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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

DP questioning paternity

27 replies

Pregnantat45 · 10/06/2023 19:20

Last night I discussed my late period with my DP ( of 10 years), noting it was either pregnancy or menopause. We ‘joked’ about pregnancy and he asked if it was his. I told him not to be so rude. This morning I took a test and I’m pregnant! He is not too keen at the moment, but he feels we have hardly had sex lately and twice more today he has suggested it might not be his. I’m not sure whether to ignore it or address it - I feel like I might protest too much ( it is 100% his). WWYD?

OP posts:
justanothermanicmonday1 · 10/06/2023 19:21

I would definitely address it. If he’s not keen and questioning the paternity it might be a get out for him.

OutdoorPillow · 10/06/2023 19:21

I’d leave him.

He doesn’t trust you, there’s no relationship here.

Theunamedcat · 10/06/2023 19:23

Tell him you will happily have a dna test and Google private companies and price them up

Mythril · 10/06/2023 19:23

He doesn't want to have a baby, that's why he's being a dick about paternity.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/06/2023 19:24

I know exactly what I would do. I would tell that horrible twat that the last time he questioned if I were unfaithful better be the last, because there won't be a next time. If that's what he thinks of you he can walk right out the fucking door.

What a pig. This bodes very, very badly for your future.

WakeMeUpWhenGoodOmensIsBack · 10/06/2023 19:25

Presumably if you have sex that infrequently you can remember that you did have some 2/3/4 weeks ago or whatever? Do the sums and remind him.

Original poster
Pregnantat45 · 10/06/2023 19:31

@WakeMeUpWhenGoodOmensIsBack yep, normal is about once a week 😂 he doesn’t seem to think that’s enough. I have explained that I’ve been on medication that (I now realise!) could make me more fertile and hey presto!

OP posts:
TinyTeacher · 10/06/2023 20:09

Youve got to address it pronto. He could just be being lighthearted as a bit great way of expressing stress at the unexpected situation. But as others have said, he could be looking for a get-out. He's presumably not keen on the idea of a baby.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 10/06/2023 20:13

Sure if he wasn't keen on having a baby, he should have used contraception. I presume he knows that even once is enough to result in a pregnancy?Confused

Whataretheodds · 10/06/2023 20:17

Does he understand how pregnancy occurs?

Quartz2208 · 10/06/2023 20:18

Once a week is very far from hardly any and is more than enough to make a baby

Quartz2208 · 10/06/2023 20:19

And think it is enough full stop of to make a baby

HarrietJet · 10/06/2023 20:20

What medication has the side effect of making you more fertile?
I wouldn't see anything entertaining in getting such a reception from my partner, tbh. You seem to find it amusing; why?

HeddaGarbled · 10/06/2023 20:22

yep, normal is about once a week 😂 he doesn’t seem to think that’s enough. I have explained that I’ve been on medication that (I now realise!) could make me more fertile and hey presto

Good grief, the pair of you need to educate yourselves about how babies are made. Were you both off school that day?

AnneLovesGilbert · 10/06/2023 20:25

So neither of you was using contraception, which is freely available in many forms, and now you’re pregnant. Congratulations, you were trying to conceive and have.

How old are if menopause was the other option and do either of you have children?

HMMOG · 10/06/2023 20:30

Two possibilities- 1) it's a shock, he'll be more sensible soon; or 2) he's not keen and is laying the ground for being a complete shit about it.

I hope it's 1- unexpected pregnancy can be a big shock and he might behave out of character. The fact you're worried about protesting too much makes me think that maybe it's 2 and that he has form for shitty behaviour.

wherearethewindows · 10/06/2023 20:31

That's pretty shitty of him. Address it clearly now.

Ponderingwindow · 10/06/2023 20:41

I would be worried he had been unfaithful and was trying to deflect.

if he wants a non-invasive paternity test, I would agree and not hold it against him because there is no real harm and it will settle the matter of paternity. it Won’t solve the issues that have been raised in your relationship, but if you are continuing the pregnancy, you may have to compartmentalize to some degree.

lostat · 10/06/2023 20:44

wherearethewindows · 10/06/2023 20:31

That's pretty shitty of him. Address it clearly now.

This. Make it clear that isn't a joke you wish to hear and if he says it again you know he's meaning to upset you.

Original poster
Pregnantat45 · 10/06/2023 20:47

It’s hard to put the nuances of your relationship into a few words! We’ve had sex without contraception for 10 years, conceived once (DS is 5). I would have loved another, DP was keen early on. Had now started to write it off ever happening again, started selling baby items (I’m nearly 45). Recently went on medication for low thyroid, never occurred to me. Pregnant within 2 months. I’m taking it as a joke, albeit not funny, but will address it if it carries on.

OP posts:
pizzaHeart · 10/06/2023 20:51

Whataretheodds · 10/06/2023 20:17

Does he understand how pregnancy occurs?

This^
So he had regular unprotected sex with a female of reproductive age and can’t understand why it resulted in pregnancy?????
I’ve thought it’s like you haven’t had sex for quite a while e.g 3 months and he is now surprised but once a week …wtf he was thinking?

Emmamoo89 · 10/06/2023 20:52

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 10/06/2023 20:13

Sure if he wasn't keen on having a baby, he should have used contraception. I presume he knows that even once is enough to result in a pregnancy?Confused

Yep I'm pregnant from just have sex once 🙈

Emmamoo89 · 10/06/2023 20:52

Having*

SideWonder · 10/06/2023 21:14

I would be really angry and also hurt at his lack of trust in me.

And I might start wondering about whether he was actually projecting his guilt onto me and maybe he’s the one who has been unfaithful.

twoandcooplease · 10/06/2023 21:43

Aquamarine1029 · 10/06/2023 19:24

I know exactly what I would do. I would tell that horrible twat that the last time he questioned if I were unfaithful better be the last, because there won't be a next time. If that's what he thinks of you he can walk right out the fucking door.

What a pig. This bodes very, very badly for your future.

I would react exactly the same as this
How dare he
Unless you have been unfaithful before he has no right to question you