I delivered my baby myself at home - AMA

[notyouraverageuser]

I only have positive things to say about my labour/birth, and with it also being a fairly unusual scenario I thought I'd offer to share some insight for anyone considering a home birth, or just anyone curious in general. So feel free to ask anything. :-)

Congrats, OP! Was this your first baby? (Sorry if I've missed you answering that one already.)

I gave birth at home 'alone' too (just with DH) before the midwives/paramedics arrived - also unplanned; my midwife just couldn't get there in time. In my big roll-top bath. Hands down my best birth (and I've had several other home births and a couple in hospital, too.)

Very weirdly, I had a strong intuition/premonition throughout my pregnancy that I might give birth unattended, and read a lot of birthing stories of women who ended up giving birth in the absence of medical professionals, so I felt very informed and prepared when it then did happen to me! I still find that premonition very strange...

HE says this all the time (half-jokingly), and it REALLY annoys me!

Freebirthing is considerably more risky than homebirth.

You admit in your posts that you actively intended to freebirth if the situation arose.

I think a homebirth is brilliant and actively support it. What I can't get onboard with is intending to freebirth if homebirth options were unavailable.

That's just reckless. More to create a thread to encourage others to do similar.

It's dreadful that homebirthing services are so appallingly underfunded and understaffed, however I still can't support this.

Well done OP. I attend homebirths as a midwife and this happens a lot with second and subsequent babies; in particular second babies often come very quickly. With my own second baby, the midwife got there 13 minutes before she was born and I was very grateful that she made it but I'm sure it would have been fine anyway. Much better for a baby to be born "unattended" at home than in the car by the side of the road.

I should stress you had the stats for homebirths not freebirths.

That matters.

The two are not the same thing

You were so well organised! Well done!

And it was your first! I think that’s such a beautiful start to motherhood. My first labour was so long and exhausting. It sounds like it all went just the way it should.
Ok. On to number two, OP. 😁

Amazing, and congratulations! It definitely does require a fair amount of prep as I'm sure you'll agree with, but if goes to plan it truly is a magical experience.

And it's great that you were able to make the choices that led you to feeling empowered! That's a really important part of the experience too.

Aniball, YES! I would recommend to everyone! Hypnobirthing... I wouldn't say I did it specifically but I was used to training very intensely in the gym and so the years of practicing that focus carried over into labour I would say.

I read a lot of positive birth stories to get my head in the right place that good experiences were very much possible. And then I did A LOT more research into statistics of basically everything risk/benefit wise. Also a lot of visualisation, whenever I got the chance I just repeatedly envisaged what it would all be like. The whole experience demonstrated, to me at least, how crucial mindset is.

My second baby very nearly ended up being an unplaned home birth. I really think had I not got in the car when I did then I wouldn't have been able to move. The second stage was so powerful I wasn't even pushing, my body was just doing it for me. The midwives took one look at me waddling onto the labour ward and put me straight in a delivery room no questions asked. I'd left it a bit late because my first labour had been so long and disappointing.

I had opted for hospital births both times but there's no way with my first that the baby would've come out unaided unfortunately.

Freebirthing if you're uninformed, unprepared, and not trained to recognise or manage complications, particularly if you're aware you're at an increased risk of potential issues, is certainly more risky. As it was, I/we were none of those things, as so as states in the OP am in a fairly unusual situation.

You've interpreted this thread as me encouraging freebirthing, somehow. I invited questions on my homebirth, citing it as a positive experience. In response to a question I did state that I would have freebirthed in a particular scenario, but that as it turns out was hypothetical. I've not encouraged anyone to do anything other that their research regardless of however they choose to birth, so you're quite a way off the mark if you think I'm telling people to give freebirthing a thought.

I’m pro homebirth and actively encourage choice so whatever floats your boat as long as you’re well informed
however the comment about free birth being more risky if you’re not trained to manage complications. Exactly what training is available to women to manage obstetric emergencies? Really🤔I don’t think women should be reassuring themselves that they’re somehow as skilled as HCP to manage complications

I agree with @RedToothBrush completely.

There's a certain arrogance in the suggestion that you would have been able to manage any complications that arose. When you're in pain and the situation becomes dangerous quickly, I don't know how you can confidently say you'd have managed every eventuality during a free birth, even as a HCP.

Saying that you had planned to free birth should the option of a home birth not have been available is reckless in my opinion.

Were you able to monitor if the baby was in distress and things like that? My mum had a fast labour with me and I ended up in distress, with a forceps delivery necessary.

I just find it odd that knowing how many women died in childbirth in centuries past, indeed still do in the developing world, that anyone would choose something as medieval and risky as a free birth, when we are fortunate to have far safer options.

Apologies if I've missed the answer to this somewhere, someone asked how were you prepared for haemorrhage?

Also same for a resus situation? How / what did you have to be prepared for that?

What are yours and your partners roles as HCPs?

"Things going wrong such as what? If you can be more specific in what you would be concerned about I can provide a better answer."

Anything really that might results in long term serious damage to you or the baby. For example it could include:

A problem with the babies heart rate that you are unable to detect.

Perinatal asphyxia

Shoulder dystocia

Hemorrhage or serious bleeding

Abnormal presentation

Umbilical cord prolapse

Umbilical cord compression

Placenta abruption

That sort of thing

What a great experience OP. I desperately wanted a home birth but 2 out of 3 births were highly medicalized and had to be in hospital. I do regret not doing it with DC2 though as I had no pain relief and left hospital within a few hours of birth, so might as well have stayed at home

@DumbPrinceAndHisStupidWife

My mum had a fast labour with me and I ended up in distress, with a forceps delivery necessary

The thing is with statements like this is that you just don’t know what the outcome would have been if or if the situation would even have still happened at home. A lot of the usual complications are less likely to happen at home in the first place.

My mum was forced to give birth on her back because of hospital policy at the time and wasn’t allowed to change positions at all and was coached to push, found the whole thing very painful and had a haemorrhage after. I’d argue that she probably would have been safer at home and probably wouldn’t have haemorrhaged.

Wow! Very brave.

Congratulations 💐glad it went well.

Thank you so much for your reply! I haven’t actually given birth yet, but will be in a few weeks.

My friend that had a homebirth used an Aniball too. So whilst my initial thought was to be a bit horrified by the idea, I’m coming around to the idea that I would train for anything else in life so why not labour!
It’s so interesting to me that you bring up exercise as a training in mindset for labour. I also am used to training very intensely and have trained for fast marathon times and have pushed myself though pain, vomiting etc to achieve a goal to the point that I’ve run on broken bones without knowing it. I’m hoping that some of that focus will be useful during labour - but at the moment it’s still such a black box to me!

@PinkPlantCase I'm not a HCP but I'm presuming the outcomes for a baby in distress might not be brilliant.

The first thing that came up when googling was:

Fetal distress can have lasting effects on your baby. Prolonged lack of oxygen during delivery can lead to brain injury, cerebral palsy or even stillbirth. If your baby is in distress, your provider will make every attempt to deliver your baby safely and before severe complications arise.

So yeah, I'm kind of glad my mum didn't attempt a free birth at home. She always said she wanted to have hospital births because she wanted to be there for immediate help should anything go wrong. I think that's a hell of a lot more sensible than anyone admitting they'd have been prepared to free birth. It's not the same as a planned home birth at all.

I'd have thought that practices in hospital these days are better than forcing women to give birth on their backs. So your mother's experience however many years ago isn't really comparable to hospitals today.

I'm well aware that hospitals are far from ideal. But overall they are considerably safer than choosing to free birth alone.

Agree with this.

You were lucky.

You can't mitigate the risk of haemorrhaging.

Glad alls well but you took a huge risk.

The stats are more worrying for first time births than those who are having a second or third after already experiencing an uncomplicated birth, did that not concern you? Also, how was your mother or sisters (if you have any) at giving birth? If they had complications would that not put you off?

I think that is amazing!

Zara Tindall gave birth to her third child on the bathroom floor with her husband, Mike, in attendance. The midwife arrived just afterwards.

You absolutely can reduce the risk. Anything that reduces the risk of tearing reduces the risk of haemorrhage due to tearing for example.