Page 3 | I delivered my baby myself at home - AMA

notyouraverageuser · 2023-04-15T13:47:56+00:00

I only have positive things to say about my labour/birth, and with it also being a fairly unusual scenario I thought I'd offer to share some insight for anyone considering a home birth, or just anyone curious in general. So feel free to ask anything. :-)

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Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 15/04/2023 16:53

I had mitigated the risk of hemorrhaging as best I could pre-labour

How do you mitigate against haemorrhaging before labour?

Also, as I said before, was it a free birth you wanted? Or are you unwilling to say that, knowing it might trigger posters criticism?

Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 15/04/2023 16:54

Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 15/04/2023 16:53

I had mitigated the risk of hemorrhaging as best I could pre-labour

How do you mitigate against haemorrhaging before labour?

Also, as I said before, was it a free birth you wanted? Or are you unwilling to say that, knowing it might trigger posters criticism?

Just seen you and swerved the free birth query.

Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 15/04/2023 16:55

Answered. Not swerved. Ugh. Typos.

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 16:57

DumbPrinceAndHisStupidWife · 15/04/2023 16:07

To be frank, I think you were just lucky that things didn't go wrong and it's not really a situation I would want to play Russian Roulette in.

I personally don't know why anyone would choose a homebirth if they don't live incredibly close to a hospital. And true free birthers, which it doesn't sound like you are OP, are reckless IMO.

I'm glad that both you and baby came through it all ok.

Home birthing isn't for everyone and it's great that it's only an option as I know the majority of people wouldn't feel comfortable.

I agree that labouring with no knowledge, preparation, planning, training or experience is reckless. Thankfully I think those are rare scenarios and most people who homebirth do so after a lot of consideration, safety netting and support.

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:00

TheVanguardSix · 15/04/2023 16:09

Congratulations by the way. And honestly, after each of my births I just desperately wanted to be home in bed with them, not spending a sleepless night on a ward.

Also, how was your postnatal care (heel prick test, hearing check/paediatric check)? Did home birth affect the delivery of that service or was it prompt and satisfactory?

I can imagine once everything settles down a couple of hours after delivery that you're very much ready to leave for home comforts!

None of the postnatal care was impacted to be fair, in fact a midwife came to do the initial check later that same day even though we were told it would be the following day. Everything else followed on as intended.

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MysteryBelle · 15/04/2023 17:02

Whoa. Congratulations. I admire you. You’re one of those women who could deal with any situation or historical pioneer woman LOL

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:02

Gandalfsdaughter · 15/04/2023 16:12

Congrats - glad all went well.
I too delivered my baby at home, together with dh and no-one else there. Not planned just a super speedy delivery … loved it ❤️

Yay! I'm glad it was such a positive experience for you too! How does DH recall the experience, does he speak highly of it?

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:06

herlightmaterials · 15/04/2023 16:25

What a horrible question.

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It's okay, I had similar remarks when I was pregnant. If someone has never done independent research into homebirthing vs hospital births, I understand where the belief that one has significantly lower risk than the other comes from. Some people prefer a medical setting and others not so, and thank goodness there is often a choice. :-)

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:08

PopsicleHustler · 15/04/2023 16:27

Congratulations qnd a big well done.

I was considering a home birth with baby number 6 early this year but ended up in hospital and had an emergency c section so all in all its a good job I didn't have the home birth. Only God knows what would have happened.

I'm sorry things didn't go as planned, hopefully you're recovering from the C section well? I

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:13

PopsicleHustler · 15/04/2023 16:29

What were your pain relief options? Or did you just try and breathe and cope, if so you are a superstar!

I'd hired a TENS machine and used that from the beginning, and I had planned for the gas and air but obviously that didn't arrive 😂 very loud music through my headphones and a lot of growling! I'd also been using one of those devices that supposedly help train you so that you don't tear, which I genuinely think helped when it came to managing the sensation of birthing the head!

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:14

notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:13

I'd hired a TENS machine and used that from the beginning, and I had planned for the gas and air but obviously that didn't arrive 😂 very loud music through my headphones and a lot of growling! I'd also been using one of those devices that supposedly help train you so that you don't tear, which I genuinely think helped when it came to managing the sensation of birthing the head!

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@PopsicleHustler Oh and I had a pool but I didn't get in that till around 30 minutes before delivery.

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:15

clarysagelavender · 15/04/2023 16:30

Aw I did this too OP, my second baby (third I had midwives for 6 minutes). I was booked with midwives second time but I just never felt the need to call.

Hands down the best moment of my life when my body birthed her.

I wish I could go back and relive the experience again so I know exactly how you feel!

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philautia · 15/04/2023 17:19

Congratulations!! That sounds like an amazing birth experience.

I would love to have a home birth with my current pregnancy as I was induced but failed to progress and ended up with an emergency section at a big city hospital.

I put it down to the fact that I was on an induction ward having my waters broken and pessaries inserted and listening to others going through the same thing while men idled around the room. There was no privacy and I absolutely hated it. I hated the whole experience.

Sorry if you've already mentioned this but where in the house did you labour and where did you ultimately deliver? Did you have any pain relief?

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:23

1AngelicFruitCake · 15/04/2023 16:32

How would you have felt if you’d have to have baby in hospital with intervention?

Birth is such an emotive subject. Before my eldest I read lots about women such as yourself who ‘birthed’ naturally at home or even in nature (I got really into the free birthing thing!) Unfortunately despite me having a easy pregnancy I had complications, losing a lot of blood. My husband still won’t talk about what he saw/exactly what happened. I felt such a failure for a long time. I think women who have babies at home make a brave choice and are lucky if it all goes well. I was lucky to walk out with my baby at the end of it all. I read your posts with a memory of what I hoped it would be like and I’m so glad I’ve come to accept that no matter the birth you have, it ultimately doesn’t matter.

You're right in that most importantly, mother and baby are alive. And I'm sorry you had such a traumatic experience.

I can't tell you how I'd have felt because I've not been there, and whilst I can try to imagine, I'm sure it wouldn't scratch the surface of how it would have felt. I do know that I am grateful to have had a positive experience though and I'm aware that is more than a lot of women will say - not always due to life or death scenarios but because their choices weren't respected, they felt coerced, violated, etc.

Homebirthing does come with its own set of risks but so does a hospital birth. I chose those that I felt most comfortable with taking given the uniqueness of my circumstances and thankfully it was right for us.

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:30

Guessthevoice · 15/04/2023 16:32

I planned a home birth for my first baby as I had a real fear of hospitals. Luckily we were ten minutes from a hospital and at a time where ambulances arrived within minutes as my baby had a true knot and had to be rushed to hospital where I had emergency section under general anaesthetic and luckily she was able to be resuscitated and otherwise healthy. There was nothing prior to birth to alert me to this and we were really lucky my midwife was so quick to contact hospital at the first sign there was a problem. I had my second baby under elected section and would never advise anyone to have a home birth after my experience. I am pleased for those who have had happy home births but in my experience those mums are always so positive about home births, and stories about where things go wrong are rarer so just trying to give both sides.

And this is why it's so vital that someone decides which risks they're comfortable with. It's not always sunshine and rainbows with a homebirth, but then neither is it in hospital either.

People are always inclined to share negative stories, particularly around birth, moreso than positive I have found, and probably for good reason (like providing warning). Positive birth stories were one of the things that swayed me around from an elective C section so I know how powerful they can be in providing confidence; amongst a community of expectant mothers I wanted to try and provide insight from a positive experience, and thankfully there is a good mix of opinion here to help someone think about both sides.

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tara66 · 15/04/2023 17:31

Did you know the baby's head/baby itself was small enough not to need 'the cut'( whatever the surgical name is) before you decided?

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:32

Switchwitch · 15/04/2023 16:33

How far away from the hospital are you? We have two hospitals about an hour either way so I never felt we could opt for a home birth, if things did go wrong I felt an hour was just far too long.

20 minutes to the nearest labour suite, with an ambulance station 60 seconds down the road. I'd already calculated that it would be faster to get in the car at the first sign of concern than call 999 though.

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:34

Littlefuz · 15/04/2023 16:35

This happened to me with all 3 of my DC, all shot out in less than half an hour. I found it absolutely terrifying that something could go wrong, but the experience itself was absolutely lovely!

It's a very black and white experience I think... either it was incredible if it went well or horrific if it didn't. But then I think the same could be said for most births irrespective of location.

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newmum93 · 15/04/2023 17:38

Congratulations!!!
I have just recently had my first as a homebirth and it was the most amazing experience. I did all my research, practiced hypo birthing and asked for minimal input from midwives. It was amazing!

I'm so pleased you were able to have such a positive homebirth experience!

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:40

Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 15/04/2023 16:53

I had mitigated the risk of hemorrhaging as best I could pre-labour

How do you mitigate against haemorrhaging before labour?

Also, as I said before, was it a free birth you wanted? Or are you unwilling to say that, knowing it might trigger posters criticism?

I think I've been quite clear about what was intentional and what wasn't. If I was unwavering in my decision prior to the event when I was being criticised in person by people whose opinions I respect, I don't know why you'd think I'd be too concerned about what some anonymous internet users thought about a decision I can't change.

I intentionally homebirthed, without the attendance of midwives due to timing. I would have free birthed had the service been suspended, but it wasn't so I did, although it ultimately ended up being the same situation. So call it what you will.

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:42

Ithurtsthebackofmyeyes · 15/04/2023 16:55

Answered. Not swerved. Ugh. Typos.

No problem, evidently I didn't see your follow up before mine either so call us even. 😉

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:47

MysteryBelle · 15/04/2023 17:02

Whoa. Congratulations. I admire you. You’re one of those women who could deal with any situation or historical pioneer woman LOL

Thank you but nothing extraordinary about me. I just followed what felt right and thankfully it was. Humans are stronger than they often think, physically and mentally.

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CityKity · 15/04/2023 17:51

I’m in awe of women like you to be honest. I have a friend who had a very rapid homebirth with midwife’s not arriving on time either.

I’m a FTM and if I’m being honest I am just too risk averse to choose a home birth but I can truly see how doing something so intimate at home would be a far better experience and ultimately avoid the stress and distraction of a hospital setting that could negatively impact labour.

Can you tell us more about the prep that you did? Did you use an Aniball? Hypnobirthing etc? Even though I’ll be in hospital I’d love some tips for such an easy labour!

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:52

philautia · 15/04/2023 17:19

Congratulations!! That sounds like an amazing birth experience.

I would love to have a home birth with my current pregnancy as I was induced but failed to progress and ended up with an emergency section at a big city hospital.

I put it down to the fact that I was on an induction ward having my waters broken and pessaries inserted and listening to others going through the same thing while men idled around the room. There was no privacy and I absolutely hated it. I hated the whole experience.

Sorry if you've already mentioned this but where in the house did you labour and where did you ultimately deliver? Did you have any pain relief?

I'm sorry, this was the sort of experience I was referring to earlier when I said it can be negative or even traumatic without it being a life or death situation.

Earlier on in the labour I was rocking on a ball in the living room. Then DP set up the pool in there and I think I was either wandering around or on my hands and knees on the sofa. I said I needed to shower before the midwives arrived as I felt all sweaty and didn't want anyone coming near me without freshening up, and got 2 stairs up and "got stuck" 😂 one foot 2 steps higher than the other. That's where I transitioned, and then I aborted the shower idea and got in the pool (which is where DC was born).

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notyouraverageuser · 15/04/2023 17:54

tara66 · 15/04/2023 17:31

Did you know the baby's head/baby itself was small enough not to need 'the cut'( whatever the surgical name is) before you decided?

I'm quite happy to admit I'd been using a device designed to help 'stretch' you (and control how to push). I knew I could push out something quite large so although I didn't know how big DCs head was, I didn't have any concerns by the time labour happened. 😂

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