Anyone regret not doing NCT?

[potatowaffle27]

Hi All,

I'm a FTM, due in November. DH and I are dithering about whether to sign up for NCT classes. The general consensus from friends we've spoken to is that the information given on the course is readily available from other sources, but that the social group it provides is the main reason for doing it.
If the classes were a reasonable price, we would sign up with no more questions, but the courses in our area cost £369! Almost £400 seems a really steep price to pay in the hope you will make some friends...
Most of our family and friends are within an hour of us, but we only know a handful of people in our immediate area. I'd hoped that I could avoid shelling out for NCT and could make friends at baby groups after the birth if I felt isolated, but having read other threads on here, it sounds like if you don't get in the NCT cliques from the start, you may end up being excluded at those classes anyway...

Did anyone make the decision to skip NCT and really regret it?

I should add that we are already signed up to do a free prenatal class at our local hospital, so we've got the information side of things covered.

Thanks in advance!

We did and wished we didn’t. The group didn’t really gel so we’ve met up once and that’s it and the WhatsApp group is silent. If you live in a city and it’s all people from that city it might work, but we’re all spread out across 30 miles and what you really need in the early days are people close by.

The info is easily available online and it wasn’t presented in the most neutral way by NCT.

My local NCT class was booked up by the time I decided to enrol. So don't wait too long with your decision making :)

I did a hypnobirthing course instead, which was a lot cheaper (<£100 for 6x 2hour sessions) and informative although the teacher was quite self righteous and based a lot of the teaching on the fact that she'd had 3 low risk, uncomplicated vaginal births and went overdue to almost 43 weeks with her 3rd... didn't paint a very representative picture to a group of first time mothers !!

It was worthwhile attending though for the friendships made. Would definitely reccomend some sort of birth prep class but the NCT does sound v expensive, there'll be cheaper equivalents out there.

I'm doing the free nhs one and I'm going to put the £300+ into baby's savings account.

My plan at the end of the session is to ask for numbers to set up a WhatsApp group.

I didn't do it. As you say you can find all the information elsewhere. I wasn't interested in the friends aspect as we were planning on moving. No regrets at all. A friend did it and her nct crowd all seemed to be irritatingly competitive about their babies' development.

I did join the MN thread for my baby's due date. That was great and then about 70 of us formed a group on Facebook. That is still pretty active and our "babies" are 9. It was great to have my online buddies to chat to during the night feeds. Some of us have met in person over the years too.

I did not do it either time, I watched a YouTube video instead 😅

Thanks so much for all of this advice, ladies!
I feel very silly that it didn't even occur to me to look for alternative companies providing the same thing for a cheaper price. I've had a look now and there are a few in our area, but it looks like everything might be booked up already - oops!
I'll keep looking but I'm feeling very reassured by everyone who didn't do the classes and didn't regret it. I like the idea of asking for numbers after the NHS class and setting up a WhatsApp group from that. I think that will be a great back up option and if nobody gels or it all fizzles out, nothing has been lost.

Thanks, all!

I did nct and it was good - especially to discuss feelings and to actual make the time
To learn those things that you might not get round to reading.

I did it in the area I was planning to move to and then didn't move so I have a great WhatsApp group with those parents but don't see them! Tbh it's in the countryside I don't think they see each other all that much as they all live 20 min drive from each other.

I am a friendly outgoing person so I have made some mum friends via baby massage and baby fitness classes and also I hijacked someone from my pregnancy yoga local nct group - you can join a new group if you're super friendly.

I didn’t do it either time. Firstly due to the cost, secondly I didn’t feel like I needed to make ‘mum friends.’ My old friends still did just fine.

I took both DS to loads of local free baby groups (and a couple that you had to pay for, eg £60 for 10 classes) and they got socialisation and a change of scenery and I have made a couple of acquaintances through it and we get the babies together occasionally.

I don’t feel like I missed anything, it sounds like my idea of hell honestly but everyone is different. My best friend did an NCT and made some great friends through it but she is sociable like that.

We did a local non-NCT one. First child is now in year 10 and we're still good friends with 2 of the other couples.

When I had my baby the NCT groups were still all online and I couldn’t justify paying to attend an online course when I was already doing free online zoom groups/classes. But I think it would have been nice to meet other mums as the zoom groups/classes that I did had no opportunity to get to know each other/meet up/ and they didn’t continue after birth 🤷‍♀️
My little boy is 2 years old now and I’ve met 2 other mums through baby classes (one when he was around 4/5 months old and another when he was 8/9/10ish months) but we started baby classes at 3 weeks old so there’s definitely no guarantee of it happening quickly but then I guess there’s no guarantee of you clicking with any of the NCT mums either 🤷‍♀️

I'm half way through my course now and finding it really useful. Think that's more down to the woman running our course though, who's a retired midwife and has spent a lot of time helping me unpick the NHS and Nct advice to make decisions, as I have quite a complex pregnancy. I've also met another mum with a similar condition which has been super helpful

For those of you who made friends with your group, how did you get things going? We all get on and chat really well at the classes so want to try and keep it going beyond that, because I don't really have many local friends

I regretted not doing it. A lot of people I knew made a lovely friendship group and I wish I had that. However this can be really dependent on the luck of the group you are in so it's a risk as it might not turn out that way.

I didn't. No regrets ;)

We did Bump and Baby which was cheaper, and of the 10 couples that started out we are in a group of 4 who see each other a lot and they have become good friends.

As per PP, the geography seemed to matter a lot. The 4 that I'm in touch with are all walking distance from me, and the other 6 couples didn't live in our town. Even just a 10 min drive seemed to be a huge barrier in the early days.

If you don't do a pre baby class but are looking for friends, I think you have to be quite confident about putting yourself out there once the babies arrive. I have met some other mums through classes but they definitely feel more like acquaintances I see out and about, than friends I would text for a meet up. I also am a bit shy and went to some classes where I didn't say a word to anyone. It can be hard to psych yourself up to have a chat with people when you've had a rough night or your baby's on a mad one.

So I don't think it's a must to do nct/similar, and it's a massive gamble anyway as you might not click with anyone. But if making friends is the aim, then I do think some form of pre-baby group is better than waiting til the baby is here.

Didn't even consider it. I have plenty of mum friends.

No and no regrets.

I had serious post natal depression and anxiety which required psychiatric care. I met a close mum friend as an out patient at the mother and baby unit.

I don't think NCT would have been right for me, but that couldn't have been predicted. I do wish we'd done some decent classes though. The NHS ones were shite.

I regret not doing it!

I decided not to because I didn't have time, knew the NHS one would cover the stuff I needed to know, and I saw NCT as just a way of buying "people like this us" friends. Which it basically is.

Then when I went to baby groups when DS was a month old, everyone else arrived in their NCT posses, chatted to them, and then went off to lunch with them, without mixing with anyone else. I still made great friends but it took longer than I thought.

Basically if there was no NCT you wouldn't need NCT, but since there is you do. Unless you already have lots of local friends with new babies, in which case no need to bother.

Well, I still have solid friends I made at NCT 26 years ago! And I found it the post natal meet ups a godsend in the first 6 months particularly. But that is staggeringly expensive- I don't remember cost being a consideration back in the day. And it does all depend on the group. Sorry, I'm
Not helping, am I?

We did bump to baby for £260 I think it was. We thought it was really good and was midwife led. We met lovely couples and have a what's app and share advice etc.
We are all planning to have a meet up with our babies soon. I actually found the content in these classes useful and they also do first aid and give you a hypnobirthing online content also.
If the classes are not for you, I also met a few mums to be on Peanut app and meet up regularly with them. I'm going to my first baby sensory class next week with one of the women I met on Peanut so there are a few options to meet people ☺️

I went and hated it. Lots of discussion on drug free birth (I was having an early epidural), breast feeding (I had decided to use formula) and being your baby’s main caregiver (I went back to full time work after six months).
I wasn’t looking for friends with babies so the social side didn’t matter

I did NCT and don't regret it. I made two amazing friends, one of whom I now consider to be my bestie. Both our kids have SEND and we have been through thick and thin together over a 10 year period.

That said, NCT is a lottery. You are effectively lumped together with a bunch of other people and the only thing you have in common is geographical location and the fact you are pregnant and due around the same time. I know quite a few people who didn't gel with their NCT cohort (or found their cohort broke up and fragmented within a couple of months of giving birth.) There is just no way of knowing tbh....

I found NCT incredibly patronising.

I wanted to run out the room when they started getting adults to play with
dolls and give them childlike instructions with regards to how to bath a baby or put a nappy on them.

So, so cringy and insulting.

I didn't do it and didn't regret it. I already had lots of friends who were parents, and I don't really see the appeal of having a group of same aged friends prior to school.

I did it and loved it. I also loved the postnatal clubs they run in my area.

I liked that NCT is very strongly evidenced based and so told you the facts about all types of birth and how to use that information to make decisions. There is lots of information online but not everything is evidenced based.

The NCT offer a sliding scale of pricing too so it’s worth asking to see if you are eligible for a discount.

I did it and it was really helpful in the first few months. We met up regularly and WhatsApped during night feeds. After about the first 8 months we didn't do much and after a year there weren't really meet ups etc.