Womb so thin surgeon could see baby through it - csection

[MSxx]

I had baby number 2 last week and the surgeon asked if we planned to have anymore children. We half did and half didn’t so I was going to be devastated if it was bad news but I still feel a bit robbed that the decision seems to have been taken away from me.

He commented that my womb had been so thin around the scar area that he could fully see the baby before opening it up. He advised that if I want to have more children in future I should have scans etc first to assess the womb but said there is no guarantee of them being able to say if it’s safe to go ahead with a pregnancy as it can be so hard to pick up. If I’d gone into labour it would have been likely that baby would have ruptured through the scar so I’m very thankful that didn’t happen. I’ve done some googling of the outcomes for both mum and baby if this was to happen and they’re terrifying and seems you’d need to be very close to hospital for it to end well for either of you!

Am I mad for not just taking this as a definite no? I just feel a bit gutted that I don’t seem to have the option anymore. Has this happened to anyone else and it’s worked out okay? I’m very lucky to have my two so I will happily cope with that if need be

After my 2nd I was told by my consultant I should be done with my family now as having another one may kill me (after my 2nd nearly did). Of course its really upsetting to be told this but I had to think of the children I already had, and for me it would have been selfish to have another one so I was done and husband had the snip.

It is very early days for you with a week old newborn. Enjoy these days and don't think about the woulda, coulda, shoulda for now.

I assume this was your 2nd c section? A friend had a similar issue when wanting a 3rd. You could seek a second opinion when the time came but a friend in a similar situation had to stick with 2.

This happened to me after my 4th C Section.

I was told the same after my 3rd c section - i went into spontaneous labour with my dd and my scar had started to dehisce. Emergency section - very scary.

I’d be happy with what if got and would want to live for them than take the risk.

I’d not if

If I was told another pregnancy could kill me and the baby, I would without question stick with the babies I had. For one thing, what a thing to put on a partner; DH would never, never consent to have unprotected sex with me if he knew the result would risk taking me away from him and leaving our existing children motherless.

It's hard to have your choice taken away from us, but reproduction is never fully in our control, and many, perhaps most, of us don't get exactly what we want in terms of babies.

What would make you take it as a definate no?

wow, I didn't know this could happen. Lots of people say they've had a few CSections with no issues. Sorry to read that op.

It’s always hard when we feel our reproductive choices are being taken away.

That coupled with post partum makes an emotion soup that can be tough to get through.

Id really recommend talking to someone about this. It could form part of a birth debrief at your hospital.

Sorry about your news. My friend had similar and was told absolutely no 3rd. I've had 3 sections now and although I've not got your issue, the last section took ages as all my organs were in the wrong place, they had to move my bladder quite sone distance apparently! It's a reminder that sections are a big undertaking.
If I were you, I'd accept my lot - at least it makes the decision more final re a 3rd.

I think it sounds like the surgeon did a good job. He gave you all the information based on his observations, made recommendations for what to do if you did want a third and emphasised the risks and the lack of guarantee of outcome. He didn't tell you what to do or think.

Personally I would not jeopardise the security and well-being of my own two existing children to go for a hypothetical third with that level of risk.

In the past we didn't know this risk information so women and babies died like flies. Mourn the future you might have wanted, be humble and grateful for the science and skill that guarantees your kids a mother, and love the babies you have. Two is brilliant. They are friends, fit in a normal car, and don't cost the earth in both a literal and metaphorical sense!

This happened at my second; I had a debrief after and the consultant said it’s a complete unknown why it happened and an unknown if it would happen again. He said that they can’t really predict it as there aren’t clear warnings signs before it ruptures. He stayed on the fence about whether he’d recommend another baby or not but did also talk about the risks if it happened and ruptured with the best outcome being hysterectomy and worst being loss of life.
For me it was enough to finalise my decision to not have another baby.

I wouldn't be rolling the dice in those circumstances. Your two children who are already living are your priority. Think for a second of what their lives will be like if you die in the process of gestating #3 - I think when you put it like that it's a no brainer. Of course that can happen to anyone but for it to happen when you had already been warned about another pregnancy would add an extra layer of trauma and distress for them if they found out. I'd be putting all your efforts into coming to terms with the situation, engaging with a professional counsellor if you feel that would help.

Yes you’re mad not to take that as a definite no. You have two living breathing healthy children to live for, what would you want to risk leaving them motherless for?

I wouldn't have any more but 2 would be more than enough for me!
Prioritise your current kids, I think it's actually nicer to have smaller families as less chaos and you have more money to spoil them.
It is sad to have your choice taken away though, I think because it feels like a door is closing forever.
I only have one but we are thinking of dh having the snip, as the age gap is getting big now and we don't think we could afford a second..

Gosh this is tough. But I wouldn't even consider a third in these circumstances.
Someone I know of had a ruptured womb and sadly didn't make it (the baby died too). Her other DCs were 5 and 3. She'd planned a C section at 39 weeks due to 2 x previous, but went into spontaneous labour at 36.5 weeks and her uterus ruptured with the first big contraction, no warning.
Speak to your midwife about counselling/ debrief service. While you have two healthy children to be grateful for, it's understandable and reasonable to be sad about the news you've been given and you may need help to come to terms with it.

How utterly devastating - rest in peace mum and baby and those poor little kids who were left behind.

@Gettinagoldtoof It was awful. She hadn't been warned that there was a specific issue based on the condition of her womb at the previous section (besides the usual but often dismissed knowledge that each successive CS makes subsequent pregnancies more risky). It was totally unexpected. This must of happened 20+ years ago now and I think of her and her husband & kids often.

It's still fresh for you so no wonder it feels raw, but nope no way would I risk it for a 3rd, please think of your existing children.

Don't know about the Op but I find it really patronising to be told "think of your existing kids" "be grateful for what you have" "two kids is enough" "prioritise the kids that you have".

No one has said that she ISNT doing that. But she's fully entitled to be upset, devastated, let down, confused, grieving for a family that she envisioned that she now probably won't have all through no choice of her own.

Neither did I really, I’d heard of people having a thin womb lining but didn’t realise how life or death it was and still not entirely clear on the facts or my exact situation but it all sounds very scary

Given you already have two children I’d take it as two is what you’re going to have. Health is so important and pregnancy is hard!

I've been told no more children after dc 2. I had a TIA during pregnancy and then found to have a leaking heart valve and mild pulmonary hypertension. I think in my case the pregnancy could excabate these. I don't know, I would have maybe liked a third, but to be honest, I wasn't really upset. I'm just grateful for my two dc and my life.