AITA for getting upset with my partner for ditching me at a wedding?

[Clouds1991]

My husband (31M) and I (31F) attended a wedding last weekend, it was a beautiful wedding with lots of his friends there and I was his plus one. The night before I asked my partner to check in with me/not ditch me or at least try to include me as i'm 20 weeks pregnant obviously, not drinking and driving us there and back (2 hour away/ 4 hours in total).
I was a bit nervous as i wouldn't be drinking either and for context, it was the first big event we have attended after finding out the baby news. I find some of his 'group' intimidating and they can often be 'clicky'- he is well aware of my feelings on the subject.
During the reception, I struggled to find him. He never looked for me or asked me if wanted a drink. I spoke to people, mingled on my own and met some lovely people. But I couldn't shake the feeling he just kind of dropped me contrary to what we had agreed. I thought don't worry- he'll try later on, he's just saying hi to all his friends...
When we all sat down for dinner (we were on seperate tables- absolutely fine), during the meal, he didn't check on me. Didnt even come over to say hi or even include me when he went to the bar. I saw a few other people's partners doing this as lots of couples were not sitting together. Me being 20 weeks pregnant, I felt a tinge of embrassessment.
After, the dinner I said something to him reminding him about what we spoke about the night/day before and spending some time with me. As the night went on it only got worse, he avoided me, and if I asked him to sit with me for a bit, he would go for a cigarette instead, he knows I don't want to be around second-hand smoke. I asked him to sit with me once, he made an excuse about going to the toilet and never came back. Leaving me with one of his friends who wouldn't stop touching my stomach (annoying but its drunk people being drunk.)
If I was near my partner talking to others, he would make jokes about my 'big' boobs in front of his friends. I tried one last time to talk to him, as it was making me upset, but all he did was look over at his friends saying he missing out, just by being sat with me and walked off.
All of his friends were drunk and didn't want to be around the sober person which was fine but meant I was often alone for long periods of time from 12pm to 12am. When I asked to leave at 12 am (the time to wedding ended), he tried to say about staying longer and tried to get others to pressure me as well.
I felt so disregarded, I haven't said much to him since but the pain is still there. When we got home, he spend the day sleeping so, didn't have a chance to even speak about it.
I haven't said anything yet, and if you ask - he has been on nights out recently even one that week- he went out drinking to 2am (so, its not like he hasn't been able to have 'his fun').

Just one day, I wanted his consideration. Apart of me thinks some people would be like let him have his fun but it was a 12 hour period, during that period he never came over once to me to ask if his pregnant wife was okay.
I have a right to be upset don't I ? Or am I being an asshole for being upset? I know it was his friend's wedding but I have never felt more unloved.

I do agree that it's not a straight LTB.

But honestly, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to understand that a) it's shit to be sober at a drink wedding and b) it can be shit to be pregnant - tiredness, aches and pains, vomiting.

You don't need to mentally come to terms with becoming a father to take account of that. You only need to be a decent human being who treats their loved ones kindly.

To play devils advocate I don't think it's your husband's responsibility to look after you as you're a grown up. If my partner had have asked me to do what you did I would have resented it. He shouldn't have to entertain you like you would a toddler.

IMO you should have been able to leave when you wanted. It was unfair on you to stay to basically give him a lift home.

However, it's weird he deliberately avoided you. I'm guessing either because he was just so pissed or resentful of the duty given to him.

I mean you're pregnant, not invalided.

“If I was near my partner talking to others, he would make jokes about my 'big' boobs in front of his friends. I tried one last time to talk to him, as it was making me upset, but all he did was look over at his friends saying he missing out, just by being sat with me and walked off.”

Devil’s advocate or not, this is shitty.

Did he want the baby? It sounds like he really doesn't care about you and the baby. I just can't imagine my husband doing this when I was pregnant, seems like a real red flag, but I don't know what you can do.

If my husband or partner spoke about me like that I would make a few very loud comments about the minuscule size of his dick and lack of sexual prowess and leave him then and there. What a fucking grub.

Thanks for the advice and perspective.

A big conversation happened last night. It went well. I just showed him my post asking him to read my internal thoughts first/ my perspective. I just let him sit with it and said we'll talk after he's had some time to think. He said he didn't realise he was behaving that badly, blamed it on the booze but def understands he was a shitty partner that day. It turns out he felt the same about the day, that he felt a bit out of place, left out but tried to get involved via drinking/ getting drunk- which went too far. Doesn't pardon his behaviour. But we were aligned on that feeling then, wasn't just because I was sober ( made me feel a bit better.)

He did get quite upset but I didn't try to minimise that realisation of him being a shitty partner at the wedding. He needed the realisation i think. We now have some solid boundaries/ expectations which I am happy with. With those boundaries, I think it would be hard for that ever to happen again and I said at future events of that group, I probably won't stick around for long after the meal/first dance. I am that person who loves weddings so, I was surprised- it was such an odd experience.

We agreed he will have to pick the events he wants to stay at longer without me (and give me forewarning) as one of us will have to get back for the baby anyway. And vice versa, if I have a night I choose to stay out or stay away from home or a hen do etc. Both agreed we are fine to operate separately later in the late evening but if we arrive together, we stick together for a bit as a couple make rounds etc, and come back together for the dinner. I don't need constant attention, just large events where i don't know people that well- a starting introduction. Some may see that as babying but its what i think would work for me.

I guess because we've never both felt like that at a wedding and been sat so far apart, with the distance we had to travel the 2 hours (meaning there was no way to leave independently) I doubt the situation will ever arise again.

I don't want to stop someone having fun or letting loose. I just don't want to sacrifice myself on theit alter of un. Just a shame, as I was really looking forward to it.

There is another wedding in three months time ( my close friend ), there is a bus to town after and my friends would chat to anyone and everyone. So, i think the experience will be different- looking forward to forgetting this event and to probably crying my eyes out at my friend walking down the aisle.

Sorry for the long post. I appreciate the clear independent thoughts.

Glad you’ve had a chat with him and that you felt able to get your point of view across and that he seemed to take it on board. Glad you’re happy with the outcome.

Well done for having that conversation, sounds like he responded well! Good luck with your baby and navigating new parenthood; you're laying some solid foundations.