Hiding pregnancy at Christmas Party??

[Thriving30]

Hi all just looking for some advice.
I've recently found out I'm pregnant (very early stages still). I have worked out I will be about 12 weeks at my work's christmas party. I put my name down & paid the deposit weeks ago.

I can't really 'get out of it' because I pulled out last year stating personal reasons (I actually had an MC and as you can imagine wasn't in the mood to celebrate anything) - Nobody at work is aware of this - so I will look really antisocial and weird if I don't go this year.

I really don't want anyone knowing at that stage, including family until I'm sure everything is OK with this pregnancy, as I've had two MC's in the past.

I do like my alcohol and have been out with colleagues regularly throughout the year, drinking, and we have already talked about doing shots etc (obviously before I knew I was pregnant!) so I have no idea how I'm going to avoid drinking!

Please can anyone give me some tips/advice? I'm thinking of ordering lemonade or something so it's not obvious? But I think they give a glass of fizz on arrival!

Either drive , or say you’re not drinking as you had a hell of a night out at the weekend and still feel a bit hungover and can’t face alcohol

Indeed. I was on metro last year, due to a gum infection, and I had a few parties around that time.
I told people I was on antibiotics, but Id also told them about my gum infection (or my gum pain, at the time) before I started taking them. These were work people.

OP could develop something similar in the run up, and talk about it at work.
I wasnt pregnant and no one thought I was. I was just on metro. (Though we had had a party a few days before, which was the day before I called 111 and started taking metro)

Also, in OP lives in London, for instance, driving would be a terrible excuse to not drink, as where the hell do you park in central London? It is a worse excuse than saying you have a gum infection and are taking metronidazole.

I got out of a similar situation recently by driving to the venue. I think the old antibiotics excuse is more easy to see through.

(I live in London but the event was outside London).

I am in a similar position. I’d also already pre booked my food. Two of the courses are not suitable if pregnant! 😳

If you say antibiotics, you may as well hang a neon sign over your head saying "pregnant".

Fake drinking is the way to go. Accept the fizz on arrival, and touch it to your lips a few times - the miniscule amounts you might ingest from doing that really won't matter. And no-one is going to be policing how much you're drinking - they won't notice anything as long as you have a drink in your hand

And then take the drink with you to the loo and pour it away (if you have DH or a very trusted friend there, you can avoid waste by swopping glasses, so the other person drinks the lot)

Then move on to gin and tonic which is actually plain tonic.

Same boat as you OP, except our do is a lunch. I think I'm going to invite another party the night before and claim I hit it too hard (decreased tolerance after doing no-alcohol November ) and can't face drinking.

It's unknown for me to have a killer hangover so I'm hoping they'll buy it.

Invent! Not invite!

Say you're starting with cystitis so dont to drink as will make it worse.

Tell everyone you're hungover as you were out with pals last night?

I don't always drink at parties. If I don't it's normally because I have an early morning, have to drive somewhere early in the morning, antibiotics or just have a busy day the next day.
Nobody has every questioned me so they must be plausible reasons :)

Good luck and congrats OP 🙂

Try not to worry too much. It won't be a Secret forever and if people guess let's hope they have the courtesy to keep it to themselves!

Hangover. Maybe invent another Christmas party the night before? Sadly you got carried away/mixed drinks/wine was stronger than you realised.

From what I remember, I think around 12 weeks was still the crushing tiredness phase - you're building all the baby's main organs and it is draining, even though your body doesn't look any different yet! I recall coming home from work, eating a sandwich for dinner and going to bed at 6pm.

So you might just want to give it a miss, by that point.

Take the welcome drink and just pretend to drink. Way less suspicious than refusing it

I think it might be less obvious than you think. I saw my long term school friend twice in a month for her wedding and another friends and she announced her pregnancy a few months later. I now know she wasn't drinking alcohol at either of them and I never had a clue (I was sat next to her at the second wedding!). I think I was merry on champers myself and you don't really think about the little details. If anyone really questioned it I think I'd just say I was getting a bit of a headache and didn't want to chance making it worse.

Just fake drink, that's what I did. I found out the day of a friends wedding, so I held a massive glass of red wine and just pretended to sip it, and occasionally dumped a bit into a pot plant. Granted that was 12 years ago, and I didn't drink vodka/gin then so didn't think to ask for a fake version of one.

I'd expect most people are going to be far more focused on getting twatted themselves that they won't be paying any attention!

If anyone questions anything just say you've got an early start the next day and need to drive somewhere.

And congratulations and good luck.

Of you pretend to drink (lemonade in a martini glass, etc., then when you're due in summer, people will remember that you were 'drinking'.

Just say you're driving.

Drink white wine or vodka (pretend) and just dump it down the sink in the ladies and refill with tap water (or ask bar staff to switch it with water). Its pretty easy to pretend sip, just keep your lips closed and tip the glass until they are wet.

I’m a waitress and last Christmas I came across this situation a couple of times. In both cases the lady had a quiet word with me. One time I served a fake Prosecco (lemonade and elderflower cordial) and the other time I served her a special gin and tonic, with just the tonic.

Hold the glass of champagne for a while but do sip from it, and then as you are mingling, leave it somewhere. Move onto a coke or plain tonic, nobody needs to know what is in it.

If people are buying rounds, just lose a lot of drinks. Leave them in the loos, on tables, etc. Honestly nobody looks that closely, if you’ve got a glass in your hand they’ll assume it’s alcohol.

Just go ? Why do you have to pretend to drink or feel pressured to act as though you have been ? Just say you dont want a drink or if u need an excuse say you have car ? Noone should ever feel they SHOULD be drinking regardless of any circumstances, past or present.

Why ??? Its pathetic. Hold a coca cola amd noone would care. What a crock of shit this pretending to have alcohol

Ikr

"Hey, at the Christmas party Jen had a drink in her hand all night, now she's on maternity leave. Wtf."

Just hold a coke or lemonade. 'what are you having?' 'I'm ok thanks.'

The end.

????? Dont go to party then cos everyone else suggesting she hold a champagne glass with eldeflpwer amd lemonade to look like champers so holding a coke is surely better once on mat leave as can be said just a coke. Fucking hell either go a d drink pop or dont go. Simple !!

Glad somebody said this. I went to various functions while pregnant and before announcing to anyone, never crossed my mind to pretend to drink. I either drove there cos it saved money rather than getting taxis or I just said I fancied a coke or whatever instead. Nobody questioned it, nobody pushed me to drink etc.
OP don't overthink it. Just go and enjoy the socialising and your meal, or stay home and who cares if people think you're antisocial? They'll realise why you skipped it when you announce your pregnancy further down the line.

All these 'just don't drink, nobody will notice / question it' obviously work in different places to me. We're a team of 15, of which I've been a part for 15 years.

They all know I love red wine and when we're sat round one table at the Christmas lunch and someone is taking a drinks order / pouring the wine it will absolutely be noted if I have a lemonade instead. Unfortunately there are also a couple in the team who would immediately react 'oooh, something you're not telling us?'.

They're the same ones who've asked if I'm broody / aren't DH and I going to have kids throughout the 3 years we've been trying unsuccessfully, so frankly if I could get to 40 weeks without telling them I would.