Pregnant at 39. Please can I have positive stories?

[OrionNebula]

Hi,

Just got a positive test. I'm 39, DD is 3.5. I stopped taking the pill last year and it was very much a "see what happens" kind of thing... anyway now it has happened and my head is all over the place. I keep thinking I'm too old, so much can go wrong. And it may sound terrible (apologies if I offend anyone) but I am absolutely terrified of having a child with a serious disability. Also our life together with just DD has been so good, I'm afraid of everything changing.

Can I have positive stories of pregnancies and second babies in late 30s/early 40s please?

Had my second DC at nearly 39. The pregnancy was straightforward apart from placenta praevia which self corrected by the time I gave birth. Labour was quick and straightforward. And, most importantly, my baby was and is absolutely healthy and happy!

I’m 29 weeks pregnant and 39. We’ll have an almost 3yr gap. It was a big surprise and I had so many worries about my age. We’ve done all the tests and everything is fine although I know there are no guarantees. You have to think that, although the risks are greater, the odds are still very much that everything will be fine. Honestly I’ve found this pregnancy much easier, the second trimester was a dream and flew by. I’m just starting to feel big and tired again now. Hopefully this reassures you!

I had DC1 at 39 and DC2 at 45, both naturally. Both pregnancies put me at higher risk of Downs at the 12 week scan/blood tests but NIPT both times came back as low risk for Downs etc. Both pregnancies easy and uneventful. The chances are on your side/in your favour. For all the doom and gloom/statistics you read on Google you're more likely than not to have a healthy baby. Congratulations and enjoy, it's wonderful.

DC1 at 36, DC2 at 38, DC3 at 41 (nearly 42). Last two were premature (5/7 weeks) but otherwise no problems at all.

Shock 1st pregnancy I am 39 and I am 28 weeks and everything going really well no issues baby girl is happily kicking away as I type

Had my last 2 yrs ago at nearly 45. No problems at all. Did end up with a section but this was probably due to the number of babies i've had not my age - Dd was my 9th.

Had my first and only at 39. Fairly unremarkable pregnancy, she refused to come out so had a bit of forceps/ventouse action but not sure if that was due to my age? Only negative was being the same age as the grandmas at the hospital but thats probably down to the area my appointments were in ( as was seeing the bottle of methadone on the nurses unit on the ward waiting for one of the new mums - or the baby possibly).

I had my first baby at 35 (very nearly 36), and second at age 40. Got pregnant pretty quickly each time, had overall quite easy pregnancies, and healthy births. My baby girl is now 6 months, and my oldest is 4.5 years old. I was worried about balancing work and parenting on no sleep, but honestly, everything has been great. It helps to have a super supportive partner, and have access to good healthcare. I also live in Spain, where older motherhood is the norm...so know that you are in good company!

We did all the screenings, to rule out chromosomal abnormalities (tbh, I think that we wouldn't have continued the pregnancy had the baby had a serious problem). I was also super worried about how the dynamics would change—both between me and my husband, and also me and my daughter!

It did take my daughter a bit of time to adjust, but now she adores her baby sister. It helped that we had my parents come and stay for a few months after the baby was born, and my older daughter continued to go to daycare. That gave me time to really spend one-on-one with the baby while my older daughter was away. And then I always made sure that someone else had the baby so when she got home, I could fuss over her and spend some one-on-one time together. Now she isn't worried about competing for attention, and it's quite happy.

Which is all to say—even though you know you'll love your baby, all the new responsibilities that comer with a new littler person is scary! (I was terrified!) But know that it can all work out beautifully, and probably will!

DC2 was born a month before my 40th birthday. A very easy natural birth and a healthy baby.

Hi everyone as this thread has come to life again I thought I would update - DD2 was born on 2nd October, safe and healthy - we all adore her My pregnancy was definitely more difficult second time around, I was a lot more tired and had loads of anxiety around movements. But no major complications thankfully.

So far she is an easier baby than DD1 was. There have certainly been tricky moments but in general, so far she feeds better and sleeps better. Hope that lasts!

I am still anxious about juggling everything when I go back to work but I am taking the full year off so don't have to deal with that just yet.

Didn’t notice it’s a zombie thread. So glad it has all worked out so well for you. Enjoy your maternity leave. It’s likely going to be your last.

@ReadyForPumpkins oh definitely my last, I am totally done!

Am i the only one thinking 39 is no age?????

Like i'm 39 and having my first, i was too selfish, too immature to have a child before. Late 30s is not old to have a baby. I actually feel quite angry that we live in a world like this, a world where your 30s is deemed late for a baby????

Mine all over 35. Last at 39. All OK just be prepared for exhaustion. Look after yourself. Had eclampsia with first so just keep informed. Interesting 16yr old when menopausal but you have maturity to cope.

Had my one and only child 3 months before turning 39.. and if it wasn’t for my poor health I would have tried for a second child in my 40s

I had my DD at 42, totally uneventful, midwife led & she’s perfectly healthy.

Had my third a few months before my 40th birthday. She's 18 now and a delight. Had her at home in water. All went very well.

Hi everyone, baby turns 1 tomorrow and she is an absolute delight. Aside from having c section as she was breech everything went very smoothly so I can add myself to the positive stories

38 when I had my first and only, I didn’t think it was a thing to be honest being 38 it was just me having a baby. I was well all along work d full time til about ten days before due date ( was fit and not overweight if that helped and exercised throughout ) , she had to have a bit of help getting out so forceps delivery and was only little but I don’t know if that was related to my age or the size of my pelvis.

DS2 born on my 40th birthday. A lovely present. No health problems for either of us.

Glad you updated this OP, iv not long discovered that I'm pregnant with DC3 and I'm 40. Nice to read so many replies about healthy children and no judgement.
I'm a little concerned about people judging our choices to have a 3rd and also at my age 🫤

@24CRZZNKKA Don’t know your personal circumstances but in society as a whole I can’t imagine people judging you. Most people know lots of women who’ve had kids around 40 so wouldn’t stand out at all.

I conceived at 44 & 5 months. I went to the GP because I was tired and thought I had a thyroid problem. A bit of a shock to say the least !

But I had the easiest pregnancy, no nausea, worked through to 36 weeks without issue. Slightly slow labour, needed a bit of help at the end, before DS arrived, 8lb and perfect.

He's 16 now, nine GCSEs under his belt, studying three stem A'levels. He's 5'11", skinny as a rake, eats for England. I've been very lucky because it's been easy. 😊

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine.

I gave birth to my 3rd a few months past 40. Labour and delivery were very straightforward (at home). He is just amazing. The other two boys fight over who’s going to spend time with him.

im sure if I’d had kids earlier I would have been in my physical prime but, emotionally I’d have ballsed it right up.

My mum has me at 39 😊