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Original poster

Baby Shower - are you having one?

37 replies

glitterbird · 18/02/2008 19:06

my Australian sister in law wants to host a baby shower for me apparently its the norm over there, I am not really sure as I have never been to one before and all feels a bit foreign. She just wants me to give her a list of people a list of gifts I would like but I am not sure I really feel comfortable asking for presents in this way. On the flip side it would be fun to see all my mates for afternoon tea before the birth What are all your opinions?

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ThePFJ · 18/02/2008 19:14

Go for it!
How often do you get treated like that!
And you can always tell her not to make presents compulsary. I would love a baby shower...
You only live once!

Haylstones · 18/02/2008 19:16

I'd love one but would feel uncomfortable with the gift list tbh. I'd compromise by giving her all your friends names and having a get together with some yummy food etc (if people want to buy a present they can)

LeonieD · 18/02/2008 19:20

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K27 · 18/02/2008 19:21

My friends threw me a surprise one and it was lovley. Had lots of nice food, pressies and my sister had arranged lots of 'baby shower' games.
Guess the famous baby names
Pin the dummy on the baby
How well do you know mummy quiz
Predict the baby's sex, weight and due date.
Was a nice get together!

Original poster
glitterbird · 18/02/2008 19:35

wow I did not know there were games involved!! sounds like my hen night without the booze. I guess it will be lovely to see everyone before the big day but I don't have to have a compulsory gift list. thanks for the positive feedback . my sister in law is very excited about the prospect of being an aunty and she I guess this is her way of getting involved. How far in advance of the birth are they normally held?

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Chipstick · 18/02/2008 19:35

Makes me cringe a little to be honest - too american, too ott. Even if it said presents not obligatory, I would feel obliged.

To me a baby shower is a gift giving get together.

Mum2b2BabyRoo · 18/02/2008 20:38

It's a very South African tradition to have a baby shower as well and I love them - and soon hopefully I will be having mine! It's really lovely to be there for your friend shortly before she gives birth and its a last get together for her with all her mates for a while too! Bonus is getting gifts for you and baby - so all I say is ENJOY!!

MrsTittleMouse · 18/02/2008 20:41

Sorry, but I hate them. Any party where you are invited solely for the purpose of buying the recipient a gift stinks in my opinion.
So there!

micegg · 18/02/2008 20:58

I wouldnt as its not something we do here (generally speaking). I went to one organised for a French girl I know (I assume they must do them) and all felt as though we were being forced into buying presents that we perhaps wouldnt have otherwise done.

If it were me I would explain the situation to SIL and suggest a get together without the gift list and not to name it a baby shower. Its very nice of her to want to do this for you so I think a compromise would be good.

Pinchypants · 19/02/2008 11:39

I had a very English baby shower-ish thing first time round - my sis invited my best girlfriends and the prospective grandmas over, we sat in the garden and had pink champagne and loads of lovely homemade cakes, gossiped, read baby magazines and had a lovely time. Everyone did bring a little pressie for me or the baby, but we didn't expect or ask for them. Am planning to arrange a similar casual girlie get-together this summer before number two arrives as well - was just a really lovely occasion. Have also organised similar things for friends who loved it. We didn't do games or anything. If someone wants to organise a baby shower for you then say yes, but if you feel unhappy about a gift list just miss this bit out. Have fun!

Amberc · 19/02/2008 12:56

I went to one for my friend a few weeks ago and it was lovely - the best bit was the gift opening part - there's nothing nicer than watching someone open a gift that you've bought them. And when they're all for the baby everything's cute and everyone got misty eyed. Most people who are close enough to be invited would probably get you a pressie anyway after the baby is born so I guess more practical to have it beforehand. I'm definitely going to have one - I won't provide a list though so people can spend whatever they want from a baby's bottle to a mobile or clothes.

MaeWest · 19/02/2008 13:03

One of my best mates organised one for me - all I had to do was turn up at her house, she had invited friends (& my mum), made cake and fruit punch, and even planned some games (she is not a Brit ). It was lovely actually, and I didn't have a gift list as that made me feel v uncomfortable. Instead she asked me what we had already got and left it up to those coming whether they wanted to bring a present. Most people did, but just small things.

It was a really lovely get together

finallypregnant · 19/02/2008 16:40

I say enjoy it and have some girlie fun although I'd be a bit funny about presents but I was the same when we got married and donated to charity instead!

Original poster
glitterbird · 19/02/2008 17:40

thanks for all the responses there is always such a mix of opinions . I am still having a think about it all and if I go ahead I will definately omit the gift list as does make me feel very uncomfortable. It would be lovely to see everyone before the event as I know I will not really have the time for along time afterwards. Another option i thought of instead of the babyshower thing was to have a small house party that way DH and his mates/friends partners could come too so may even do that

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jammi · 20/02/2008 11:26

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sleepycat · 20/02/2008 11:31

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swmum · 20/02/2008 14:12

I'm having one. Think they are a lovely idea. And all the people you will invite are friends so they will surely want to buy you a gift anyway? What I would say is don't do a list as such - just let people buy you whatever they want. Any excuse for a nice party I say and you can return the favour for other friends/sister in law when they have their babies.
Lots of people have birthday parties every year and get pressies from mates - this is a much more special and rare occassion. Don't analyse it too much - just enjoy being spoilt.

PrePG · 20/02/2008 14:39

Wow, MrsTittleMouse that's a harsh opinion - baby showers are not soley occasions to buy presents, although most people do. In the same vein people are invited to a wedding (in which a gift list card is usually included in the invite!) or a birthday party.

I would say have go ahead and have fun! It's really just a lovely get together for you and your friends. And, as one of my British friends says, After Sex and the City everyone wants to have one!

mom2latinoboys · 20/02/2008 14:54

I've had two showers (one for each). The first one I got enough clothes for 9 months, stroller, cradle, crib, swing, bouncer, you name it I got it. Oh and a months worth of diapers

The second one was a few little outfits and diapers.

They were both mostly the women in my life getting together, to eat and spend time together.

I look at it like a pay it forward event. When I give baby shower gifts I usually give what has helped me. A few outfits for each age range, diapers, wipes, blanket and a towel.

mom2latinoboys · 20/02/2008 14:55

Oh and a list is necessary. It saves you from getting four diaper genies (which I did get), but it also made me sit down and think about what I would need for a baby which as a first time mom, I had no clue.

MrsTittleMouse · 20/02/2008 14:56

It's the same reason why we didn't include a gift list in our wedding invitations!
Seriously though, I think that inviting someone to a party so that they can buy you a gift, even if that's not the main reason, isn't a polite thing to do. I suppose that you could say that a gift is optional, but if everyone is sat around and you open each gift from each guest individually (which is what generally happens), then you would stick out like a sore thumb if you didn't take anything.
I can see the attraction in a pre-birth party where you get together with your friends and have a good laugh while you still have the time and energy, but that isn't what we're talking about.

bebejones · 20/02/2008 15:39

I've felt under pressure to have a baby shower from friends and work colleagues and really didnt like the idea of asking for presents. So my husband and I decided we would just have a big pre baby BBQ (baby is due in July) and invite friends and family and just have a fun time! If people want to bring gifts it's up to them but I won't be asking for them! It was also important to me that my other half was involved as it is our first baby and I think it is important for him to be a part of the celebrations.

Lennsuey · 20/02/2008 16:07

I agree with sleepycat, it's best to wait until after the birth for gifts if that's what you want. Personally I'd rather have a girly get together afterwards to consume all that wine i missed out on over the past 9 months!! Sod the presents!

charlotte121 · 20/02/2008 23:24

I would love a baby shower!!! most of my friends are at uni so live ages away and it would be awsome to be able to have a bit of girly fun before the baby was born. I wouldnt want ne gifts tho... maybe you could sujest each person brings something nice to eat rather than a gift.. like some jammy doughnuts or nice cream cakes

nappyaddict · 20/02/2008 23:28

it's no different to having a birthday party though is it except for you are celebrating the upcoming birth of a baby rather than a birthday? i wouldn't provide a gift list or expect presents, but i think a nice little get together sounds lovely.

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