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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

No heartbeat - induction and I'm terrified!

40 replies

41andtryingforfirst · 17/05/2023 23:11

Not the post I wanted to be writing but here goes…. Third pregnancy in 12 months. Had my scan today. I was meant to be 12+3 but baby’s heart stopped beating a couple of days ago. They’ve said that 12 weeks takes me over the threshold so no MVA this time, I’m going to be induced on Saturday. I’m petrified. Can anyone tell me what to expect? They said I have to ring a bell when baby is delivered for them to collect baby as they won’t be with me. This sounds horrific. Am I going into labour on my own? I don’t understand it.

It was my sixth scan today of this pregnancy as I’ve been under close monitoring. They saw fluid when baby was 10+6. Could that be why this has happened.

Sorry for rambling my head is all over the place and my heart is broken. I’m 42. I think it was maybe my last chance 😢😢😢

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peachgreen · 17/05/2023 23:13

Oh @41andtryingforfirst. I’m so sorry, I have no advice but I couldn’t read this and not reach out to you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Do you have a partner to be with you through labour?

MapofVenice · 17/05/2023 23:14

This is heartbreaking. I am so sorry, sending you strength ❤️

42andtryingforfirst · 17/05/2023 23:21

@peachgreen thank you. My husband will be with me. I'm so frightened. 😢

42andtryingforfirst · 17/05/2023 23:21

@MapofVenice thank you so much x

jpclarke · 17/05/2023 23:26

Sending you strength xxx

Unicorn2023 · 17/05/2023 23:27

@41andtryingforfirst sending you love and strength 💔😢♥️🤗 xx

PeopleAreShit · 17/05/2023 23:28

No advice but couldn’t read and run and wanted you to know people were thinking of you x

Madeintowerhamlets · 17/05/2023 23:30

So sorry OP, life can be so unfair. Thinking of you.

Garethkeenansstapler · 17/05/2023 23:33

What, they won’t be with you when you give birth? That’s horrific! I’m so sorry you’re going through this xx

Crikeyalmighty · 17/05/2023 23:40

I'm sorry this is totally awful- I had a miscarriage many yearsago at 13 weeks and was just taken to theatre and put out. This sounds like third world stuff

AnyaMarx · 17/05/2023 23:44

Done this op. I'm goi g to come back to you .

The baby will be very tiny- so won't feel like a full labour .

It more like bad period pain with an urge to push at some point but the drugs will make you feel like you need the loo frequently anyway

It will feel like you need a bowl movement .

Baby will be tiny and you need to use a commode- once baby passes into the pan , they'll come , take him / her and clean bub up - you can choose to see bub if you wish .

I was a bit further on .

It's not nice - I won't lie . It's a day . A horrible day . But a day .

I'm wishing you all the love and hugs I can find xxx

AnyaMarx · 17/05/2023 23:45

And it's actually better just to be left alone imo.....without nurses hovering. Some of mine were lovely and some weren't .

Xxx

Daffodilsandtuplips · 17/05/2023 23:45

Thinking of you op and so sorry this is happening to you.
I had mine in hospital, at 12 weeks. I started bleeding spontaneously, doctor thought implantation bleeding but admitted me as a precaution.
I remember cramps and lower back pain and a need to push. As nurse was with me, ( it was 2am and DH was at home with our toddler.) she took everything away to examine it and told me I’d retained some tissue and I had a D&C the following day.

Beseen22 · 17/05/2023 23:57

My friend was 17w with but no hb from 14w. She was due to go in for medical management but things started on the way in. The midwives were with her and she was given analgesia and they decided to look at the baby and give them a name.

She actually found it a much easier experience than her 8wk MC at home because she felt like she was on her own and things took a lot longer to come away.

anon067 · 17/05/2023 23:58

So sorry op. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and like pp felt the urge to push - I wasn't expecting that as baby so small. For me the pain was similar to labour in terms of the waves.

Just to give you hope incase you did want to try again, I had another baby almost exactly a year after my loss.

42andtryingforfirst · 19/05/2023 20:03

@anon067 I'm so sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing your experience with me. I'm so pleased you had a happy ending after all x

42andtryingforfirst · 19/05/2023 20:04

@Beseen22 I'm so sorry for your friend's losses. Thank you for sharing her experience with me x

42andtryingforfirst · 19/05/2023 20:07

@Daffodilsandtuplips I'm so sorry for your loss. I think a D&C is one of the bits I'm most worried about as I've never been under general before. I had both my MVAs under local. Thank you for sharing your experience with me x

42andtryingforfirst · 19/05/2023 20:08

@AnyaMarx thanks so much for this post and I'm so sorry for your loss. It's really helped me to visualise what to expect tomorrow. I hope you're ok now x

42andtryingforfirst · 19/05/2023 20:09

@Crikeyalmighty thank you for reaching out to me, I'm so sorry for your loss x

42andtryingforfirst · 19/05/2023 20:09

@Garethkeenansstapler no apparently not. They'll be nearby but it will just be me and DH X

42andtryingforfirst · 19/05/2023 20:10

@jpclarke @Unicorn2023 @Madeintowerhamlets @PeopleAreShit thank you for your supportive messages. I appreciate you reaching out x

Emmamoo89 · 19/05/2023 20:18

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sending all my love and hugs xx

Sapphire387 · 19/05/2023 20:34

I am so sorry to hear this. Sending you strength for tomorrow.

ohfook · 19/05/2023 20:50

I'm so sorry you're going through this. If it helps just know you're not alone.

I was further along than you, but if felt to me like the early stages of Labour without the intense pushing part.

Like a pp said it's a day, a really shit day, but you'll get through it. And, while I'd do anything not to have a better understanding of how shit it can be, you'll find that next time someone is talking to you about their miscarriage you won't shy away from saying the things that may help them because you'll know what would've comforted you.