Womb so thin surgeon could see baby through it - csection

[MSxx]

I had baby number 2 last week and the surgeon asked if we planned to have anymore children. We half did and half didn’t so I was going to be devastated if it was bad news but I still feel a bit robbed that the decision seems to have been taken away from me.

He commented that my womb had been so thin around the scar area that he could fully see the baby before opening it up. He advised that if I want to have more children in future I should have scans etc first to assess the womb but said there is no guarantee of them being able to say if it’s safe to go ahead with a pregnancy as it can be so hard to pick up. If I’d gone into labour it would have been likely that baby would have ruptured through the scar so I’m very thankful that didn’t happen. I’ve done some googling of the outcomes for both mum and baby if this was to happen and they’re terrifying and seems you’d need to be very close to hospital for it to end well for either of you!

Am I mad for not just taking this as a definite no? I just feel a bit gutted that I don’t seem to have the option anymore. Has this happened to anyone else and it’s worked out okay? I’m very lucky to have my two so I will happily cope with that if need be

It's quite sobering to read, I had 2 CS and that risk never crossed my mind with my second, it doesn't bear thinking about. I agree with PP, bask in newborn happiness for now, you don't need to solve it now. You can process and come to terms with everything in a few months and seek therapy as needed.

It's not worth the risk.

@NCgoingdry this! OP is perfectly entitled to process her emotions regarding this. She doesn’t need to be told what to do.

I understand how you feel, op.

I'm pg and going to have a second c-section and my surgeon has already warned me about this. I'm planning to have the female equivalent of the snip at the same time as my c-section to take away the worry of conceiving accidentally in the future.

My dh has said he's willing to get the snip himself but I figure - what if one of us was widowed, my biology would stay the same but he'd still be able to go on and have more kids. He says he might get snipped anyway.

I'm 95% sure I'll have no regrets about stopping at 2 kids, but at the end of the day it's medically advisable after 2 c-sections. (And absolutely no way am I attempting a vbac after my first birth experience but that's another story).

Another compounding factor is I've found out I'm expecting a boy as my second whereas I always pictured having at least two girls. Now I know I'll always just have one of each - I know he'll be perfect of course.

Anyway this was just a longwinded way of saying you're not alone and I understand how you feel.

Maybe the possibility that a third pregnancy could kill her and she already has 2 children to think about.

I think it's quite a tough thing to process but listen to the experts.
Fwiw I had a third child long after my eldest 2. I had a difficult birth for different reasons and ended up in the high dependency unit with specialist care.
At my debrief I definitely decided to give thanks for my blessings and for modern medicine and move on.

Oh, mumsnetters, there's no need to be so blunt to op. She's only a week postpartum ffs! She needs time to process this info and banging on about how she'll orphan her kids is over the top.

She's not 2y postpartum and trying to conceive. She's just one week postpartum and reflecting. I could barely even make it into the shower by one week.

I know a couple of people who were told this during their second c sections. It surprised me as c sections seem so common now and in many situations are (understandably) seen as the “safe” option so you forget the risks which go alongside.

It must be really difficult for you and in your shoes I think I would make the decision not to try for a third child. I would ask for a further debrief though to ensure I’d had the opportunity to ask questions etc once I’d had the chance to reflect and recover from the birth.

I’ve done some googling of the outcomes for both mum and baby

Op, don't do this right now. Park this for a few months and concentrate on your new baby.

What I sometimes do is, set a reminder on my phone, say 3 months from now "discuss xyz with dh". You can sit with him then and talk about it, google it, cry about it.

But you're not in the right headspace only 1 week post partum

This is great advice

I had my 2nd sec late last year and although the recovery was a lot more straightforward than the first I nearly had a cardiac arrest on the operating table. It was very frightening. For that reason I won't be risking a third. Although it saddens me to know I won't be having anymore I'm grateful that I made it through the pregnancy and c sec in one piece and with a healthy baby.

I understand medical reasons for csections when it's absolutely necessary for mother or baby. However maybe this type of complication would be warning for women who choose csection out of vanity etc, especially now when you have right to whatever delievery you want.

women who choose csection out of vanity etc

Oh ffs do such women exist? Maybe the odd rare instagram influencer or something? Certainly no one I know and I know many mums who have had c sections, mainly emergency ones.

And is this helpful to op who is one week postpartum from a c-section where she received some traumatic news...?

Basically, you are coming across as one of those "you haven't REALLY given birth" types. Yuck. You've come to the wrong thread

Who chooses a c section out of vanity?!

Congratulations on your baby.

would it be possible to not think about this now? Post partum you are very vulnerable and emotions can be up and down. I think the idea of a birth de brief is a good one.

take it easy. X

@Mummy08m thats a very selfless way of looking at it! My instant thought was ‘well he can get the snip then’ 😂 Obviously if I’d known what I know now I’d probably just have got done during the csection but it wasn’t until after that he came to speak to me about it. I got the vibe during it though from the comment he made that he’d seen something bad and was trying not to kill the mood there and then but would give me the bad news later so I said I knew that’s what he was going to say when he came round to see me after. It is what it is, I’m lucky to have the two I have but it’s just a strange feeling now to know this is the last time I’ll do all of these things! Mine are boy and girl too and I feel blessed to get to experience both but have a very close relationship with my mum and sister so it’s a shame she won’t have that or my son won’t have a brother growing up. There are definitely worse things happening in the world though!

They do tell you all of these risks when you sign up for the first csection, you just hope you won’t be the statistic though. If the woman sees no other way of getting baby out, for whatever reason, then I’d say it is absolutely necessary though and knowing what I know now I’d still give birth the way I did both times as there wasn’t an alternative to me

I think it’s just the instant need to know some more information as in amongst all that was happening on the day I felt like I went from really happy to slightly sad to confused to happy again. They did have to tell me though and they chose not to do it in the middle of the birth at least but yeah, putting it to the back of my mind for now and just enjoying the bit I’m at would be the best way to go!

@MadamMaltesers that’s really scary, glad all worked out okay in the end. It is so unpredictable but as the anaesthetist was telling me during it, it’s the most common operation done by the NHS now and he said they do around 1000 per year, so most probably do go okay.. it’s just a bit rubbish when you end up being one of the statistics on the risks page 🙄

I was told firmly after my second ELCS (placenta previa) not to have any more children. The surgeon actually waved her scalpel at my husband. We had our fourth and last child last year with no problems at all. See yourself as being forearmed with the knowledge rather than as a definite no. Congratulations, by the way, and don't underestimate the hormonal drop in mood around this time.

I think it’s definitely made my mind up that if there’s a chance I’m one of these unlucky people then it’s not worth considering. It wouldn’t have been for another 3 or 4 years anyway if I was thinking about another. I had it in my mind two csections was fine and it was the third where you’d potentially get bad news like this so I always said I wanted 2 or 3 kids thinking this was easily doable. Would rather just have left the third as a ‘maybe’ even if we got 3 or 4 years down the line and decided not to go back to the baby stage. Just a weird one when you suddenly don’t have the choice anymore really!

@MSxx I had the same thing . I always wanted to have four kids . However after having three healthy kids I didn't want to take the chance of dying with a fourth pregnancy. No matter how well you are monitored, the risk was too high for me under the circumstances

Oh op, I'm worrying myself a little now ! I'm 13.5 weeks pregnant with my third baby. It will be second c section. As my dd is only 10 months old it's been less than a year since the c section and therefore it's been recommended to have another. Worried I'm going to go into labour before the section. My Dd came a week before the c section date that was booked in so I went into spontaneous labour 😕

@TheInterceptor thats the thing, there are always people like you who have the opposite side of the story to tell and have made it through another pregnancy despite any risks posed. I think realistically I’m too much of a worrier and probably will draw the line at two but you’ve got people on here who would say you were selfish for potentially orphaning your children to risk having another 🙄 everything in life is a balance of risks and benefits and with things like birth I feel like you really take your life in your hands going into it at the best of times so I don’t think anyone can view it as selfish in any way when it’s your own desire to have another child and it’s near impossible to just kill that if your need for one is strong enough

@huggiess Please don’t let it worry you! You’ve not been given any bad information like I have so fingers crossed you won’t have any issues with this. I think it’s reasonably uncommon. Up until last week I was walking around completely oblivious that labour starting could trigger me to potentially die within minutes if I couldn’t get help so if someone had told me that information after baby #1 I probably wouldn’t have risked a second, I was just very lucky to be okay. I’m sure you will be too, I know quite a few people who have had sections close together and although they try to warn against it, all of the ones I’ve heard of have been absolutely fine. It’s probably more about how your own body happens to heal instead of timing quite often, my body just must not be great at healing!