7 weeks and symptoms gone all of a sudden, dead scared of a 2nd mc

[TTCbaby2023]

Today I feel lower than low and hopeless. Back in May, I had an mmc discovered at 9 weeks but baby probs stopped at 8 weeks. Exactly at that time symptoms started to fade and eventually went by the time I had the scan.
Fast forward to today, pregnant again at 7 weeks. I didn't have many symptoms to start with, very mild breast soreness and a weird taste in my mouth on and off. In the last week, mild nausea started with some food aversion. Yesterday symptoms seemed to peak and all of them were fairly strong in comparison.
Today I woke up with breast soreness that went completely during the morning, no nausea and no weird taste in the mouth.

It feels very much like history repeating itself and words can't describe how bad I'm feeling right now. I don't think I can bear another loss.. Don't know what I should do..

@readingismycardio Good to know! every hour it is different, it is up and down constantly.

@TTCbaby2023 it's the hormones it's normal they can't haunt us 24/7 otherwise no one would get pregnant! Ul find your patterns also change throught out the weeks. When I used to have sore boobs for example ot happend 3/4 times a day now of am lucky it only happens twice and it either tends to be once in AM and once in PM and lately I have been waking up at 4am with painful breasts. I think it's the hormones going round and changing somehow. If you all like I am part or another chat here called ivf pregnancy first trimester although ur not pregnant via IVF it really is irrelevant we just offer support to each other and there's so many ladies of all weeks with the original ones being 23/24 weeks now so it's great because we can always pick their experiences when we're going through something. You guys should join should you wish 2 xxx

@Vallef thanks for your message, I will go check out the other chat.
How are you doing? I've been feeling down and not very hopeful since yesterday. Tuesday can't come quickly enough but have this weird feeling that it's all over like last time.

@TTCbaby2023 it's Monday nearly and that will pass quickly and Tuesday will be here before we know it. Il be praying all goes well hun honestly there's nothing much you can do. I wish you went and did a private scan to make u feel better :(

@Vallef @LeopardLover @readingismycardio I had my scan today. I was so anxious this morning that it was literally hurting. I was so ready to hear the worst and asked them to turn off the screen initially, but she turned it on a few seconds later as baby was there happy and with its little heart pounding. I just burst into tears... It was the same sonographer as when I had my mc and she was so nice and checked absolutely everything. They have even booked me in for another scan in 2 weeks for peace of mind seeing how anxious I was. I know this isn't the end of the road yet but a first step at least even though I know the anxiety will be back soon.. Symptoms in the meantime have been very much on and off and not many of them. Crossing fingers that this one sticks till the end.

@TTCbaby2023 SO pleased for you!! I had a very similar experience and burst into tears. And it's great you have another scan booked in!! 💜 Crossing my fingers for you xx

@TTCbaby2023 so so happy for you been thinking of you all day! That first scan especially after a scare and a mc experienc3 is so emotional hun try and relax now and just look after ur self and that little bean now because it can feel distress and hormones. I remember at my scan at 6w & 2d as I had alot of spotting I also didn't want to look at the screen and after I just coulndt believe it thought I was dreaming. Great they booked another scan as well that's a huge relief :) xxx

@LeopardLover I am pleased too to have another scan but of course now I am back to being anxious as keep focusing on stories saying that baby died shortly after a good scan. I feel like I will never relax and enjoy this pregnancy. I had my booking appt yesterday and whilst the MW was explaining all the different steps, all I could think about was that will probably not be relevant to me...

@Vallef @LeopardLover Has any of you ever used a doppler at home to listen to the heartbeat? I was thinking about getting one to be able to hold my nerves until the nest appointment. It's a bit of a double edged sword as it can be difficult to find it.. The other option would be to book a private scan next week 😳

Oh I'm so sorry, it must be so difficult to change that mindset. Take each week as it comes 💜

I don't think you can find a heartbeat with a doppler until you are much further along! They are also tricky to use and not recommended.

If you really need that reassurance I think another scan is best. I really feel for you 😔

I keep getting bleeding so part of me is a little concerned but I don't have a history of loss so I can't imagine how you feel x

@TTCbaby2023 no they only work the further along you are and I read that their not recommended as if you can't find a heartbeat it can cause more anxiety and upset than good. Also there's been stories of people being reliant on it and because they heard a heartbeat they didn't pick up other signs things weren't good in the pregnancy so I never wanted to go down the rabbit hole. I am privately paying a bomb to have a scan every 2 weeks for my peace of mind sacrificing other things as this is the most important. If you can I'd recommend a scan privately somewhere but make sure they know what their doing hun if you do xx I would said try and relax keep busy and just count the days down as well I find that really helps me. As soon as I scan am ok for the next 5 days and then my worries come back the dreams of blood comes back its just a horrific cycle when we're like this :(

@LeopardLover how far along are you again? Is it abit of bleeding or spotting?

@Vallef 10 weeks! It's a tiny amount - mostly red streaks of blood. I'm going to have another scan on Monday and then my 12 week scan is early, so on Friday 🙈

So sorry to hear you're having dreams of blood 😔 sounds really scary x

@LeopardLover aww nearly there :) I coulndt wait to get to week 12 and out of the 1st trimester. To my disgust the doctor was like well technically thats week 13 going into week 14 the 2nd trimester. Lol I just wanted it to hurry up and that period dragged. But it'd the same after as well when your waiting to reach a specific week it slows down alot. Am sure abit of blood isn't anything probably the peanut burrowing further in your womb! I have a scan tomorrow and I can't wait have been antsy for the past week.

@Vallef @LeopardLover yes you're probably right about the doppler, it will end up worrying me more than anything. They say as well that it works better early depending on the padding you have on your belly and I must admit I don't have the flatest stomach 😀I have another scan scheduled on 31st but was thinking if the anxiety is too high, I could book one for the coming week but again a scan per week might not be ideal as they usually recommend 1 per 2 weeks? Symptoms have been very erratic and more on and off which doesn't always reassure me.

@LeopardLover I am sorry to hear about the bleeding. Did you get it checked? Has it stopped? I hope all is well with your pregnancy! Let us know how your scan goes on Monday!

@TTCbaby2023 How are you feeling. 💜

Sorry for the delayed response! The Monday scan showed a physiological gut herniation. The Sonographer was very serious, as soon as she scanned me she asked if I was having screening etc. So I was instantly on edge! 😐 She told me it could resolve itself, but couldn't say for sure and I should go to my first trimester screening on the Friday and take someone with me.

It was a stressful week! But the sonographer on the Friday (different hospital) was incredible. So calm and reassuring, it felt totally different. The issue had resolved and she said that's just totally normal and part of the process. I'm due 5th March 🥰

A midwive and a doctor did an internal examination and discovered I have an atrophic cervix - so it's likely to be irritated easily, hence the blood! X

@LeopardLover That must have been a stressful week!! But I am really glad it all went well in the end and that you found a reason for the blood. The first trimester is just sooo nerve wracking, it's incredible. You've passed it now so you can relax a bit!! I hope I will get there...!!

It's been stressful on my side as well, not for any particular reason apart from my symptoms playing hide and seek which keeps freaking me out. I have my next scan on Thursday and already feeling very nervous about it. I also had various appointments with midwives and consultant as due to my age and previous neurological issues, I am considered high risk. At least I will get more care, so I am not complaining. It's just that every time they mention what will happen at such and such week, in my head it feels like it will never happen anyway.

Against all recommendations, I rented a doppler as the uncertainty was making me miserable and although I know that it can cause more anxiety, I am already at such a level that anyway I might as well try. I tried the first time last Friday, after a little while nothing and got discouraged and told myself, come on one more try and we'll wait a few more days and all of sudden I got it. I hope I didn't mistake it for something else but it's such a distinct noise compared to your own heartbeat or the whooshing of the placenta. I tried again yesterday and struggled once again but at the end I managed to hear it too. I will probably not do it again until my scan and whilst I know it's not an indication that all is well, it keeps me waiting until I can find out if all is well. What a roller coaster of emotions, it is really testing me..

@TTCbaby2023 Sorry I somehow missed this message! How are you feeling? How was your scan? X

@LeopardLover Hello! Well it's been a roller coaster of emotions. Anxiety is not getting better, if anything, it got worse even though so far all is well. I have been referred to deal with that. 10 week scan was perfect, baby was moving around and measuring on track. Then I had another scan at 11 weeks to do the NIPT and again baby was very active and growing well. The sonographer even told us that she didn't see anything untoward and all looked well.
Then came my 12 week scan and this time baby was very very uncooperative and was barely moving and for some reason that worried me. She didn't manage to take proper NT measurement so asked me to come back the following week. That same day I got the call for my NIPT results which were all low risk and told us we were expecting a little girl. That made me feel temporarily a ton better!
A few days after that scan I had another scan but this time transvaginal to check my ovaries due to some cysts and baby again was moving.
Fast forward to yesterday for my repeat scan and this time baby was upside down not moving much either despite eating something very sugary beforehand (but at least in a good position to measure NT) and again seeing baby in that position not moving much worried me.
Basically I always seem to find something to worry me when I thought I would relax once the first trimester has passed. Everyday I feel like the baby died in the womb, it's just torture and that despite hearing the heartbeat on the doppler and the scans. I can't understand why I can't relax and of course to top it off, I keep reading horror stories happening during the second semester which I know I should avoid. I just would like to chill and finally enjoy this pregnancy. I'm tired of being worried all the time...

What about you? How are you doing? How far along are you?

@TTCbaby2023 Oh my so sorry your anxiety hasn't improved 😔

I'm glad the 10 and 11 week scans went well! I actually had a very chill baby at 12 weeks and a hyperactive one at 14 weeks, the sonographer said it's very normal for them to have periods of rest.

I'm glad you finally got the NT measurements taken and you know you're having a little girl!! I'm so so sorry that you are concerned baby girl has passed, this must be just awful for you on a day to day basis 😔 I wish I could give you a squeeze! You have a referral for your anxiety? That's good at least, I hope they can help. How far are you now?

I'm 16 weeks today! But my NIPT results haven't come back which feels like torture as we're keeping things a secret from most until then. Do you mind me asking how long your results took? I chased mine today but they said they don't know when they will arrive 😔 xx

@LeopardLover I think the previous miscarriage left big scars and just makes it so real that everything can be over from one day to another and made me doubt my body big time. It is just incredible how you can get attached to someone you have never really seen. Yes I have been referred to the mental health team and will have the first appointment in a couple of weeks.

Congratulations on being 16 weeks!
For the NIPT I did it on a Monday, I was told that it could take up to 2 weeks as we also had the screening for the Digeorge syndrome that takes a little while longer. We eventually got the results the following Monday. If we hadn't done the Digeorge screening, we would have had the results the same week as the NIPT. We did the PrenatalSafe, which one did you do?

To be honest we haven't anything to anyone yet, not even our close family and I will be 14 weeks in 2 days. It's silly I know but I am scared to jinx it as last time we announced it shortly before I miscarried. Did you do the combined screening with the NHS at least? I actually did the NIPT at the same time as I knew the wait would be too hard.

@TTCbaby2023 That's understandable 😔 I think once you see them on the screen the attachment is there! When they wiggle... 🥹 So pleased your appointment isn't too far away.

Oh wow! That's good. I used Ultrasound Direct, so tested for just the main 3 trisomonies. It's been 6 working days already. 8 calendar days 😭 they said it normally takes 5-6 working days. I wish I did it earlier on, I just thought if I was high risk I'd get it for free. I was low risk on the combined screening but not low enough for my liking. 😫

It must be even harder keeping it to yourself! When do you think you'll tell people? At 20 weeks? X

@LeopardLover If you are already low risk on the combined screen, there is a very good chance the NIPT will be good too. You should get your results anytime now and I wish you the best for them! I am sure it will all be fine but I do understand the anxiety around it.

It is hard to keep it to myself and at the same time I enjoy it being our little secret with my man. I really don't know when I will be tell my family and work. I keep changing my mind! I think I will do it before the 20 week scan, or maybe not. I might do a 16 week scan for reassurance but will book it last minute. In the meantime I have my doppler. I know my mother will be absolutely ecstatic that her daughter is expecting a little girl and I really want to share that joy but at the same time, if things go wrong the sadness and disappointment will be heart breaking.

@TTCbaby2023 Thank you! I know it will be fine, I just want to see it in writing. 😭 I hate waiting! It's taking over my dreams 😅

I felt like this with my son ❤️ we told most people at about 20/22 weeks. But it was easier in COVID times and I was so slim... Not this time 🙈

So sweet about your mum! I told my mum early this time because I was so I'll and needed her support. I'm sure your mum would such a wonderful support too! I hope you feel better at 16 weeks. Those miscarriage odds are pretty good now! X

@LeopardLover Have you had any news yet? I'm crossing my fingers for you!!

@TTCbaby2023 Low risk results came today by email! Very pleased although I was expecting to see a probability. Perhaps for the best so I don't obsess... Further 😂