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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Am I mad for wanting to try to conceive at 26?

84 replies

Blueseas98 · 07/08/2023 16:08

Hi all, but if a weird question I know as everyone feels ready at different times.

Just wondered if many of you starting trying to conceive in your mid twenties? It seems young but we feel ready…

Intrigued to know what people think. Been with my partner for years and we have recently renovated our house together.

Thanks in advance

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SometimesIHitPeopleWithMyCar · 07/08/2023 19:23

I ttc at 19

26 not too young

Rivermedway · 07/08/2023 19:24

https://www.statista.com/statistics/294594/mother-average-age-at-childbirth-england-and-wales-by-child-number/#:~:text=In%202020%20the%20average%20age,%2C%20third%2C%20and%20fourth%20child.

link for above chart

Average age of mothers England and Wales by child 2020 | Statista

In 2020 the average age of mothers giving birth to their first child in England and Wales was 29.1 years of age, the highest average age during the provided time period, and this was also the case for mothers having their second, third, and fourth chil...

https://www.statista.com/statistics/294594/mother-average-age-at-childbirth-england-and-wales-by-child-number/#:~:text=In%202020%20the%20average%20age,%2C%20third%2C%20and%20fourth%20child.

Hummusanddipdip · 07/08/2023 19:24

If you're ready, go for it

OldTinHat · 07/08/2023 19:24

Lost my first at 21. Had DC1 at 26 and DC2 at 27.

I definitely don't think it's at all young. In your teens, yes, but not mid to late 20s.

Twoshoesnewshoes · 07/08/2023 19:28

Definitely not too young.
i had my last of three at 28.
im 47 now and my youngest is at Uni, lots of time for me!

Ladyoftheknight · 07/08/2023 19:29

I'm 29 and currently pregnant with our 5th child! If you can afford it, you're stable and feel ready, then yes.

It's a bit negative but you need to make sure you have a back up plan in case you split up- financial and emotional support if you need it. I had a plan, thankfully never had to use it but so glad I had it.

Best of luck!

Babydust00 · 07/08/2023 19:30

I understand where you’re coming from OP, round here it’s unusual to be below 29 I would say and very unusual to be under 25.

Given that I was born after the millennium despite being married I think people might assume it is not planned when we have a child, I do think if your circumstances are right though there are lots of advantages aside from the biological of doing it at a young age.

stargirl1701 · 07/08/2023 19:30

What about your legal situation, OP? Are you financially independent? Do you own the house? Are you planning a maternity leave? Are you married or in a civil partnership?

Isthebusstillrunning · 07/08/2023 19:38

Of course not. Society just pressures people into 'settling down " at 30+ and 'having fun' in 20s. Do whatever you want.

cptartapp · 07/08/2023 19:38

Be boringly practical first. Think marriage, wills, pensions, childcare etc. As a woman, always plan for the worse case scenario. Men, even in the previously most happy of relationships, don't tend to take the DC with them if things go pear shaped.
Your DP reaction to raising these issues will tell you all you need to know.

7eleven · 07/08/2023 19:42

I had 3 kids by the age of 24. Now I’m a pretty young grandma. It’s great.

TheMarzipanDildo · 07/08/2023 19:48

How long is a piece of string?

FoodFann · 07/08/2023 20:00

Eh? It’s not too young

imactuallyfine · 07/08/2023 20:06

It's not "very young" if you're ready is it.

If you're ready then you're ready.

Jamtartforme · 07/08/2023 20:12

I became a mum at that age. I adore my kids so wouldn’t change my situation, but with the benefit of hindsight, would hang on another 3 or 4 years and:

Get married, if that’s what you intend to do ‘at some point’.
Pass your driving test if you haven’t already. And get a car.
Go on a final blowout holiday, somewhere long haul and with unlimited cocktails.
Have the big conversations first - how many kids you want (at the moment), who takes what maternity/parental leave, how you will arrange finances, what you expect from the other in terms of division of labour.
Save some cash for maternity leave, big buys like the pram, and general ‘treat money’ so you can afford some nice things and weekends away when they’re babies and very portable.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 07/08/2023 20:18

No? It's smack bang in your fertile years and completely normal. You're not a teenager!

While it's younger than average now it's really nothing strange.

rainbowtea23 · 07/08/2023 20:43

I started TTC just after we got married I was 25 nearly 26. Took us almost a decade to actually have our first baby. If you’re in the position and ready go for it

Bexx87 · 07/08/2023 20:48

I had my 4th at 28. I think 26 is a normal age to have a baby if you feel ready.

BabyShaark · 07/08/2023 20:49

26 is perfect if you can afford it. I was 41 when I had my first (and only), at least at 26 you have more options if you want another one or two … or three 😄

callmesophia · 07/08/2023 20:50

Eh... that's not even young!

Jasperdale · 07/08/2023 20:51

Go for it. Best for you and best for baby from a health point of view. The way I see it the younger you have a child the more time you have with them!

Twokidsanddone · 07/08/2023 20:55

If you're ready for it then it's a perfect time! Conceived my first by surprise at 24. Conceived my second, planned at 26. They'll be in school and free nursery hours when I'm 30 so I can concentrate on work. The hardest part has been not really having any mum friends because my friends have waited til 30s.

StorminanDcup · 07/08/2023 20:57

Personally I would say yes, you’d be mad to start a family in the middle of your prime years for jobs, travel, socialising, disposable income, exploring your likes / dislikes and just generally living YOUR life.

No matter how much you try and integrate a baby, no matter how much support you have or how easy you find it - you are still sacrificing your life for your child for at least the first 10/12 years. Until they become a little more independent. Imagine not having a free weekend for the next 15 years because that is the reality (yes you can have childcare from friends / family but it’s never guaranteed)

That said, kids are great and I absolutely love them to bits. But I’m glad I lived a bit of life before they came along, I was ready to give up the nights out, free time, self indulgent Saturday lay lies, long runs, brunches, hours at the gym…. Ok I wasn’t ready to give it up but it hurts a little less knowing I’d had plenty of time for myself.

Ultimately it’s different for everyone but my honest feeling is that it’s too young

Mummy08m · 07/08/2023 20:58

Another vote for get married first - just sign the papers at the registry office if you have to.

Women take on a huge burden of risk physically and financially when we have a baby, and marriage is the best insurance you can have. I had no idea until I had DD and I was temporarily crippled from my c-section and my mat pay dried up to nothing. If I hadn't been married, and my DP walked out, I'd have been up shit creek entirely.

Before I married dh, during our "let's get engaged" chat, he also mentioned (he's so romantic) that he was keen to get married before TTC because if we broke up, he'd be more likely to get some custody. So you see marriage can be helpful insurance to the dad too.

(That's literally how the conversation happened, people we know IRL find that shockingly unromantic but I had hearts-for-eyes at how practical he is lol. We are still married fwiw)

Grannyknowsbest · 07/08/2023 20:59

Had my first daughter age 26.. second age 34 ( 8 years between them)they are best friends now age 38 and 30.

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