Anyone regret not doing NCT?

[potatowaffle27]

Hi All,

I'm a FTM, due in November. DH and I are dithering about whether to sign up for NCT classes. The general consensus from friends we've spoken to is that the information given on the course is readily available from other sources, but that the social group it provides is the main reason for doing it.
If the classes were a reasonable price, we would sign up with no more questions, but the courses in our area cost £369! Almost £400 seems a really steep price to pay in the hope you will make some friends...
Most of our family and friends are within an hour of us, but we only know a handful of people in our immediate area. I'd hoped that I could avoid shelling out for NCT and could make friends at baby groups after the birth if I felt isolated, but having read other threads on here, it sounds like if you don't get in the NCT cliques from the start, you may end up being excluded at those classes anyway...

Did anyone make the decision to skip NCT and really regret it?

I should add that we are already signed up to do a free prenatal class at our local hospital, so we've got the information side of things covered.

Thanks in advance!

I did it and agree with your friends. I didn't find the course massively helpful but I did enjoy the friends I made. 3 years down the line I see one of them often, a few of them sparsely and one not at all. The thing with the course is they really encourage you to join a WhatsApp group and make those connections where sometimes when you go to a group it can be tricky to say to someone what's your number let's meet up. I found when I did classes you chat with people but it often doesn't go much further. Having said that £400 is a lot of money to make friends and I'm sure there are other ways to do it. Have you tried the peanut app?

Nope never did it and never regretted it- did a free nhs class on birth and one on bf and it was plenty- weeks of classes seems overkill. I didn’t really feel the need to try and make friends with people either, let that happen naturally at baby clubs/ nursery/ school.

My baby is 2 months old now and I didn't sign up for any NCT classes. My hospital didn't run any antenatal classes either. I'm in my 20s and a FTM and the most recent person I know to give birth is my own mum! I read baby books, used my own instincts and asked my mum questions. A few hours after giving birth I was taken to a maternity ward where I had to fend for myself (it was night time). I didn't even know how to pick up a newborn from a cot! Things worked out OK though and my dd is thriving. You'll be fine 😊

I had never heard of it before I was pregnant and when I did hear about it I couldn't quite understand what is was and why you had to pay for it when medical stuff pre birth was provided free with NHS classes (preparing for birth and breast feeding).
When my daughter was born I did the Health Visitor run "New Mums" group (free) and when a few months older Stay and Play groups (free), Rhyme Time at library (non compulsory £1 fee).

I did it and wish I hadn't. I didn't learn anything new and was judged because I didn't want an unassisted birth in the ocean complete with dolphins or to breastfeed until DC was 16.

Total waste of money.

We did it. Most of the time I'd rather have gone to bed! Haven't really stayed in touch with the people.

Went through vaginal birth in great detail which I think made me feel worse when I ended up having CS, and gave the impression you could somehow control how it all went.

If I had my time again, I wouldn't bother. The positive birth company course is good.

I recently gave birth and the NHS had zero antenatal classes. Midwives said the trust had stopped them.

If you do it, it's worth checking how big the catchment area is - a factor in mine not keeping in touch was that were spread quite far and wide. People I know who lived near each other found it much more useful.

I didn’t join, and I have found mat leave very lonely. But on the other hand, I wasn’t willing to pay £400 for friends, and I wasn’t able to go at 7:30pm-9pm which was the only time our classes were locally. I was asleep by 7pm during pregnancy, I was absolutely exhausted!

I did NCT classes and also the antenatal classes at my GP's surgery. I made friends at both groups but clicked more with the NCT mums.

Having a group chat with people going through the same thing at the same time was invaluable to me.

However, NCT have an agenda and they did terrify us beforehand with telling us to avoid induction, forceps, formula feeding, epidurals etc and keeping it natural. The anxiety it caused was awful and I could have done without that tbh.

It was too expensive for me, I wrote to my MP to get it reinstated on the NHS, as the cut the service during covid.

it's super sad... I will write to my MP again and hopefully my women's charities to get it reinstated on the NHS

If you plan to breastfeed and / or have a vaginal birth it’s invaluable. If not then I’m not sure whether it’s worth the money as bottle feeding instructions / nappy changing etc can easily be googled.

I didn’t do it and regretted it as I was very lonely. I thought I’d make friends at groups but it was hard when everyone knew each other.

I did it, and the course was great, but as a group we met up once with babies and that was it. We didn't really gel I guess, and we didn't live close enough to bother seeing each other again.

Did it with the first, regretted it. I think I got unlucky. Bunch of overachieving middle class mums who were super competitive about breastfeeding. Found my tribe second time around at baby clubs.

Really good point

We did it. The info in the class itself was useless but the friends we made were invaluable. Babies are just turning two now and we still meet up often and have an active group chat. My maternity leave would have been incredibly lonely and shit without them.

Maybe because it's an area where most people do go to NCT classes, I didn't make any friends at baby groups despite being totally open and willing to. Whereas at baby groups, a lot of people turned up with ready made NCT friends.

Well I regretted wasting the money. The group didn’t become friends of mine for various reasons (different ages and stages to me and they lived in a different area) so it’s a lot of money to spend if you don’t think you need to!

I made many more friends at groups / playgrounds / nursery / schools / local area. Just depends on luck of the drawer I think.

I did NCT and made a couple of good friends I was so glad to have in the early months (and now, over 3 years on) The course was okay.

I’ve gone to a few regular baby, then toddler groups and I’ve never moved past the friendly acquaintance stage despite seeing the same faces week in week out. Maybe if I pushed it more it could progress to proper friendship and being in a city maybe doesn’t help. But I haven’t fallen into firm friendships through groups I have to say.

Also to add: I had a planned maternal choice c-section and planned to formula feed before I was even pregnant. I didn't feel like the classes were preachy about "natural birth" and even the breastfeeding session still contained some good information about formula feeding.

We never did and didn't regret it as didn't need to make parent friends (had them already) and were happy reading up on everything we felt we needed to know. However, my DB and his wife went to them and found that the content wasn't any good but did find the instant parent friend group it gave them helpful. So depends what you want out of it.

I don't know what NCT is but I'd definitely be saving the almost £400!

I have a few mum friends after 2 babies. Not many, I will admit. It's mostly people i get on with who also happened to have babies. I tried to chat to another mum outside preschool today, and I was so hopeless. 🙃 I don't think there is a course that can fix that!

I had a planned c-section, but I still found NCT really helpful. They did a good-sized chunk on what to expect for each type of birth.
One particularly helpful element was that they explained it all to the birth partners. DH is great but he wasn't reading up on what happens beforehand as I was, and it was a real eye-opener for him, explaining his role as an advocate for me and our baby if I wasn't able to speak up for myself. The breastfeeding advice was great, and they supported us afterwards when DC had a tongue tie.
It's very much a bubble. Everyone there was middle class, in their 30s or 40s, financially stable etc. as you'd expect with an expensive course. So only really worth doing if you want a friendship group like that.
We kept in touch afterwards and the WhatsApp chat groups for me and DH were invaluable.
TLDR: it is useful, but only if you want a certain friendship or support group. It's not a cross-section of society.