is that there was a problem that prevented the foetus developing. But my body tried to do its job anyway and continue to nurture it.
I am so sorry. It’s heartbreaking.
Forgive me if it’s too soon to hear this or not appropriate. I have since had two children.
Sending you all the best.

RudsyFarmer · 23/10/2023 21:54

Longbarn5 · 23/10/2023 21:40

So sorry to hear about all the things you have experienced too ladies. It is all pretty awful and I will not be taking anything for granted if I am lucky enough to conceive again.

My consultant said if the woman could get pregnant there was a high chance of having a baby. It was the women that struggled to get pregnant that had bad odds. So I’m sure you will be fine xx

Coinicon · 23/10/2023 21:56

So so sorry for your loss! It’s horrendous. I had a MMC at nearly 9 weeks, discovered at 12 weeks. Had an MVA weeks later. My body was not willing to let go either x

Original poster
Longbarn5 · 23/10/2023 22:02

Vintagecreamandcottagepie · 23/10/2023 21:44

So sorry tonhear this happened, I well know the shock. Its happened to me twice.

3 successful pregnancies also afterwards.

The epu were great at giving me reassurance scans as I was a wreck in future pregnancies.

Thank you and so sorry for the losses too. Brilliant to hear of your three successful pregnancies though. I will definitely be going for more scans next time and if I have to pay so be it.

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Original poster
Longbarn5 · 23/10/2023 22:03

I agree. I feel lucky to be able to conceive easily.

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Original poster
Longbarn5 · 23/10/2023 22:04

Wolfiefan · 23/10/2023 21:50

My first pg was a mmc. My theory (no actual evidence) is that there was a problem that prevented the foetus developing. But my body tried to do its job anyway and continue to nurture it.
I am so sorry. It’s heartbreaking.
Forgive me if it’s too soon to hear this or not appropriate. I have since had two children.
Sending you all the best.

Thank you and that is exactly what I am thinking.

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Original poster
Longbarn5 · 23/10/2023 22:06

Coinicon · 23/10/2023 21:56

So so sorry for your loss! It’s horrendous. I had a MMC at nearly 9 weeks, discovered at 12 weeks. Had an MVA weeks later. My body was not willing to let go either x

So sorry to hear. I am wondering just how long it would have been retained if I hadnt had the scan! X

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justanothernamechangemonday · 23/10/2023 22:09

I've had 2 consecutive MMC's. My consultant was amazing and organised tests after the second (Edward's syndrome). I believe the first loss was also an issue with the baby, makes it easier to come to terms with if I'm honest. I now have a 3 month old. I'm so sorry for your loss. I developed PTSD and had a terrible pregnancy this time round, with insomnia and horrible anxiety. My advice would be to try and talk as much as you can in any further pregnancies. Best of luck.

Original poster
Longbarn5 · 23/10/2023 22:28

justanothernamechangemonday · 23/10/2023 22:09

I've had 2 consecutive MMC's. My consultant was amazing and organised tests after the second (Edward's syndrome). I believe the first loss was also an issue with the baby, makes it easier to come to terms with if I'm honest. I now have a 3 month old. I'm so sorry for your loss. I developed PTSD and had a terrible pregnancy this time round, with insomnia and horrible anxiety. My advice would be to try and talk as much as you can in any further pregnancies. Best of luck.

So sorry to hear about your MMCs and wonderful to hear that you are now mum to a 3 month old. I can completely understand why you developed the PTSD. I am going to join those who go for regular early scans next time. I would rather know earlier that the pregnancy was not viable than wait until 12 weeks and find the same again. I know MMCs are supposedly not very common but I dont think I could cope with going 12 weeks again under the assumption that all was going smoothly when it wasn't!

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girljulian · 23/10/2023 22:32

So sorry for your loss. I have just been to the hospital today to take the first pill to help me expel my miscarried embryo. It isn't going anywhere on its own, apparently. I still have pregnancy symptoms and the most intense dye-stealing positive pregnancy tests. Sometimes our bodies are just thick, it seems!

Original poster
Longbarn5 · 23/10/2023 23:07

Oh girljulian, so sorry for your loss too. How far gone are you/should you be? Did you find out at scan too?
The nausia is really annoying me now. I coped when I thought all was well but it is just upsetting me now!!
I

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girljulian · 23/10/2023 23:10

@Longbarn5 I should be 8+5 now! I am so grateful that I found out at a scan last week because I had a tiny bit of spotting and it freaked me out so much that I insisted on being scanned early. I feel horrified at the idea that the pregnancy would just have stayed there until my dating scan otherwise!