So desperate

[gghfcvufcv]

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and a complete mess.
I have severe nausea and occasional vomiting. I am averse to basically everything. Even my little boy makes me feel sick. My own smell is hideous. I cry at the thought of even needing a wee as it makes me feel so unwell. My home smells revolting to me and my husband disgusts me. I've been like this for over 3 weeks now.
I'm signed off work but am just not coping. I'm about to try my 4th set of anti sickness meds as none have touched it. All I do is lie in bed and retch and cry.
I feel like such a useless pathetic lump - I know women have it much worse than I do and manage, but I just don't know if I can do this anymore.
I can't try anything ginger as that makes me feel sick even when not pregnant. I didn't have anything like this when I was pregnant with my son.
Work are not sympathetic and are pushing for access for my medical records even though they have fit notes from my GP. I'm on SSP and am worried about bills next month.
I'm seriously considering an abortion. I hate myself for it.

Well they can't access your medical records. Say no.

I really feel for you. I felt similar with my first and at 12 weeks i was adamant i couldn’t do it any longer, i felt so crap i remember thinking why on earth did i even want a baby when it meant feeling like this and saying everyday if i knew it was going to be like this i would never have done it. But it did get better, and when it did it was great. It’s so hard to see the light but it will and your baby will be so so worth it. You might never want another or to do it again, but you’ll have this little baby and you’ll love it. Obviously it is totally your decision and only you know if you think you can cope and you shouldn’t feel guilty, it takes its toll on you and i’m speaking from when i had it i didn’t have another child to look after so your doing bloody great!!
Some things i tried to do was suck on sour sweets, dry crackers when i could, tonic water helped. I did have to force it sometimes and if i was sick i was sick. Cold wet flannel on my head too.
Sending you love!

@TomorrowToday yes my fit note is very clear it's for persistent nausea and vomiting in pregnancy. Work we're aware if my pregnancy before this as I told them straight away and they have copies of all appointment letters etc.
I was signed off at the start of the year for an (unrelated) illness so my sickness record isn't great.
There are no performance issue or any other concerns at work.
I do not have a disability, but I did have a significant medical issue several years ago (think along the lines of cancer, but not that). I have completely recovered from it and it happened before I joined my current job.
We don't have HR and I requested a risk assessment or occupational health referral but they said they need my medical records. I've said no verbally and in writing.

Thank you. I have a GP appointment on Monday so I'll mention it to her.

I've ordered some. Thank you.

How did they find out about these?

With all due respect why would they care about your medical issues when you will be taking maternity six months for a year?

I'm so sorry you're going through this OP. I can't help with the sickness itself, but I do know you are protected from discrimination during pregnancy, and pregnancy related illnesses are treated differently from long term sickness for other reasons. If your work is being persistent I'd advise speaking to Citizens Advice Bureau, or even an independent employment advisor (I spoke to one before about a case for constructive dismissal and it was so helpful to have someone fully explain to me everything that the company could/couldn't do by law). Hope the sickness eases off for you sooner rather than later xx

Update on nausea - there has been progress! Xonvea has helped! I haven't been sick today at all. I'm still really nauseous and retching, but haven't vomited at all. I think even the nausea has eased a little.

Oh OP that's excellent news. Xonvea does take 1-2 weeks to fully build up in your system but it worked amazing for me so I hope it does you too. 🫂

@abbs1 did it give you diarrhoea?

It did a bit to begin with while my body settled down but didn't last long. Honestly xonvea was a life saver for me esp with caring for a toddler as well.

@abbs1 thank you. I am going to increase the dose tomorrow, but it's made a really positive difference so far. It has really upset my stomach though.

Oh good. Yes build it up slowly as instructed. Thr Dr told me to try only 2 tablets a day but I needed the 4. I'm so glad it's working. Its not a well known drug yet in this country but I was told about it from the pregnancy sickness support charity so I try and let as many others know about it.
Are you taking it with food?

I had a terrible night last night. Have been vomiting since the early hours. I'm so disappointed.

Oh OP I'm so sorry. Have you managed to hold down any liquid at all? If not can you get to your local EPU or A and E to get some IV fluids and antisickness? Iv Cyclizine I know works for quite a few people and is safe from very early pregnancy. I had IV ondansatron from 7 weeks.

Thanks. I don't have HG. I can keep liquid down and I can eat carbs.

They are asking for a medical report, not for a copy of your medical records.

I feel for you, I was signed off from 5 weeks (3 days after I found out I was pregnant) with severe hyperemisis. Multiple hospital admissions for iv fluids cause nothing stayed down, lost 9 stone in total through the constant puking (I had a lot to lose but that's still a LOT lol), my teeth are wrecked cause of all the acid from spewing. I thought about termination many, many times because I couldn't handle it, youre not alone.

I braved through it, somehow, and he's 15 months now with a 6 week old baby sister, surprisingly I didn't puke once when I was pregnant with her haha!

I was lucky and work were sympathetic, never moaned or got weird. (I work in obs and gynae in Fetal Medicine, so that might have helped as its a more understanding department for pregnancy stuff, it shouldn't matter though.)

Sending you hugs and positive thoughts OP.

@Seryse thank you ♥️
It makes me feel terrible hearing stories like yours. You poor thing.
I'm lucky in a sense as I'm not vomiting constantly and can eat and drink. But my mental health is at rock bottom and I can't see how I can have weeks (possibly months) more of this. It's my reaction to my son that is killing me. He's a sweet little toddler that just wants his mum and he makes me feel sick.
I had a consultation with an abortion charity and they have sent me the tablets. They arrived today and I've hidden them away. I keep going back and forth over what to do.

Unfortunately there's no way of predicting how long it will continue, you might wake up tomorrow and magically the nausea is gone! ( crosses fingers, toes, nipples, anything crossable for you that it does! )

You need to do what's right for you. I work i Obstetrics as I said, we aren't the only ones who contemplated termination due to sickness related issues, I've seen quite a lot over the years, and some did take the tablets - one of them I saw a few years later, she was pregnant again and hadn't felt sick or puked once.

This sounds so similar to my experience. Absolutely horrend hg with my son. Daily IVs in hospital and ended up on home care and then steroids. I lost nearly 10kg as well from literally vomitting everything. My body rejected food in the end and had to re learn to accept food. My boy is now a haply 3yr old with a 16 month old little sister. I took xonvea with her from 5 weeks pregnant. I felt nausea on and off but was never actually sick and could still carry on with daily life.

It's absolutely shit ain't it. I tried cyclizine, ondansetron, prochlorperazine to name but a few, even daily injections of them didn't help, I'd be lying if I said I didn't smash my face into the panic button when i found out I was pregnant again, especially so soon, I was convinced it was going to happen again but literally never felt sick once with the 6 week old girlie - which is a good thing with a 16 month old wrecking ball running his laps of chaos round my house 😅

If your not constantly being sick and can eat carbs and keep fluids down it’s very likely to be just normal pregnancy sickness rather than HG and will reduce around 12-16 weeks.

It is. Honestly wouldn't wish it on anyone. I thought at one point before going to EPU that I was goinlg to die. It was only my husbands Grandmother that said you need to get seen which is when they told me how seriously ill I was with HG. I had the IV ondansatron and 2/3 bags of fluid a day in EPU to keep me going for over 2 months until they did the iv and tablet steroids once I hit 12 weeks.
I tried the cyclizine, ondansatron, metoclopromide and then steroids was my last option to save my son. Never been so terrified in my life. Were you sick up until delivery? Once I had my son the sickness was gone finally. I never felt so relieved in my life.

I also had the worst anxiety with another pregnancy. I was like am I really doing this? So glad I did though. My kiddies have such a lovely bond now being close in age. I'm sure you will have the same.

Oh I completely get you on the crazy one running round. 😂🙈

Interesting how boys made us so unwell and girls didn't. I've heard it the other way round as well.

Thanks. I'm aware I don't have HG.