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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Baby Shower - are you having one?

37 replies

glitterbird · 18/02/2008 19:06

my Australian sister in law wants to host a baby shower for me apparently its the norm over there, I am not really sure as I have never been to one before and all feels a bit foreign. She just wants me to give her a list of people a list of gifts I would like but I am not sure I really feel comfortable asking for presents in this way. On the flip side it would be fun to see all my mates for afternoon tea before the birth What are all your opinions?

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nappyaddict · 20/02/2008 23:32

call it a pre-baby party if you feel calling it a baby shower would make people obliged to buy a present.

KacyB · 20/02/2008 23:35

I'd love to have a baby shower too - same reasons as Charlotte - all my friends live miles away....

Totally not bothered about pressies, but it would be great to have a girlie party. I even missed out on a hen party

mom2latinoboys · 20/02/2008 23:37

The whole point of the shower really is the presents though. Everyone knows baby shower=gifts. The point is to be given the things that you need before the birth of the baby. People are supposed to "shower" you with gifts.

KacyB · 20/02/2008 23:43

Oh, go on then... I guess I could just about cope with the gifts too...

Uki · 21/02/2008 08:50

I think if someone is offering to have one for you. It might be rude not to, I don't think you can have one for yourself IYKWIM.

I'm Aussie and they aren't big here, but do happen. My SIL had one, the games are great. I think if people feel uncomfortable buying presents/or about the whole thing they just will politely decline. Most people wouldn't buy a gift if they didn't want too, would they????

PrePG · 22/02/2008 11:32

Sorry to resurrect this but Uki just mentioned something that I think is kind of important. In the States we NEVER throw our own showers! It's often thrown by your mom or sister or a close friend.

Also, something that's quite nice to do if you're not big on gifts, is to ask everyone to bring a book (new or otherwise) for the new baby.

ThePFJ · 22/02/2008 11:48

Damnit. Now I want one. Someone organise me one!!!

-pines and tries to look endearing-

KacyB · 22/02/2008 21:25

Can someone tell me how baby showers work?

I would really like one - as I said, I didn't have a hen party and would love a chance for all my female friends to get together.... Can I organise it myself?

Or can I tentatively ask a friend to do it?

Or is it a case of just waiting to see if someone throws one?

MrsTittleMouse · 22/02/2008 21:40

Someone else has to throw it for you. The idea is that you're "showered" with gifts for your baby, so it's not the done thing to do it yourself. Most people have a gift list of things that they need.
I'm probably not the person to answer you though as I'm not a fan. I think that a girlie get-together is a much better idea.

Mum2b2BabyRoo · 23/02/2008 14:18

Yes someone has to throw it for you and most of the time it is meant to be a surprise for you! But as it is not a common thing here in the UK, you might want to whisper that you would like one into a friends ear! Having been to so many and having held a few for friends over the years, I am so excited to think that I might be having one soon too!

JoyS · 23/02/2008 19:48

I think baby showers are lovely, but I'm a yank. The whole point is to help new parents stock the house with everything the baby needs. You have to spend so much money on cots and pushchairs and carseats, it really helps if you've got enough vests and muslins and diapers to last a few months. I don't think they're grabby at all, having a baby is an expensive venture and it's really nice of other people to want to share it around a bit.

amitymama · 24/02/2008 12:58

I'm American and my friends here in the UK threw me a baby shower. They were the ones that offered though it wasn't a surprise as they had to make sure I would be around for the date and also because I had the biggest flat so it made sense to hold it at my place. They asked what I still needed and I emailed one of them a list of things I still hadn't gotten around to getting or could use more of as general ideas. I was the first one to have a baby so they wouldn't have had a clue what to get other than clothes! I in no way felt that anyone was obliged to bring me a gift and asked the women organising it to make that very clear to the other invitees. In the end, they all ended up just chipping in money and doing a big load up at Mothercare of everything on the idea list I provided, and then some. A few people brought something of their own that wasn't on the list and that was absolutely fine too. I didn't expect anything and it was just lovely to have all my girl friends around for a nice day together.

If it's "too American" to want to help your friends out and pamper them before their baby is born, well...I guess I'm too American! I've thrown showers for many friends over the years and never felt obligated or put out because of it. If you get an invite to a shower and don't feel it's your thing, just don't go! And if you want to go but don't want to get a gift, that's not a big deal either. You could just give the mum-to-be a card with a lovely letter about her impending motherhood in it, or a poem, or something. That will be just as meaningful to her as any toy or bath set would be.

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