IVF pregnancies - Spring 2024

[thislittlebird]

Anyone here in a similar position? I'm feeling a bit of an odd one out on forums now where I don't feel pregnant pregnant and I don't feel infertile infertile, and thought I'd see if others were in the same, tentative situation. I don't feel like I'm ready to join the main May 2024 gang until I'm more confident this will continue.

I'm only 4 weeks 5 days :/

I say “have to” like someone is making us lol, but I know dh will want to do that

@ASGIRC thanks for explaining it, that makes sense. That’s good that you can still check characteristics like hair and eye colour match etc

@thislittlebird that sounds like a smart decision re the job.
You’re so lucky you’ve not had covid. This recent strain seems to be particularly bad.
It wasn’t a gender scan I had, they can’t detect the sex on a scan until 16 weeks absolute earliest. It’s a blood test you can do which checks whether you have Y Chromosomes in your blood. If you do it’s a boy and if you don’t it’s a girl. That’s lovely if you can name a boy after your partners grandad. I’m intrigued as to what the Easter name would have been

@Misty84 thanks. The covid symptoms seemed to have passed just as my pregnancy symptoms seemed to have got worse 🙈
yes I’m having a boy 😊 just struggling with names. I’m sorry for your losses but that’s lovely to be able to name your child after them.
Loads of people in my family are already named after my grandad so as much as I loved him, it’s just too common in my family. I think I might give him my dads name as a middle name. As I’m doing this on my own, my dad will probably be the most prominent male figure in his life anyway

@Doughnut89 Im going on faith, as I wasnt shown, just told they matched my hair and eye colour! But I also dont know what is going on in their families, so who knows what colour scheme might come out!! LOL

I have a girl name decided on (no middle name).
And I have a tentative boy name, but since the first name is my brothers name, I would ask him for permission to use it, as I know how annoying it is to have a close relation be named after you (my step niece was given my name, so that my stepdad could have "his own ASGIRC"🙄)

@ASGIRC yea I sort of get that. I’m using donor sperm and though he has the same hair and eye colour as me, I don’t know what else is going on in his family genes lol 🤷🏻‍♀️

And WOW 😮 that seems so spiteful of your stepsister to do that. Is she jealous of the relationship you have with your stepdad?

@Doughnut89 I dont have a particularly close relationship with my stepdad! Its ok, but nothing to cry home about. This is not about me. It is about the fact that my stepdad remarried.
About 25 years ago, my dad was in hospital, and while it was serious, t wasnt life threatening or anything.
She had a breakdown, of what if my dad died and then her dad would become our dad....🙄My brother and I were teens at the time. Not young children. Even IF my dad had died, no one would take his place.

As it turns out, they are both veyr much still alive!
Shes just an absolute bitch on wheels, with serious MH issues.

@thislittlebird I didn’t realise that they won’t let you go to full term for those reasons- why is that?
That’s really good that you’ve sorted a regional name! Haha yes we really have had a LONG time to think about this. I’ll let you know when it stops feeling like a pipe dream!😜

@Doughnut89 I haven’t had Covid but like thislittlebird I suspect it’s possibly due to an overactive immune system (or just lucky!), which is why I’m on Hydroxychloroquine sulphate for this pregnancy.
I didn’t know you were doing this on your own❤️- sorry if I missed your story earlier in the thread- I hope you have lots of support, I bet your dad will be an amazing male figure! 🙏
Is it an anonymous donor or will contact be possible IF your child wants to in the future?
And same question to @ASGIRC?
Slightly gobsmacked about your step sister ASGIRC- she sounds AWFUL!😱

@Misty84 yes, the child can reach out once they reach 18. Doesn't mean the donors will reply. They can choose not to.

And yeah, both my stepsisters are awful.
I've cut them from my life many years ago.
Unfortunately, I still have to interact every once in a while, as my stepdad prefers to ignore how awful they are (even to him).

@ASGIRC im not sure what MH stands for but she does sound like a bitch.

@Misty84 I hope being on Hydroxychloroquine sulphate is alright, I find it enough of a pain being on the pessaries.
umm yea I’ve shared this on some other IVF threads and maybe earlier on this one too but basically I found out last year that I had fertility issues and rather than “wait to meet the right person” I just decided to take action and do it by myself. Thankfully I have a lot of supportive friends and family around.
The sperm donor is anonymous and so legally I can’t try and make contact until the child is 18 however he has said he is open to meeting the child in the future which I think is nice. The donor wrote a “pen sketch” about himself and a letter to his future child and I got a really nice vibe from him

@ASGIRC Thanks for explaining 😊

@Doughnut89 Yes well I’ve been on the hydro sulphate for a year and a half now so I’m well and truly used to it!🙃 And cyclogest pessaries for 3 months. Aspirin. CoQ10. Then the usual prenatal, Vit D and omega 3. It’s the care plan given to me by the miscarriage unit.

That is absolutely lovely from your donor, really touched my heart!, a pen sketch and a letter is going to mean so much to your child. 💕

@Doughnut89 mental health!!

I decided about 10 years ago, as long term relationships eluded me, that, if by 35,I still hadn't met prince charming, that I would start considering being a single mom and saving money.

35 came and went, and I started taking this option more seriously, and saving up. Covid put a bit of a spanner in the works, and things got a bit delayed because of it, but here I am now!!
I will be 41 by the time the baby is born, but better late than never!!
And then I will spend the next year and a half debating if a second is doable or not, both financially and physically! 😂😂

@Doughnut89 yeah I’m glad I haven’t had it, but makes me paranoid if I do get it it’ll be bad. DH has had it twice, it’s been in the house and same bed twice (before he’s been relocated to the spare room lol) but I’ve not got it. Touch wood that continues!

Oh wow, not heard of that test. Was it expensive? Dh hasn’t agreed to any names yet because we’ve been hesitant to discuss. We still are, it makes me worried I’m jumping the gun. But I can’t help thinking about it! I’m not entirely sold on the double barrel thing tbh, but I don’t want to give up my more unusual name and I didn’t take his name when we married, so I feel like double barrel until any kid is older enough and can’t be bothered with two lol. I still like the Easter name tbh, and haven’t ruled it out but it is very much a name 95% of people would hear and think surname. It was in my family as a first name way back. If we were to use his grandad’s name we’d probably check with his parents first.

@Misty84 it’s something to do with increased risk of stillbirth if the pregnancy goes over full term in ivf patients. But I think the research indicates it could be an age thing, or underlying infertility thing with ivf mothers, essentially the placenta has a slightly higher chance of failing afaik. So yeah, they might not force you but I believe some advise it.

Speaking of pipe dreams, I’ve realised I’ve barely had any symptoms today and it’s weirded me out a bit, I’ve had them every day since 2dp5dt, I’m 6 weeks tomorrow :/

@Doughnut89 the pen sketch sounds cute!

@ASGIRC Ahhh mental health. That makes sense

Do you know I’d always said that about 35 too. If I was still single then I’d just do it by myself. But last year I was in a relationship with a guy who had children from his previous marriage and he didn’t want anymore. So I decided as a safety net for myself I’d look into egg freezing and it was at the fertility check up to see how healthy my eggs would be that I found the other issues.
the relationship didn’t work out but I’m so grateful I did that check up. I’ll be 34 when I have my baby next year so despite all the stresses, struggles (and miscarriage) I’ve had this year, I know that it would have been even harder had I waited longer.
I’m sorry covid/ the lockdowns set you back, it had so many additional side effects that people don’t realise. But at least you’re here now and this is the baby you’re meant to have x

@thislittlebird sounds like you should be fine if you’ve already managed to swerve it twice 😊

This is the test;
https://sneakpeektest.com/uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIw5C37vnSgQMVlMbtCh3UtAGLEAAYASAAEgJ8EfD_BwE

it says you can take it from 6 weeks but apparently it’s more reliable from 8 weeks

@thislittlebird Im banking on that age + IVF thing. Ideally id like to not go past 38 weeks! If 37 weeks is safe, then 37 weeks would be good! We shall see how it goes.

@Doughnut89 I kinda wish Id done it earlier, but I was living my best life at 33! LOL No regrets there! I just kinda... forgot I had a time frame, because I forget how old I am on a daily basis. I dont look 40 and I certainly dont feel 40! How am I 40?!?! LOL

Wow @Doughnut89 I had no idea about that test!

@Misty84 are you planning to find out? I don’t know how people wait. I could wait, but I like to know what’s coming and adjust to it.

Amazing they can tell from a blood test.

@ASGIRC same tbh. If I was younger or not ivf I’d been more keen to go full term, but I don’t want to any risk and I’m keen to make decisions that I’m comfortable with which will factor into this not going to full term thing.

I also don’t look 40 imo, but I have noticed a couple of things creeping in like a couple of grey hairs popping up. I think if we’d conceived naturally I’d be less concerned, but we were actively trying from when I was 36, technically stopped preventing even earlier, and the age thing was like a cloud hanging over me throughout, the ivf docs kept reminding me as well.

@thislittlebird I won’t get the blood test just because I’m scared of getting too attached and it not working out again. But once we’re a bit further along and that’s offered to us I don’t know how I’ll possibly be able to resist- the curiosity would drive me mad! But we’ll see. My partner will want to as he likes to be prepared.

I still can’t believe we’re having these conversations when we’ve spent so many years together on infertility threads!!

Do any of us think we look our age?! I also think I look younger than 39 😂

@thislittlebird tbf, I wouldnt ever want to go over 40 weeks. im already hating being pregnant, I cant imagine having to endure up to 2 more weeks of being juge and uncomfortable, when all the baby is doing is putting on weight!

I have some greys, particularly in my temples, but my hair is dyed blue, so you cant tell! LOL

I have old school collegues who DO look 40! But also a fair few who, like me, dont. My cousin, who will be 40 on November definitely looks 40 as well!

At work people are consistently surprised when I say I am 40, which is nice!

Same for me with work colleagues @ASGIRC!😂 Gotta take those little wins!

@Misty84 maybe we’re just age deluded 🤪. I’m sure I’ll start looking older if I do have a kid lol.

Don’t speak too soon, I’m sat here worrying about lack of symptoms. I’d like to keep having this variety of conversation 🫠

I just googled it and apparently Harmony test will tell you at about 10-12 weeks and we’ll definitely be having those with us being 40/42. Our embryo was euploid but who knows, I like to be as certain as I can be that I know what we’re dealing with.

@ASGIRC I also get the surprised things but I’ve started to worry they’re being polite lmao. Not been IDed for booze in a couple of years, sadly.

@thislittlebird Haha yes probably NOT having kids has kept us young so far!
My symptoms come and go if that’s any reassurance x

@Misty84 I do think that might be the trick!

It’s just weird because they’ve been there every day and just not very much going on today. Hoping it all returns tomorrow and I can breathe that I’ve made it to 6w.