Would you hire a *doula*?

[sarah733]

Thinking of becoming a doula and just wondered if there are any expectant mums out there in the pembrokeshire area who would consider hiring a doula! Dont worry i havent even done any course yet just wondered if its worth doing it!! Cheers!

I am looking to hire a doula too because I am on my own, suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and particularly as it looks like I will be having this little one in a hospital would like someone in the room with me and there for ME my best friend and Mum live too far away to get here at a drop of a hat and the Dad is not around and most of my local friends have kids of their own so it would not be easy for them either.

I contacted 5 round where I live most local one's here appear to be trainees but that is probably better for me as money is a little tight, I have heard back and arranged to meet 2 for coffee in just under 2 weeks spoken to both on the phone and they sound lovely

It is amazing knowing there will be someone with me keeping me focused and making sure my wants and needs are catered for makes me fel so much better already

i had a doula and she saved me from having a complete nightmare birth. the care when we arrived at hospital during the night was absolutely abysmal and we were left alone for hours. I have no idea how we would have coped without the doula. The birth did not go to plan at all but having her there made the world of difference. She was particularly magnificent during the final pushing stage which my husband was not keen to be involved in.
i will definitely be hiring a doula if there's a next time and could not recommend it enough to other people.

I think i must be the only person on here that wouldnt hire a doula!

No offence. I think its a nice idea. But i would really hope that my midwife was doing all the work (for free) that i was paying a doula for!

Thankfully, the midwives i had with both my pregnancies were lovely and i wouldnt have needed one and dp was supportive too. I wouldnt have liked an extra person there unless necessary as i think its such an initimate time. I suppose its different, if you dont feel confident to speak up or you have had a traumatic prev. birth.

Actually, though, looking on the doula site there i woman i know that is a doula and was lovely when i saw her. Im sure she would be a great advocate for women.

schneebly!!

carmen, i absolutely see what you are saying... and in an ideal world, women would meet their midwife at booking in and have her for antenatal care and for the delivery ..would have time to establish a rapport, and an understanding and a relationship... but until the government invests squillions of pounds in maternity services, it is just a lovely thought!!

and doulas are not for everyone, but isn't it great to have the choice of that extra support if you want it

there is funding available through doula uk for women who really need a doula, but cannot afford one, so it should be accesible to all

for many women, especially those who have experienced negative things during the birth, as you said,or who have had bad experiences with midwives, having someone there for you is a godsend.

I'm a Doula, and it's a fantastic honour and delight!

Trainees are only £150. That covers four weeks on call, 3 visits and the whole labour. My most recent client was in labour for 41 hours, though I was only with her for the last 34!

Trainee Doulas have to attend, and be assessed on four births, and I'm not sure how many hours post-natal work, so although a trainee might sound like a bad idea (defeats the object of hiring an "expert"), the doula might actually be quite experienced.

£150 is not a massive amount of money for one of the days you will remeber for the rest of your life IYSWIM!

Carmen i think that's fair enough and TBH I had no need in my previous labours- I was close enough to family I could guarantee my Dh being there with me. Since we moved however, we're over an hour away from the closest family who can take our kids, and there's always the chance with a 4th baby that 2 hour minimum drive is going to be 2 hours too much!

Yes, definitely! I know someone who has hired a trainee doula (couldn't afford the full price model!) and she has been absolutely marvellous through a very anxious pregnancy. She has really made a difference to my friend's experience and I think she's a wonder. And all for £100! Well well worth it. I certainly wouldn't rely on midwives to do the same as a doula would - i would expect midwives to keep me safe, but I know they don't always have the time to offer that extra level of support.

As Lulumama says in an ideal world.

I long for the day when the 'one women one midwife' is in effect. Unfortunately the poor MW's are stretch beyond there own limits and work under extreme conditions and due to various reason (and more than I can remember) the delivery suites have closed and the mother is told which hospital she now has to travel to,a hospital she only knows by name much less knows any of the midwives. I have been in this position with some of my mummy's and what has helped is that I am familar with the hospital and know most of the MW's having worked in all of the hospitals in my area. This has helped the mother relax and have a more positive experience under the circumstances knowing she has continuity of care.

As Lulumama says in an ideal world.

I long for the day when the 'one women one midwife' is in effect. Unfortunately the poor MW's are stretch beyond there own limits and work under extreme conditions and due to various reason (and more than I can remember) the delivery suites have closed and the mother is told which hospital she now has to travel to,a hospital she only knows by name much less knows any of the midwives. I have been in this position with some of my mummy's and what has helped is that I am familar with the hospital and know most of the MW's having worked in all of the hospitals in my area. This has helped the mother relax and have a more positive experience under the circumstances knowing she has continuity of care.

Sarah733, I am the first Doula to have trained in my area, many people look blank when you say you're a Doula but I'm getting the word out.

I've also joined my local MSLC (Maternity Services Liaison Committee) so that I am involved in the local services and get to meet the mw I am likely to meet. I have now also been asked to go to the Labour Ward forum so this means I am meeting Obs and Cons. these meetings are a bit daunting but I've been meade to feel welcome as the lay member and things are patiently explained to me if I need clarification. Through this forum I have met the Feeding Infant Advisor and have just gone through the training to be a Breastfeeding Peer Supporter on the wards. I start next week. It was through the IFA that I got some postnatal work supportng a mum with twins. I have had my website up since before I did my training! I was asked to take a stall at a local Baby Fair arranged by the Real Nappy Network, which was steady

So you can see that although I live in quite a rural area, I have taken things slowly and patiently. I have done what I can to raise my profile and am aware that getting work will be a slow process. I did support two ladies last year on the very edge of my geographical boundaries but they ended up with sections, and have a lovely card from one thanking me for all my support.

The other day I had my first out of the blue email from someone asking about Doula services so I hope to hear back from her after she considers my reply.

Follow your heart, don't expect to earn a fortune, but enjoy working towards your goal

i dont think we will see one midwife, one woman for a long time(if ever), sadly.

Personally, i wasnt bothered and didnt expect to see the same midwife throughout my pregnancy or labour. i did have the same community midwives ante and postnatally and they were lovely, but i had never met my labour midwives previously. That was ok with with me. They made me feel comfortable and both were mainly very positive experiences and they were lovely midwives. I did have a student midwife with ds1 who was also lovely, but apart from that i had my dp for support and that was enough for me, but i realise it isnt the same for everyone else.

Hi Klaw, How long have you been a doula? Are you still training? How have you managed to be involved with your local MSLC? So many things you have given me to think about which is great! Alot of people on this thread have been really helpful but have been from areas where doulas are recognised, so its really nice to hear from you! I know that if i decide to become a doula then i'll also have to look at 'spreading the word about!' like you are and be involved in different groups and activities! Its also a big step as my youngest daughter is only two, but i supose that by the time i train im looking at her being a little bit older any way!
I really enjoy all about birth etc but as ive said before i dont think id be able to deal with the strain of decision making like midwives have to if things were to go wrong. I like the supportive side of things!!

I am in Pembrokeshire (just) and I did have a doula,but I was in London.She was completely and utterly fantastic and even though I had a second c-section (was trying for vbac) I felt supported and she definately made the experinence much much better.For my husband too as he was at home with my toddler for part of the time (no one to leave her with) and he was able to relax a bit as he knew i was in safe hands.Anyone in london thinking of it her name is liliana Lammers and she is wonderful.I think if you can afford it and find someone you click with who really listens to you then go for it,much better for you and your partner.

Going back to the mention of Labyrinths...

Actually it's LabOrinth from Birthing from Within. Pam England is very into her visualisation and birth art which is not for everyone but intrigues me as I have some artistic ability

okaaaaaaay

that looks fascinating

makes more sense than i thought !

Liliana is the 'mother of all doulas' she is an amazing person. I was blessed to attend one of her training weekends with Michel Odent. Her inspiration carries me through very birth i am blessed to be part of.

Sarah, as a Doula you don't make any decisions! You support the couple in making their own decisions, although you can help them to find the information to make these decisions.

The job of a Doula is 'to be' not 'to do'.

I did my training last year, my trainer asks you to do a workshop, read from the required reading list, complete a written piece of work about what being a Doula means to you, and to do all this over a period of about 6 months. Not sure how other courses are led.

So I have completed a course but we continue to learn every day of our lives, and gain experience. I am still considered a trainee cos I've not had my four assessed births but my trainer prefers that we think of ourselves as "New Doulas" which means that we have nt had much experience but does not imply the sort of negativity that "trainee" has.

I also post rather a lot on various forums and have learned HEAPS from these. In fact, being a Virtual Doula was just a progression that happened because of the time I spent online, soaking up information.

A lady I know from local NCT asked me to go to local MSLC, but if you don't know anyone already involved I'm sure that if you contact your local one they would be only to willing to have more lay members. Look it up now!

Stay strong

new doula , that sounds good

am still trainee status as not done my paperwork! eeeeeeek ! am so bad at paperwork, once i have sorted out the household papers, i have no energy lefgt!

gently nudges Lulumama to do her paperwork. Come on you are so amazing that its a crime to still have trainee status, no pressure as understand juggling things can be tiresome, I would help if I could, go for it

thanks t2m, you are very kind

I need to knuckle down, i know i do....

gives lulu a hug

Jumps in to give Lulu a hug too!!

oh, you are all soooo lovely !

I hired a nanny years ago and it was a wonderful help. Does everybody on MUMSNET know about the governments's policy to try and prohibit private midwives. The National Association of Independent Midwives is running a campaign under the name 'one woman one midwife'and hope to get a new arrangement for professional insurance.Come on MUMSNET!! Lobby your MP or Alan Johnson about this.It wll be terrible if mothers cannot hire their own midwife and this is an ordinary mum writing. I am not wealthy just a retired teacher who is very worried about the dreadful decline in maternity services.

Yes Jaskie, I did all the bits and bobs to support IM just as soon as it all came out.

It can only help to highlight it all again so thank you!!

If the Government want all Midwives including IM to have insurance then they HAVE to ensure that there is affordable insurance available. That's all they need to do.