On the edge of having an abortion due to hyperemesis

[inquisitiveinga]

Hi everyone,

Apologies for not replying in another thread I made, I've been in and out of hospital and life has become very blurry.

I'm 8 weeks with my second HG pregnancy and wish I could knock on deaths door and plead with the devil to get this over and done with. I'm on ondansetron and cyclizine but the nausea is still rife and giving me shear hell. I've been hospitalised and given IV fluids and anti emetics but I can feel myself getting back to that level of awfulness again.

I've rang BPAS twice and had a councilling session today. I have an appointment with the nurse tomorrow to talk it through to it's finality and I'm now pretty sure I just want it all to end. I've got a 5 year old who is just stuck infront of the TV when he's home from school and a partner who is burnt out and understandably so.

Equally I have this part of me that just wants something to pull me through this.

Any advice/kind thoughts will be greatly appreciated

I didn't have HG, I could keep liquid down, but I was still unwell and lost over a stone. I didn't get back up to my prepregnancy weight until I was in my third trimester. Within a couple of days I was swearing I would never get pregnant again. I can't imagine what you're going through being so much worse. I cry when I think of baby being an only child, but I also cry when I think about being pregnant again!

Of course you want it to stop, anyone would. But unfortunately you're likely to have it every single pregnancy so I guess you need to decide if you're happy with one child or worth sticking it out. If you're one of the 'lucky' ones where you get it from 6-12 weeks before it starts to get better, you're already a third of the way through the worst of it. I hope you feel better!

Ultimately you are going through something really god awful and no one would blame you for wanting to stop and not put yourself through it again, but really try and think if you're going to regret it once you are feeling better to only put yourself through it all again.

I had HG with my 1st to about 26 wks before it eased. No 2 ways about it, it was awful and I considered termination many times but stuck through. I got pregnant a couple years later and it hit me from week 4. Absolutely devastated me- completely bedridden and constantly vomited for 4 consecutive days before being hospitalised for 3 days. It never let up and I was vomitting in my sleep- when I essentially passed out from exhaustion. I couldn't continue and later terminated at 9 wks on (unofficial) advised from my midwife and consultant. I'm too scared to try again tbh, I am sad I couldn't stick through it and I do wonder a lot but I certainly don't feel guilty or anything and know it was the only decision I could have made at that time.
What ever you decide it will the best decision for you and your family.

You poor thing OP. It's awful. I didn't have actual HG but I was very unwell all through my third pregnancy. You feel like it will never end and I actually felt my children were totally neglected while I was minding them. Still to this day there are certain theme tunes from kids tv or afternoon telly that makes me feel nauseous when I hear them as they bring back memories or lying on the couch feeling like I was dying. I remember having to cancel a swim camp for my DD at the Halloween mid term break as no way could I have managed to go into a hot changing room. BUT I will say my children remember it differently and aren't traumatised from it so don't feel guilty about your DC. If you DO want another child and if this was a planned pregnancy then I'd try to continue with it but be kind to yourself and accept normality is in hold for a while.

So sorry to hear this- one thing worth mentioning (I went through the same and considered terminating too) was that the doctor said it's likely the sickness will last for weeks longer even after the pregnancy is over due to the hormones. So, for me, it was a case of feel like this for 8 more weeks and have a baby or feel like this for more weeks and have no baby. I'm glad I'm stuck it out.

I had HG in both my pregnancies, and seriously considered a termination in my second pregnancy. I think it was almost worse the second time round (mentally) because I knew what the relentless weeks of sickness would feel like.

For me the deciding factor was that I really wanted a second child. I knew I'd always want another child, so if I terminated I'd have to do it all over again and I'd probably have HG again. I'd already 'invested' several weeks of sickness so far, so I might as well see it through.

But I knew the sickness (for me) would go at 16-18 weeks. It was truly awful though and I'd never judge someone who decided to terminate because of HG.

I suffered with sickness morning,noon,night and day with all of my pregnancies,it didn't abate and it was hell and I didn't have HG.

Only you can decide what's best for you;did you have HG in your first pregnancy?

Currently suffering HG myself at the minute at 32 weeks, didn’t want to read and run as I know exactly how you’re feeling and thinking right now and I have been there countless times this pregnancy.
I have no advice but wanted to offer a handhold and virtual hug as this awful condition really does put you in places you never thought would be possible. Whatever decision you choose, it’s the right one for you and your physical and mental health.
What i will say is that it does get better as time goes on and those first few months are by far the worst, but everyone’s experience is different and only you will know what the best decision for you is x

I'd ask for a ppi like losec , I tried all the hg meds and they did nothing. I actually gave my self a whip lash type injury from vomiting so much and the losec really helped. It didn't cure it but it definitely made life more bearable.

Thanks for all of the supportive messages ladies. I am clinging on and also telling myself it WILL NOT last forever, but my goodness it is difficult. I think the power of the mind in situations like this really comes into play.

Wow I could’ve written this word for word. I’m 11 weeks now, had 2 terminations booked, begged, pleaded, cried to my partner. House is a wreck, have a 4 year old, can’t keep up with anything, can’t sleep because of the sickness so I’m constantly exhausted. I’m allergic to cyclizine and metochlopramide (wrong spelling). Miserable. But I’ve held on this long and praying it eases off soon. Had HG with DS who’s 4 and was born a low birth weight at 37 weeks. In and out of hospital (7 stunts so far) but I have a very supportive team. I’m under permi mental health and on sub cut ondansetron so I’m injected 3x daily in the outpatient department and will soon have it at home. Is this possible for you? I couldn’t keep the tablets down making me worse. I wish I could offer you more advice and support but it’s dreadful. Have you spoken to pregnancy sickness support? You can be allocated peers through WhatsApp who have been there and done it, they offered me loads of advice and support. I was almost moved onto steroids when I lost more weight, could this be an option for you? It comes with side effects, but I think they far outweigh the misery.

sending lots of love your way. Your not alone x

Sorry not had time to read all responses as in school run but your post resonated with me. Have you heard of pregnancy sickness support? I am 16 weeks in to my second HG pregnancy (first one I had HG all the way up - vomiting broke my waters in the end) and have a 5 year old in tow.
I've been whatsapping the volunteers on PSS and they are fantastic. So knowledgeable but also have counselling and clinicians available.
Sending big, big hugs to you. It truly is horrific. I know it's not much comfort to say it will pass, as it feels like a lifetime. The only comfort I found was knowing others have felt the same xx

My second bout of HG was significantly shorter than my first if it's any consolation- 3 months vs 7.5. If you can muster up any kind of energy to hold on, do it. It's your decision though.

I had a termination due to hg, I was vomiting 40+ times a day and hospitalised over and over again. I was seen by a registrar who told me I was doing it to myself because " all you need to do is drink more water". He more than halved my medication and put it on my notes that I was bringing it on myself. I thought I was going to die and I had a 2 year old already so I had a termination. I've needed a lot of therapy to get past it, I was in a deep depression for over 2 years over it as it was a much wanted baby. I'm not saying don't get a termination but please really think about it, it's such a hard thing to do out of illness but it's also completely understandable. No judgements but all the best in whatever you decide.

Hey OP,

Im just wondering how you’re getting on?
I’m currently 10 weeks and could have written this myself, im laid in a hospital bed as I type after a full night of meds and fluids and still feel slightly nauseous albeit a lot better than I did. But the fear of it coming back strongly is really hard to move past.

Hey H,

First of all, I'm sending you the biggest hug in the world (I know it would make you vomit but nevertheless!).

It's absolutely bloody awful and it feels like it'll never end, and I get that it doesn't help when people say it will because at this moment in time, I know you want it JUST TO STOP this very minute (let alone in a few months).

All I can say though is I'm thinking of you, as soon as I saw your comment I had to respond (sorry its still late!). You can do this, this is a test sent by the universe and you've got it. From having my first with HG I can promise you that it's so, so worth it although it really doesn't feel like it right now.

I'm now 18 weeks and have just started feeling baby. I'm a teacher and was having a rough day when suddenly flutter flutter. It honestly made it all worth it. I'm still sick regularly/on myself in the car on the way home from school (much to my son's horror). However, I am managing... I'm still on medication and although I'm not convinced it's helping much it's a good back up/placebo affect for if and when you're finding yourself down vomit Street.

Here if you need a listening ear. X

sorry I think I posted this in the wrong place!

That's OK!

Just to add, if anyone comes across this post in the future... I'm now lying next to my 3 month old baby girl. Every ounce of vomit was worth it. 💕

I was reading this and about to send support and solidarity and then got to the end!

amazing - well done you for getting through what I know will have been hell.

your post will no doubt help many others too x

How wonderful. Congratulations!!

I didn't have HG but I was very, very sick with my (only) daughter. She drained me.

All my boys had adorable pet names in my pregnancy and my daughter was 'the leech' 😅 as she just sucked all my energy away.

You have my sympathy. I've had two HG pregnancies and used to wish I'd miscarry every day. The second time round when you already have a little one to care for is unbelievably difficult.
You have to do what's right for you but try to remember in the grand scheme of things it's such a short period of time in your life (I know it really won't feel like it now)

There was a horrific case of a lady who ended her life due to HG, I think her name was Jessica Cronshaw. I think there’s a charity that supports HG sufferers, you might already know, but I wonder if they can offer you any support with your decision?

Oh, I’m sorry, I’ve just seen the happy update, well done op and congratulations!

What a fantastic update! Congratulations

I totally feel your pain. I had it with my first the whole way through and it was horrific. Medication did nothing and hospitalised for a huge proportion of my pregnancy. Pregnant again when my daughter was 3 and it was the same. I remember laying on the toilet floor reading a book as I couldn’t get up or move far from the toilet. I seriously considered an abortion and ended up having a MMC at 13 weeks. I feel guilt over my thought of abortion and also the relief when I had the miscarriage, but no regrets of only having one child now.

Oops I didn’t see this was an old post! Congratulations!