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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

No one really cares 2nd pregnancy??

40 replies

Bethzx · 23/08/2023 11:57

Anyone else felt like this? Nearly 20w with DD and just feel no one is really excited this time round!

but at this stage with DS everyone was quite excited, had bought a little outfit or so and just seemed generally happy

when I say everyone I mean family! This time round they just don’t seem to care

im unsure if it’s because it’s not the biggest age gap, DS will be just turned 2 before my due date so he’s still young and can’t be excited for a sibling himself!

But yeah is this common with 2nd children? I’m a 2nd child - feeling a bit bad for 2nd kids everywhere!! Haha

OP posts:

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Friggingfrog · 23/08/2023 11:59

Yeah this is very normal

twoontheway23 · 23/08/2023 12:01

Yeah everyone I know who's had their second has said this. I'm pregnant second time round and due soon but I'm having twins this time so that seems to make people a bit more interested! But all my friends who've had second singletons said the same as you, no one seemed as bothered.

emmy4 · 23/08/2023 12:01

Yes, normal I found.

AndrewGarfieldsLaptop · 23/08/2023 12:02

The only people who matters are you and your partner, and Child number one, depending on how old they are. why would you care about what everybody else thinks?

Original poster

Bethzx · 23/08/2023 12:07

@AndrewGarfieldsLaptop I mean me and DH very excited, DS too young to get it and I’m not per se wanting a massive song and dance etc

It’s just something I noticed. And maybe as a 2nd child myself felt. A bit sensitive to it😆

OP posts:

June628 · 23/08/2023 12:07

Totally normal in my experience. That’s not to say it’s a little sad/ disappointing though. I’ve found it sadly catties on once they’re born too 😂

aSofaNearYou · 23/08/2023 12:33

I didn't find this myself but people do talk about it a lot, and yes it does make me sad for second children. A lot of the attitudes people have about children after the first really piss me off tbh, but I was a second child so perhaps am very tuned into it. Any sniff of the oldest child being the golden child really annoys me.

FizzyFlamingo · 23/08/2023 13:03

Yes I think this is definitely a thing! I'm 21 weeks with a boy and most people just don't seem as interested this time (apart from my mum who does seem equally as excited!). With my daughter family wanted copies of scan photos and daily updates on how things were going but there just doesn't seem to be that interest this time around. I get it and it doesn't massively bother me but I have had a few moments of sadness feeling like this baby isn't thought of the same way and then I feel my maternal protectiveness kick in and I'm annoyed /sad for him rather than me (if that makes sense?!) because it's like most of the time it already feels like he's a bit forgotten about. But then I think more rationally and just think it's probably hormones 😂 and I hope once he's here it won't feel that way

Peony654 · 23/08/2023 13:09

Yep seems common - I'm not sure why you're bothered though. It's your and DH child, no one elses.

AndrewGarfieldsLaptop · 23/08/2023 13:11

Bethzx · 23/08/2023 12:07

@AndrewGarfieldsLaptop I mean me and DH very excited, DS too young to get it and I’m not per se wanting a massive song and dance etc

It’s just something I noticed. And maybe as a 2nd child myself felt. A bit sensitive to it😆

My second child was a baby after a stillbirth. I honestly did expect people to be more excited but no one gave a shit really? Ha!

PurBal · 23/08/2023 13:11

Yes. And I think it’s worse if you have a second of the same sex.

Jamtartforme · 23/08/2023 13:12

I just made a thread about this last night, I’m really missing my first pregnancy as it was so exciting compared to my second one (DC2 is now 5 months old). Wish I could recapture some of it, such a special time.

crumblylancs · 23/08/2023 13:13

I'm enjoying the lack of expectation this time round, give me the quiet life any day!

Jamtartforme · 23/08/2023 13:15

Peony654 · 23/08/2023 13:09

Yep seems common - I'm not sure why you're bothered though. It's your and DH child, no one elses.

Right! I mean why even bother with friends and wider family at all? Who cares about births, big birthdays, promotions and all the rest of it. Emotional Puritanism all the way. There’s enough joy in the world to be getting on with, thanks very much. All the smiling and celebrating makes me feel quite ill.

SecondhandSalute · 23/08/2023 13:20

I only have one child, by choice, but I would have said the lack of fuss would have been one of the positives of a second pregnancy?

You know what you’re doing, your body successfully dealt with a previous pregnancy and birth, nothing is as surprising and scary, you’ve already got all the baby equipment and clothes, no one is doing that ‘Oh, you have no idea!’, stuff etc etc.

elliejjtiny · 23/08/2023 13:23

Yes. And the more you have, the less enthusiastic people are. However the unexpected gestures mean so much. Like the lady I knew from mumsnet who sent me a lovely card and some booties for dc5. Or one of the mum's from ds2 class at school who got all the mum's in the class and some of the staff to sign it.

elliejjtiny · 23/08/2023 13:26

Also when I had my 4th, dc1 was 6 and incredibly excited which was really special.

PickledScrump · 23/08/2023 14:36

I don’t think people are particularly interested in any pregnancy. Everyone wants to meet the baby once it’s born and then it goes back to no one is interested

aSofaNearYou · 23/08/2023 14:39

PickledScrump · 23/08/2023 14:36

I don’t think people are particularly interested in any pregnancy. Everyone wants to meet the baby once it’s born and then it goes back to no one is interested

Friends maybe, but family are generally pretty interested!

justanothermanicmonday1 · 23/08/2023 14:43

Very normal. I have a three week old and a 17 month old. I'm glad there wasn't much of a fuss this time as I found it overwhelming the first time around x

OhLookIveChangedMyNameAgain · 23/08/2023 14:53

Yes, it was the same for me.
I remember telling family about my second pregnancy and I might as well have told them I had just brushed my hair. There was no interest from start to finish.

maria2bela1 · 23/08/2023 15:00

Yes! Normal, when baby makes an arrival you'll see people get excited again!

teenysaladandsniffofarose · 23/08/2023 15:06

Completely normal!

Nobody cares I'm pregnant this time round and I'm Kind of relieved to be honest, I cba with the attention like I had when I was pregnant with my son, I found it annoying and exhausting to deal with😂

PetitPorpoise · 23/08/2023 15:08

With your first, you're becoming a mother and your life is changing forever. With a second, it's not as big of a change.

Cowlover89 · 23/08/2023 15:18

I haven't noticed that. My friends and family are excited 🥰 probably helps first was a boy and having a girl now.

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