Has anyone COMPLETELY foregone ante-natal treatment?

[expatinscotland]

I reside in a rural area of Western Scotland - Argyll.

Last year, I became pregnant and the treatment was truly appalling - I've had two children in NHS Lothian/Edinburgh.

I suffered a missed miscarriage, and the treatment only made matters worse.

I saw a total of about 8 different midwives at the two hospitals where women in this area have a choice of giving birth and every one of them were horrible.

My own GP even said he hates crossing paths with the midwives here.

Now I am pregnant again, and tbh, I'd get better, more compassionate treatment from most jakeys I've met in pubs around here.

Has anyone just not told their surgery they were pregnant at all?

The game plan is to have a private scan in Edinburgh at 8 weeks and 20 weeks - no GP referral required at one clinic I've checked with there.

Then to go and stay with my SIL in Edinburgh at 37 weeks until the baby's born.

I'll just go to my old surgery as soon as I get there (DH won't be able to join me straightaway because of work and DD1's being in school, so I'll have SIL and MIL as company during the birth) and give birth at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary.

I'm 37 and this is my fifth pregnancy (I've had two miscarriages in the past).

If anything starting going wrong with this pregnancy, I'd as soon take my life in my hands and drive through to Glasgow than set foot in Inverclyde Hospital (I've lodged a formal complaint against them) or Royal Alexandra.

I don't think so, Bram, I mean, you can't really make an appointment to see how the maternity care works, I don't think.

I have slight concerns because whilst pregnant with the girls I had truly alarming oedema and elevated blood pressure - no pre-eclampsia, however. And with Dd2 I had anaemia which wasn't much fun.

But the deliveries were fine. Well, I had forceps with DD1 but that was solely due to her position. DD2 went off drug free and I'd be willing to try G&A again and at home.

Hmmm. I just know that because I had had a bad time with DD1, I went to the doctor before trying to concieve DD2 to say "hello this is me, I will be trying to get pregnant soon, these are my health problems, this is the hospital I would like to deliver at, this is what I will need" etc.

You can find out options for care either with appointment with GP or midwife.

You could ring the number I posted earlier even though you don't think you are close enough - you might be.

Women can choose their lead professional whether it be consultant care, midwife or GP. Only problem with GP is that many (not all) have opted out of maternity care.

You are certainly entitled to find out what the options are so you can choose one.

i had both of mine in ayrshire, no problems with any part of my care

i think your labour plan - going to stay with sil - is good, and getting private scans are fine.

i'd be concerned that you're not getting your monthly checkups. is there any way your gp will do this for you?

I really don't think my GP does maternity care anymore.

But like I said I'm not bothering to find out till after 8 week scan because my foetus was long dead by then.

I'm actually looking forward to going back to Edinburgh for the birth. Not about being away from DD1 - I'll have DD2 with me.

But hopefully it won't be too long as I've given birth at 38 weeks + 6 days and 38 weeks + 2 days respectively.

soupdragon - how did you cheat your way through urine tests? do you mean you took in someone elses?

oh just found your post explaining it. must have missed it the first time around!

the way it works when you opt to go private is that your gp refers you to an nhs hospital, but then you book yourself into a private one and tell your gp that's what you've done.

also- i know people who have gone to other countries to deliver their babies (leaving uk at 36 weeks or so)/

what you are planning to do doesn't sound too different from either... i guess what i am saying is- talk to your gp, tell him you've got the birth sorted and a good arrangement with in laws in edinburgh and private antenatal scans etc, and that you don't want to have to deal with mws because of appalling experiences which left you traumatised and pied off, but you would still like to have regular bp/urine checks. i would be extremely surprised if they didn't accomodate you..

good luck, and congrats!

I think good on you. Millions of women have babies perfectly fine without any care (I know, bla bla!) even in 'civilised' countries!

You are making the decision that best fits you and taking yourself out of situations where you might be bullied/pressured.

You've had babies so you know the drill and what to expect - what's normal for you and what isn't.

Really sad that there is no good care for you though

Update.

The policy in the surgery is for a woman to submit a urine sample, which is then taken to a lab in Greenock - about an hour away by ferry/car to 'confirm the pregnancy'.

Last time, however, they lost my sample. I had to submit another.

No, apparently, taking home pregnancy tests aren't enough. You're so stupid, you could be making it up!

So I phoned them last Wednesday.

I get asked, 'How do you know you're pregnant?'

Gees, I don't know, those two positive tests back in FEBRUARY, two missed periods, chucking my guts up, heartburn, greasy skin, thickening waist. That could be it!

But hey ho.

I submit a sample last Thursday.

Had spotting on Saturday and Sunday.

No pain, except in my ovaries.

So I phone them up on Tuesday, yesterday, as they were closed on Monday.

I get told the lab hasn't come back with my results.

Apparently, you're not intelligent enough to be pregnant until the lab confirms it.

And that when the lab does, the doctor will be in touch.

How nice of them!

I explained that I'd spotted, and that I had missed m/c, as per my records.

They'll call.

It's now going to be Thursday, and I will be 9 weeks pregnant if this is viable.

Have I heard a peep?

Have I f*&^!

Then I'm going to break out the credit card and paying £100 for a private scan in Edinburgh, because I know for a FACT the incompetents in Paisley do abdominal scans on women in early pregnancy - not vaginal ones unless they can't see anything.

After that, bollocks to it.

I'll go through to Edinburgh for another 20 weeks scan.

Other than that, I've had enough of their mishandling to put up with it.

It stresses me out to more end and gives me panic attacks.

expat congratulations expat on expecting, when i was 17 i got pregnant to my dh ,and i was too scared to tell anyone,i never went to doctors till 8and half months gone, i had one appointment at hospital, dd was born 2 week later weighing 8lb 4 , with next 2 pregancys i had ante natal care at local gps and just went to hospital to deliver, my first pregnancy was the easiest and born after 2 hours in labour.good luck im thinking of youxx

After reading your entire thread Expat I am wondering whether I have been a bit precious in my thread moaning about lack of booking in/ scan date etc.

I have at least been given some care (bp, urine tests - mainly as I have had a couple of urine infections and thrush - sorry if tmi)- by the GP. It is the midwifes who have been hard to contact - and I do want midwife led care as I want a homebirth.

You have a sound plan and if your family and hopefully GP support you then it should work out - it is totally wrong that you have been left in this position though. You should not have to pay for scans - so frustrating and plain wrong.

I hope all goes well for you in the next few months.

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i had severe oedema in my last two pregnancies, anaemia in the last one and bp spikes.

i'm 37.

after all my experiences here, however, i have NO trust in the system here, and the latest 'treatment' has only driven that point home.

i can't even get in to speak to a GP or practice nurse.

they don't even know i am pregnant because of course, the lab hasn't confirmed the pregnancy and after a week, i have a strong suspicion my sample has been lost again.

i am worried beyond SICK.

i am fed up of being treated like i'm too stupid to know i am pregnant.

the top of my uterus is HUGE so i'd really like to know what's going on.

but i don't think i have any choice but to go private.

because i want a vaginal scan and even if they sent me from here, they won't give you a vaginal scan in Paisley.

i don't feel like drinking a bunch of water when all i do is vomit and then waiting in a corridor full of pregnant women to not even get a decent f*ckign scan.

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I had spotting on Sat. and Sun. That's the only reason I even phoned them.

Because last time, I had only spotting as well. No bleed and no pain. But it turned out to be a missed m/c.

I think a scan would probably be a good idea in my case, especially because my cycles weren't back to normal after the ERPC.

I had one period, but it was a looonnnggg cycle as was straight after ERPC.

So I'll head back to Edinburgh for that. The Fetal Medical Centre/HealthcareNow there will scan you transvaginally, a viability scan, from 7-11 weeks. That's all I want.

They won't tell you the baby's gender here at the 20 week scan, so we were planning to go private anyhow, as we really want to know the sex this time.

As for the rest, well, the surgery's not going to know I'm pregnant.

They lost the f*cking sample, so technically, I'm not pregnant.

And you have to go through them to get to the midwives.

So I'm getting some Spatone and dusting off the BP monitor.

Either going back to the US at 32 weeks - the latest I can fly - or Edinburgh at 36 weeks.

Haven't decided which, probably Edinburgh as then I can wait to do all the passport stuff and DD1 has a fortnight break right about my 36-38 week mark.

I'd leave it later, but I had DD1 at 38+6 and DD2 at 38+2.