November 2023 babies - Thread 5

[Shaker21]

I couldn't find a new thread open as the old is now full.

Got a few of the usernames to tag, definitely missed people but hopefully they find the thread :)

@spareincoming @Pinkplantcase @leeanneD11 @LilmissCa @FlyingHighFlyingLow @Psqueak87 @spanglesj @BabyBabyBaby123 @Houseonthehills @GreenAventurine @reememberly @Cegbee @DollyGx @38andtrying @JD90 @travellingislife @mldn @sb86 @TMI2000

have just joined mumsnet and came across this thread - seems really good so Thankyou too whoever put it together. Still trying out how to work this thing!
Anyone suffering from insomnia that includes literally not falling asleep at all? My last pregnancy with my DS was a breeze, this one (expecting a girl…. People keep telling me this makes a difference…) is like a whole new ball game. I have always been an excellent sleeper with very few issues but I am now 27 weeks and insomnia has hit with a vengeance - I am literally not getting to sleep at all - but strangely (and I am finding this unsettling) I am not waking up exhausted …. I wish I was, I’ve been waiting for exhaustion to take over and knock me out.

Just thought I’d pop some advice for the breastfeeding/bottle situation.
I’ve done quite a few courses and helped with breastfeeding mums etc.
It depends on the baby if they will take breast and a bottle, my baby didn’t. It confused her, so sometimes it’s a choice to do one or the other.
the first 6 weeks you shouldn’t pump as it will confuse your body into producing too much milk and then you get problems like baby pulling off too frequently as there’s too much let down, or build ups or milk that lead to mastitis. You also don’t get much milk from pumping for a while.
If your baby does take a bottle then you have the option of formula top ups early on and breast milk later, but again a lot of babies struggle adjusting to formula as well as breast milk as their stomachs are so sensitive and formula is heavier.
I breastfed for 2 1/2 years before I got my daughter off 🤣 and no formula. Hopefully all of you will get the feeding journey you want or what works for you and baby!

Also, first couple of weeks are tough however it shouldn’t really hurt. Yes the actual nipples will be sore for a bit but if you feel intense pain every feed then ask for help as the latch is probably wrong. Xx

I just feel like feeding is such a minefield.
I've always said I am going to exclusively formula feed for a variety of reasons, having my body back and also I am quite a sensitive person and I know how hormonal BF is and I worry it would trigger or worsen the likelihood of me getting post natal depression, especially if baby doesn't take to a bottle and I am the only one getting up all hours to feed him.
However, being a FTM and reading all the research I can't help but feel a little guilty for my choice and wonder if I should be trying BF and I definitely feel like the midwives I have seen so far are pushing me towards BF, when I say we are formula feeding they ask if I have all of the information on BF and make comments like 'well, we will see how it goes!' so I really have no clue.
I have already bought MAM bottles and two boxes of Aptamil Formula but I almost feel like I will feel guilty if I don't even try BF despite my solid reasons for not leaning towards it.

I formula fed on our eldest, Aptamil, and she was great on it with no problems.
On our twins I pumped, the reason was more so that they were premature and it was advised that breast milk was best for them. I managed 3 weeks before I gave in to formula. I found I was constantly pumping, every 2-3 hours I needed to pump, and just found it very overwhelming!

I’ll be going straight to formula feeding on this little one. I know they say breast is best but I just feel with 3 younger kids already (8,7,7) it might be too much, and with the formula my OH can help out with the feeds, more so the night feeds. Have gone with the MAM bottles and will be using Aptamil again!

Hope everyone is doing ok in this heat and keeping well! ❤️

People will always have strong opinions on feeding but just try and remember that it's your choice, your body and mind and your baby. Easier said than done obviously, but no one else knows what's going on in your mind/body so really can't judge what is truly best for you and baby!
I tried to BF my first, unfortunately she was so physically small she just didn't have the strength needed to latch well, sought help from multiple sources but no dice. In the end I pumped and have her EBM for the first 3 months. However if put in that situation again I would not attempt to do this. It psychologically and physically destroyed me as the demands of pumping and feeding and all the rest were just too much. This time around I am going to try and BF again, hopefully we can make a proper go of it but seeing as bub is again likely to be very small I am preparing myself for the possibility of pumping/combi feeding.

Anyone out there been thinking about birth plans as yet?

I had to top up feed my first - partly because of milk supply and partly I believe because of pressure from the doctors which never really
gsve my milk a chance to come in properly. That said he did brilliantly on it. We had a few hiccups with formula we started on aptimel and then Moved to mania as the aptimel was giving baby lots of reflux and tummy issues. We then moved to HIPP organic after continuing problems with reflux, constipation and skin flair ups and I have to say HIPP was amazing (we swapped as a friend recommended it saying the same thing - I would without hesitation recommend HIPP organic for anyone doing breast with formula top ups or those going straight to formula! Really worked wonders on my DS.

@JD90 totally agree with this, feeding is a personal choice and there’s honestly no right or wrong. As long as baby is fed, that’s all that matters. I have two kids and never breastfed either, I’ve never even tried it. At one point I was afraid to admit that out loud, that I’d never even tried. Then over the years I thought no, I refuse to be shamed and so I decided to own my decision. It was a personal decision that I felt was best for me, and I’m making the same decision this time round. My kids are happy and very healthy and I’m happy with my choices so that’s all I can ask for 😊

I am literally dripping in sweat today 😂 the heat didn’t hit me the last few days but apparently today it has.

@JD90 I haven’t had the conversation with the midwife about birth plans yet but I’ll probably dust off the one I did for DS at some point and see if I want to make any tweaks. I’m under the home birth team and they are all pretty hands off so I’m fairly confident that they’ll just leave me to it which I want. Same for the placenta, I don’t think the injection was even mentioned last time.

We’ve agreed with MIL that she’ll come and sit in the house to be with DS and I need to order a pool at some point but that’s as far as the plannings got so far.

Oow that and we’ve got some books to look at with DS too. He hasn’t been very interested 😂

@WriMum22 and @Spareincoming Thank you so much, I'm feeling much more reassured now about the prep machine.

@Spareincoming how did you clean it with vinegar? How much vinegar did you put?

I think I might just get another second hand prep machine and stick it in our bedroom. Only thing is it will be a bit noisy ... maybe I'll try out the one I have currently in our bedroom and see how it goes.

@JD90 yes I've been thinking of amending a template I have from the positive birth course and also my one from last time round. But I haven't decided yet whether to push for a home birth or not, or even whether I'm up for taking pain relief like an epidural or not. I definitely know I don't want Gas&Air as it makes me really boozey/out of it and I guess pethidine and diamorphine will do similar. So I'm not left with huge amount of options. I'm hoping to get it done before my next midwife appointment so that midwife can put in the correct info into the notes (as appointments are often rushed and it takes me long to decide ☺️).

I've heard lots of good things about the Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill. Anyone read it? I can't decide whether to get a second hand of the older edition or splash out on the new edition.

@PinkPlantCase lovely to hear you are having a home birth! What have you prepped for the practical side of the home birth? I've read about old sheets, old towels & plastic but how do you know how much you need and where to put them? We are considering home birth but our living room is small, bedroom is two flights up ...

The pool comes with a big tarp and I got some old duvets last time as I thought they’d be nicer to sit on than anything plasticy, we had some big inco pads and but the midwives also brought them with them. I think we put a plastic sheet on the sofa and then the duvets on top. That was probably over kill though, it really wasn’t very messy.

The funniest bit mess wise last time was my waters breaking 😂 I went and stood in the bathroom and so much water gushed out with each contraction, it made us laugh so much. I don’t think it was something we’d really thought about in advance. But atleast that’s clear liquid so normal towels did the job just fine.

The midwives cleared up everything post birth and put the pool away.

We’ve moved house now but our old living room was really small, only a bit bigger than 2m x 2m, we rearranged some furniture and made sure that the pool was a smaller one!

@PinkPlantCase that's really reassuring to hear. Duvet sounds like a great idea. I've always said I'd love to give birth on a carpeted surface and if possible would take a very comfy large rug to hospital (lol). Would of course be even better doing it at home!

How was it with the pool? I guess filling it up seems easy but how do you empty it? Is it difficult? And how do you keep the water warm?

I'm expecting a massive mess with waters breaking too based on last time. I was shocked by how much water there was. If I was on a bed, even with waterproof whatever, the mattress would have been completely destroyed!

@JoyApple emptying and filling the pool wasn’t something I had to worry about tbh 😂 that was a DH job. We did have fun with the tap connectors, the only tap we could connect it to was the upstairs bath and then run the hose down the stairs but we had time to work that out a few weeks in advance.

It comes with a pump to empty it and for us they just put the hose straight into an outdoor drain gulley thing in the garden. Then there’s a plastic liner that you bin to the actual pool doesn’t really get wet or dirty.

I had the opposite problem for keeping the pool warm, they tell you to half full it with hot water to start with so that it keeps it heat for when you want it but DS was coming faster than expected so I had to wait for it to be cool enough to get into! I really liked it though, it naturally protects the space around you and felt very calming. And idk I felt stretchier under water, I don’t really have anything else to compare it to though as that was my first baby.

Love the idea of taking a giant rug to the hospital!

@JD90 you are so right, there’s no right or wrong with it!
Im meeting with our consultant on Tuesday to discuss the possibility of a VBAC. Mid wife at last appointment said it looks to be in my favour but we need to confirm with consultant first! I’m keeping all fingers crossed we get to go ahead with it!
Has anyone here had a VBAC before?! Would you have done anything differently? Any advice?

@JoyApple yes, white vinegar, the food safe one you can buy on Amazon in 5 litre bottles. The manual (https://www.tommeetippee.com/media/PDFs/Perfect_Prep_Original_Manual.pdf says about using white vinegar to descale it; we use white vinegar on the lamb feeders and have for years and found it very effective - seems to be the same with the perfect prep!

With regard to the noise; a few stripes of sellotape over the speaker holes on the back reduces the noise significantly! Ours was on the landing outside other DCs rooms and never disturbed them!

@TMI2000 if it makes you feel better I was exclusively formula fed. I turned out just fine, I was a really healthy baby and have been lucky (touch wood) to never have any health problems. I feel like I have a great immune system too. So do what feels best to you!

For those of you who are planning to exclusively formula feed, are you planning to take medication (Cabergoline) to stop milk coming in?

I've asked for it a number of times and have finally been prescribed it. I think guidelines are best to take it within 4 hours post birth but I need to double check.

However you want to feed, I do advocate giving baby a first feed from the breast after they are born. It's so lovely and you barely feel them.

I took weeks to establish BF. It was hell going through prepping formula /sterilising bottles, pumping and attempting direct to breast but I'd do it again.
Saved so much money with BF and it's so handy to just grab a bag and leave the house and no bottles to mess about with,no waiting for formula to cool.

One of my friends is involved in infant feeding and they aren't allowed to teach bottles unless asked. It's a no formula promotion policy- so still ask for info but don't be surprised if it's not offered.

Combi feeding is underrated. This time I want to BF but will introduce a bottle a few weeks in. DC1 took so long to get on the breast that I didn't give a bottle. There were times I wish DH could have tagged in but I am stubborn!

I lost loads of weight breastfeeding. It did help me get back to normal size quickly.

Fair play to you all with the home births! I've decided to stick with the hospital this time.

If it helps to have a 'positive' story - I had no pain relief at delivery with DC1 (mostly for practical reasons). It is painful, I won't play that down, but it is possible.
It's available, it's safe - have what you need to.

My birth plan - hospital, not in a pool, see how it goes for pain relief (I am open to any of it and will build up as needed).
Might let placenta come in it's own time this time (had the injection last time) and will give baby vitamin shot (was it K or A? I forget!).

@JoyApple i never took anything with either of mine, think I only ever went through about a week of discomfort whilst it dried up, don’t ever remember it being anything too uncomfortable.

Neither of my children have ever been on the breast, not even for first feed. They are both healthy children and have never had any health issues, their immune systems are really good to be honest, even with all the sweets they’d happily live on if I let them and didn’t ration 😂

Breastfeeding is perfect and produces healthy babies.

Formula feeding is perfect and produces healthy babies.

Do what’s right for you ladies 💕

I saw my midwife yesterday and we briefly discussed birth but it was more in the context of we will have a more in depth conversation about it all at the next appointment. However we both acknowledge that though going over the info as a refresher will be sensible as it's been so long that we can't really plan as such, as it's likely to be a case of me just being told when bub needs to be outside rather than in by my consultant team which could be anytime in October or November. She did mention however it might be a good idea to sort out a go bag over the next few weeks just in case. I think in terms of pain relief etc I'll probably end up doing the same as previous, I'm open to anything and just see how it goes at the time. First time I had a bit of gas and air but it made me throw up so I sacked it off then had one lot of pethidine.

@JoyApple they won’t prescribe it here unfortunately; I have also heard it can, for some people, only
work temporarily.

Antihistamines and decongestants can’t be used when breastfeeding as they can dry up your milk supply.
I intended on taking some when I was ready to stop bf DD2, but because I was pregnant my milk dried up on its own instead.
I will be keeping this in my back pocket once I’m ready to wean this baby, but I’m hoping to make it to around 18 months again.