Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Am I being stupid? 26 and pregnant

36 replies

KellyM1998 · 06/02/2023 20:13

26
been with partner 8 years
brought house together
both have secure jobs
-if you knew the above about someone would you be asking if their pregnancy was ‘planned’ ?

I told my friends today and I’ve been asked by one if the pregnancy was planned..
im not going to lie, it’s hurt a bit…
am I being stupid? Is 26 really too young to be pregnant nowadays???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BraveFaceScaredInside · 06/02/2023 20:18

Meant gently but perhaps you are overthinking it? Congratulations

SouthwestSis · 06/02/2023 20:22

Mostly I don't think people can usually afford to have a baby at your age so maybe that's why this person was surprised,
But good for you and congratulations if you're where you want to be in life, don't let it take the shine off your happiness.

Original poster

KellyM1998 · 06/02/2023 20:27

Yes, that’s a good point. Thank you 😊

OP posts:

Original poster

KellyM1998 · 06/02/2023 20:28

Maybe! Trying not to let it bother me, thank you!

OP posts:

CE1993 · 06/02/2023 20:31

I also had people asking me if my pregnancy was planned when I started to tell people.

I’m 29, live with my partner who I’ve been with for 12 years and we both have stable jobs. Tbh I found it quite rude when people asked that, but perhaps I’m too sensitive 😂

ChloeN · 06/02/2023 20:32

I’m 24, planned pregnancy and have been asked so many times if it’s an accident or people assuming it was a ‘big surprise’ I just find the whole thing really random and don’t think people should be asking that in the first place!

Original poster

KellyM1998 · 06/02/2023 20:35

I was a bit shocked and started questioning whether I was ‘too young’ but not everyone knows personal circumstances. I’ve always wanted to have children at a younger age …

OP posts:

Original poster

KellyM1998 · 06/02/2023 20:35

Yes I’m finding it strange, I will be 27 when baby is born, it was planned but I just felt a bit annoyed when asked, especially as it was a close friend who asked me !

OP posts:

ChloeN · 06/02/2023 20:36

@KellyM1998 honestly I don’t think you’re too young in the slightest! I think it depends where you live too, in my area lots of people are having children around my age!

K37529 · 06/02/2023 20:41

Ive been asked with all 3 of my pregnancies 😂 I don't think anything is meant by it just a question people tend to ask pregnant women, don't read too much into it

Original poster

KellyM1998 · 06/02/2023 20:41

Thank you! Yes that is a very good point - congratulations on your pregnancy!

OP posts:

Original poster

KellyM1998 · 06/02/2023 20:41

Thank you, I think I’m just being sensitive…

OP posts:

CE1993 · 06/02/2023 20:42

Exactly, everyone’s different and I wouldn’t say 26 is too young at all.

I’m not married so I sometimes wonder if that triggers some of the questions for me, either way it’s just a weird question.

Original poster

KellyM1998 · 06/02/2023 20:51

I’m engaged but not married yet, we were thinking of doing it before baby arrives but I’m not really bothered…

I understand I am probably younger than the ‘average’ first time mum but I suppose you know when the time is right

OP posts:

ThomasinaLivesHere · 06/02/2023 21:18

Sometimes people just say things without much thought and they would say the same to anyone who was pregnant who hadn’t told them they were trying.

I was 34/35 with my son and people asked us or said things which made it clear that they thought like that. Ironically I wondered if because I was older had people assumed I never wanted kids. So age can work both ways in asking that question.

We weren’t engaged and Iived in a small flat so maybe that was why.

mrxrsx · 06/02/2023 21:30

I don’t think 26 is that young no. My mum had me at 27 and a lot of people I grew up with seemed to have their kids late twenties-early 30’s+

ScrantonDunderMifflin · 06/02/2023 21:37

So bloody rude of someone to be asking this.
It's none of their business and let's say it hadn't been planned, why do some people feel they're entitled to know this?

JG24 · 06/02/2023 22:00

I'm 35 and been with my partner for 10 years, we've got good jobs, our own house etc and we still keep getting asked if it was planned. I think if you don't constantly talk about how you want a baby prior to getting pregnant people just presume it's not planned. Nothing to do with age

BabyB2022 · 07/02/2023 03:12

Congratulations. I was 30 with my first and currently pregnant with my second at 33. I've been asked a couple of times with both if it's planned. I don't think it's appropriate but also don't think people always mean what they say/think before they say it, so I wouldn't read into it.

marleyandme · 07/02/2023 09:17

27 and pregnant and have had that question a lot too despite being married and having a house and dogs together and being with my husband for nearly 6 years.
I don't think it's meant as a judgement, I think it's more a badly phrased way of asking how you feel about it and is it what you were hoping for.
Everyone seems to question everything when you're pregnant and it's hard to not take it personally but I honestly think people are just trying to make conversation.
I've already had grandparents asking what I'm doing about work and recounting when they were in this position the woman would essentially quit work and only go back part time when their child starts school which I found offensive initially even discussing it but realised everyone has to relate it to them in some way and especially with generational differences they just don't understand what it's like now.
It's tough not to take it personally though!

leanneb94 · 07/02/2023 10:27

I'm 28, been with my partner for 3 years, bought a house together 2 years ago and almost everyone has asked this question. Close friends and family I didnt mind asking as I'll be honest I've always said I never wanted children and this baby wasn't planned but became a happy surprise. The people I'm not close to such as work colleagues I found it rude to be asked

Dinosaurpoopy · 07/02/2023 10:43

I'm 25, married, own a house and been together 10 years

My sisters reaction when I told her about my second was oh shit what are you going to do 😂get used to being judged as a parent I'm afraid! Everyone has an opinion xx

Parkopedia · 07/02/2023 11:17

I think it's just an insensitive comment, I wouldn't read too much into it. You say partner so I assume you're not married? In that case then pregnancy is more of a surprise to people and

Parkopedia · 07/02/2023 11:19

Accidentally pressed post!

And 'unplanned' springs to mind (even though it's 2023 fgs)

I was pregnant at 28, not married but with partner for years, good jobs, mortgage, dog etc. DD was very much wanted and planned and I still got asked!

Luna57 · 07/02/2023 14:01

I had my first at 27 was pregnant at 26. No one asked me was that planned. I’m married nearly 29 and pregnant with my second after 2 miscarriages and my mum asked was this a whoopsie. Take it with a pinch of salt. The person who asked you mustn’t be in the same head space as you and can only think at both your ages it would be unplanned

Flip

1 2