Just got a BFP and don't know what to think; just need to talk it out.

[WhatAMuppet]

I have a DD less than a year old who I still BF. Periods have been erratic since she was 9weeks old, and shortest cycle has been 7 wks. DH and I did the deed two weeks into my last cycle (I know, I know ), and I think I ovulated a couple of days later (CM, but not as much or as gloopy as usual (sorry tmi ).

anyway, DH and I discussed it in a "what if" fashion, neither of us actually thinking that I would be pg (in fact DH in complete denial about it). I haven't been able to stop worrying about it though and have been testing daily since Saturday and got a very faint, but definately there, line this evening.

I really don't know how I feel. Part excited, as I always wanted more than two children, but I'm no spring chicken, my health isn't great, I still have lower back issues from my recent pregnancy, and we can't really afford it. Our current outgoings are greater than DHs wage, but if I went back to work we'd have two lots of full time childcare so I'd be working for nothing and we still couldn't pay all the bills

Shitey shitey shitey shite.

I haven't broken the news to DH yet. He is away, but back tomorrow night.

Well congratulations. Sounds to me like this baby is good news at an ok time - you'll have a nice gap between your children. The money situation is not so great - but that is one thing that can be worked on. There are lots of tips on budgeting etc here somewhere - maybe under Legal and Money Matters?
Re the back - are you seeing a physio already - if not then you can ask your GP to refer you asap, get some input from them and that will hopefully stop things getting too bad.

Don't forget - you'll get a little bit more child benefit and more tax credits - you could get help with the childcare? Or - this not ideal but I'll mention it anyway - you could look to work evenings. You have to be careful with this as it is knackering and doesn't give you a lot of time with dh but I worked 5-9 for a while and we coped - it's one way to avoid childcare costs

oh thanks for your response.

Not sure we qualify for tax credits, but maybe we will with three?

I used to live on a budget of fresh air in my student days, so I'm sure I can again. I have a wardrobe full of lovely clothes that don't fit (I can slim back ito them), and I still have all my maternity stuff (it was really that short a time ago) and obviously all the baby stuff (better be a pink one!)

Part time work would be great, but DH works away through the week at the moment so difficult, but that may change soon as he has a 2nd interview on Friday.

I'm pleased, but scared shitwitless

congratulations!

It will work out. I have 5 and couldn't afford the first 2, but you know what.. it's worth it and I'm getting there. You will too.

My dh works away a bit as well and I've got three dcs! You will cope - I know it's scary but three is just lovely. Hope the interview goes well If you want to be inspired, have a look at my profile - it's mostly pictures of dd3!

What lovely girls

Thanks Mars....I'm in awe of five, well I'm in awe of any number of DCs more than two really. And at you doing a job with what can only be described as pretty unsocial hours

I know it'll work out; there are ways of downsizing our outgoings and I can rip out and re-knit old jumpers etc to clothe the kids

I'm bracing myself for the discussion with DH tomorrow, and then I can out myself on my PN thread (I've changed my name for this)

It will go well. Even if he goes into shock initially I bet he'll turn right around. I think it's lovely having lots of children.

Thanks I'm sure your post natal thread will be thrilled for you. You mentioned your health isn't too good - is your dh likely to be anxious about the health implications for you - if so - might be worth seeing if you can track down some info on likely scenarios etc before you tell him? Then you could head any anxiety off before it explodes

He better be OK, not a lot to be done is there?

I'll be needing some advice on VBA2C all being well.

Good idea NL, I'll have alook tomorrow.

It's my mental health I'm worried about as I'm still taking ADs for very bad PND (was under the pshychiatric hospital as an outpatient for nearly six months), and I had a hellish pregnancy last time; think emotional vertical drop rollercoaster

anyway, thanks for the chat lovely ladies. I'd better get some sleep as the chronic fatigue is kicking in already.

You've changed to the wrong name - you're not being a muppet at all - I think you're being really sensible and strong about this - and I'm absolutely sure you and dh will so enjoy having three children. 3 girls is v nice btw

No idea about VBA2C - but there are ladies around who do so you should be ok for advice

x posted with you.

Your midwife should be able to support you with your mental health. I think some Trusts have midwives specifically trained in this area? Your first stop is your GP - I'm sure they will take good care of you. Hope you get a good nights sleep.

thanks

Whata Muppet..????
If you are who I think you are..I think it is fantastic news...even if you aren't, it still is fantastic news.
The finacial support will be there and the hpysical support will be there quicker than last time...you won't need a lot of new things/clothes, you have them already..or people will send you them...and I KNOW that every one on the pn thread will be thrilled for you and have tons of advice re 2 los close together.
Congratulations!!!

thanks FloriaTosca for your kind words, but I'm not who you think I am (Well I don't think I am who you think I am, but as I don't know who you think I am it's obviously impossible to say )

Did another test this morning and it was more faint than the one from last night so I'm very confused now. I'm feeling very premenstrual as well, but that means nothing from past experiences.

I think I'll wait till the weekend and then try again; and I can continue to be in denial (meanwhile taking folic acid and not eating brie) until then

Youre not who I think? I was gleefully holding your little secret to myself, and waiting for you to out yourself to the rest of the antenatal thread [dissapointed emoticon] Hope your head explosion wasn't too bad
Unusual for a morning test to be weaker than a evening one...
I think you are doing the right thing, waiting until weekend in "partial" denial ...I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

There is always help around. If your finding that your not able to keep your outgoings lower then your income then perhaps you could make an appointment with your local job centre as they give quite good free financial advice. Perhaps you could do some childminding as a job. would involve looking after an extra little 1 but would give you some money and you would be able to look after your own children at the same time or maybe you could work for a few hours 1 morning a week and a family member could help out. hope things woork out ok

How long are you waiting before looking at the test, it's not an evaporation line by any chance (sure after having two kids already you wouldn't make that mistake, but you never know).

I thought I knew you, but do you have another DC?

If you aren't who I think you are I'd recommend Pilates for your lower back, and speak to a professional about a gentle exercise programme. This will help your energy and stamina later on.

Two babies are hard work, but it is only hard work. You get on with it, despite its relentlessness - and it is relentless. Come 2/3 you start to reap the rewards.

I have to go and do a nursery pick-up, but I have 4, all fairly close, and if I can be of any help I'll try. My view is it is a good thing, and one which I can go on about for ages!

If you need the VBA2C advice I'm going for one in the next few weeks so can help you there

Good luck.

I suggest you start saving money now and stop buying expensive tests and test a good week or so after your period is due.

yes foxy, I am who you think I am

PMSL at beeper
Operation spendthrift is already in progress. Fingers crossed it's another girl as I have loads of clothes. If it's a boy well, lets say we won't be holding with any gender bias in this household .

and thanks VS . I'm kind of thinking that as this is definately my last baby, I might as well try and do it all this time!

How reasonable were your HCPs? The hospital here told me after my elective (I had an em c-section 1st time around) that if I were to have any more I would need to have another section.

Good Luck with it and let me know how it all goes

I think you have outed yourself

There is so much good advice on here. You'll manage, somehow fate makes sure you do, no matter what obstacles you have to climb over.

Congratulations!

thanks. I figured that as DH and I are happy with it (and I'd actually told him!!), no need to hide behind a namechange anymore.

He was less unenthusiastic than I thought he'd be and now we are getting used to the idea we are quite excited (in a scary, oh f$%£, what have we let ourselves in for fashion).

I'm quite excited about getting a bigger car that we can get all the DCs in on boosters/car seats

DH off for his interview at the moment so fingers and toes all crossed. We've even talked about me doing some part time work until my maternity leave and trying to get a business idea I've been toying with for ages off the ground. We are selling DHs old house at the moment, and although we are still mortgaged to the hilt , there will be enough in there to keep us going for a wee bit and that I can use to get the business off the ground.

and I've stopped buying expensive tests; the morning sickness has kicked in big style this morning so we are in no doubt whatsoever!