When did you tell people you were pregnant?

[Chaoscontrol]

Hi 😊 I am 6 weeks pregnant and desperate to share my news but so horrifically anxious at the same time.

I got pregnant for the first time and had very early loss last November, I have passed my loss week this time round and my tests are so so strong, dye stealers since day of missed period, my symptoms are consistent and so different from last time round so I'm really positive. I have booked a private scan for 7 weeks so hopefully will have something to show people..

But when did you tell people?

My husband says the more people you tell now, the bigger the support system, and I get that, but I see it as bigger the heartbreak if my body fails me again.

Any advice would be great 🤍 Thank you 👼🏻

I think it's a very personal choice . I waited until 12 weeks as the chances of miscarriage then are much lower and I'm also quite a private person. If the worst was to happen I wouldn't want everyone asking if I was ok.

Hi @Chaoscontrol
Congratulations hun!
I told my family as soon as i found out. I told my colleagues / work when i was about 14 weeks.
Enjoy your pregnancy, yay! xx

19 weeks.

I told friends/family that I would want support from if a miscarriage happened around 6-7 weeks. Told most other people at 14 weeks.

Work knew around 8 weeks as I was very green around the gills and needed extra breaks!

I don’t like a fuss, so I told most people at 20 weeks which is when I started to show.

With my second, I managed to not tell my 3 year old until I was 37 weeks!

Personal choice. Management at work had to know from test due to job so I could be excused from certain duties. Told immediate family at around 10 weeks after private scan as we had a couple of funerals and I was really unwell so difficult to hide. Wider family told around 16 weeks. Wider work from about week 20. No announcement, just telling people I see so there are lots of people we don't see that still don't know. Tbh at almost 28 weeks it pretty much announces itself now 😂

First - apart from a few close family members we told most people at 20 weeks. Second - we told most at 12 weeks.

Do what feels right for you!

First time - 12 weeks, second time 20 weeks

My first baby I told my family, close friends and management at 6 weeks.
I shared with wider circle of family, friends and colleagues at 12 weeks.

Second time around I’ve told my parents, in laws, management and a select couple of friends. Just feeling more anxious about it this time .

Congratulations! Told my mum at 15 weeks and others from 16 weeks. Prior to that had been through four rounds of fertility treatment without telling anyone (except for lovely people on the fertility boards here on MN).

My first pregnancy I didn't tell anyone until 16 weeks (coincided with Christmas) then I told my close family about my next pregnancy at 6 weeks as it was my sister's hen! And extended family at 11 weeks, but I lost that baby at 10+6. I'm now nearly 8 weeks and have only told my partner lol, I am kind of going by telling people I'd be comfortable telling if I lost the baby... I'm finding it hard to say the words I'm pregnant outloud through the anxiety of loss so waiting for 12 week scan to tell my close family and then will potentially wait until 20 weeks to tell my extended family. I'm also waiting until 20 weeks (or as long as I can hide it) before telling my son (he's 5) because he was absolutely heartbroken when we lost the last baby, he still has the scan picture on his toy fridge and I just couldn't bare putting him through it again xx

Hi OP, this is a very personal decision, as others have said. No right or wrong.

I'm currently 34 weeks pregnant with my first and I told my close family and best friends at around 4-5 weeks, shortly after finding out. We were cautious in saying 'it's very early, things might still go wrong, etc' but I was too excited to keep it a secret, especially from my parents and DH's parents. It was great to be able to share doubts and silly questions with them those first few weeks when everything is all so new. And if things went wrong, I'm sure their support would've been invaluable. But even in first trimester the odds of things going well are much higher than things going wrong.

I told work at around 8 weeks because there were some changes in senior management so it made sense for me to be open so we could plan it properly. I also figured if I miscarried then, my team would have to know as I'd need time off so why hide it.

There's still a lot of stigma around miscarriage and I feel strongly that if we're able to be open about it, it helps to remove the shame so many women still feel and hopefully make us all feel less alone if/when we go through it.

Like others have said, it's such a personal decision!

I had an early miscarriage in January 22 at 7 weeks. I'd told lots of people - family, friends, work - and having their support was invaluable.

When I found I was pregnant again in March, we told our close family members as soon as we had the positive test. I wanted any support to be immediate and felt like I needed that reassurance.

I told my closest 2 friends after we passed the 8 week mark (I also had a private scan) and I told work then because I couldn't stop throwing up!

I then told wider family after the 12 week scan. I haven't done any big announcement on social media because I know how painful I found that after my miscarriage.

Totally personal. The 12 week thing is very English imo.

First time waited until 12, had a MMC, it shouldn't be taboo.

Second time around told close friends and family that it was twins at seven weeks.

As others said, it's a very personal choice and there is no wrong or right answer. When I got pregnant in March I was very impatient to tell the world and waited for my 7 week scan to tell our parents. They were so excited. 2 weeks later at the 9 week scan, we sadly found out that baby passed at 8 weeks. It was just a terrible shock but it was also so sad to crush everyone's happiness because my body failed me. I found out I was pregnant again in July and I am now nearly 11 weeks and have had 2 scans but this time we told no one and will wait for as long as we can and be sure that all is well with the baby.
Do whatever feels right for you.

3 months in.

@cocksstrideintheevening

Totally personal. The 12 week thing is very English imo.

Told our parents at about 6 weeks. Told siblings at 14 weeks. Asked them all to keep it to themselves until 20 weeks. We didn't go round announcing after that. Just got on with it.

First pregnancy told my boss at 6 weeks (needed some adjustments at work). Told my parents at 14 weeks as they had been travelling and I wanted to tell them in person. Everyone else shortly after.

Second pregnancy told my parents at 8 weeks. Work at 11 weeks - turned out we were expecting twins and would need extra appointments so lots of time off work.

Third pregnancy didn't tell parents till 18 weeks (again, travelling, and I also had some concerns so didn't tell them before scan). Didn't tell work till 21 weeks for reasons relating to my pay/contract. Had ended up making things rather complicated for them to sort cover! Several friends were looking suspiciously at me at 18 weeks or so...

It's a very personal thing. Do whatever you at comfortable with. I share gender/names very early, which some people are superstitious about. Talk to DP and don't feel there is a right/wrong about this.

1st - told at 12 weeks
2nd - mc at 8 weeks so never told
3rd - told at 12 weeks but mc at 18 weeks
4th - told at 23 weeks

With my first I didn't tell anyone till after the 12 week scan. With my second I told my line manager at about 8 weeks as I needed to avoid certain work duties, but otherwise again told no one until after the 12 week scan (which annoyingly was actually more like 13+6).

i told parents and a few friends when I was 8-9 weeks as I was seeing them in person and going to a festival. I then had a loss at 11 weeks. I actually felt like it was less awkward to then tell them about the miscarriage, and I appreciated the support

It's up to you, gently I don't think it matters what any of us say. Personally I didn't want anyone to know either time until my 12 week scan and the screening test results were back. However I felt forced to tell my DPs and siblings and work both times around week 7 ish because I had bee bed bound for a week by then with hypermesis. I had to tell work cos of the sick note and I had to tell my DPs and siblings as we all live close to each other and see a lot of each other so I had to give them an explanation as to why I was going to be AWOL or they would have been so worried. Well, the first time. They would have just guessed what was going on the second time tbf.

And please do try and shake the mindset that your body is failing. In the vast majority of case there is a genetic issue with the embryo. Nothing you or anyone can do.

I told my parents at 12 weeks and the colleagues/most friends at 21 weeks after the abnormality scan. I wasn't able to get the measurements at 12 weeks for the combined test (testing for downs etc) so relied on blood test only. I wanted to make sure there were no abnormalities found before sharing.