Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Mum & Dad disappointed we found out the gender

28 replies

Soph785 · 30/01/2023 20:18

Hi,

We’ve just had our 20 week scan and decided to find out the gender. Which we are both super happy about!

We decided to tell our family but my mum said she doesn’t want to know, she wants a surprise. She is now peeved that my sisters know and has made a sarcastic comment about avoiding them for 20 weeks 😂

My dads first reaction was ‘Ahhh you found out, what a shame’.

Has anyone else had this reaction from their parents and think it’s a little selfish?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

R0ckets · 30/01/2023 20:24

It's not their surprise to have so if they find out before baby is born then honestly it's tough. What a daft thing to fixate on and your dad's comment was so incredibly rude.

I'd be very disappointed in them both.

RadicalisedByMumzNet · 30/01/2023 20:26

Ease her fears by telling her no one can possibly know the gender.

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 30/01/2023 20:26

Yes it’s selfish.
id brush it aside and maybe if they comment again tell them it’s your baby and your doing what you want!!

wyntersday · 30/01/2023 20:27

Ah, they’re horrible. Sorry OP. They’re in the wrong here. Your baby, your pregnancy, your special time. You do you and let them get on with it. Agree with PP that I’d be very disappointed in them.

paintitallover · 30/01/2023 20:29

I am a grandparent.

Without wanting to insult your parents, it really is none of their business-the gift of the baby is primarily yours .

TheCraicDealer · 30/01/2023 20:32

They got to do it their way with her pregnancies and babies, so she should zip it and respect your choices with your own kids. It’s not about her!

StampOnTheGround · 30/01/2023 20:37

My mum would have preferred if we'd had a surprise, as she did with me and loved it. We went for a private scan at 16 weeks to find out and she was just as excited as us while we waited the hour or two after to open the envelope - she didn't care that we found out instead! Your parents reactions are horrid.

PeekAtYou · 30/01/2023 20:38

They are being silly. If they find out today then they can be be surprised

SalviaOfficinalis · 30/01/2023 20:39

That is an odd reaction. Are they expecting you to keep it a secret from them? Sounds stressful as you know and other people know.

(and it is sex not gender, sorry… only sex can be observed)

Sallyh87 · 30/01/2023 20:40

That’s a really strange reaction…….I’d be tempted to just talk about as if they know but maybe that’s immature.

To give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they remember it as a really special moment when they found out and wanted you to have that too. Still weird and a bit entitled though.

Legotiger · 30/01/2023 20:42

My DM was the same, took it as a personal insult. Also got annoyed that I’d revealed DSis’s baby’s gender inadvertently - except I hadn’t because I didn’t know it! Don’t know why she thought it was her place to police whether we found out or not! You have my sympathy OP.

LindorDoubleChoc · 30/01/2023 20:44

You found out the sex of your baby.

boogiebabies · 30/01/2023 20:49

RadicalisedByMumzNet · 30/01/2023 20:26

Ease her fears by telling her no one can possibly know the gender.

😂

baxtersm · 30/01/2023 20:50

My mum was the same she really really wanted a surprise so I let her have her surprise! I found out and anyone else I told was sworn to secrecy from my Mum! Worked well for us, everyone was happy!

Yourteaisgettingcold · 30/01/2023 21:04

Not their baby, not their choice. They need to keep their opinions to themselves from now on and, if I were you, I would refrain from telling them any further details at all as they can't behave themselves.

Bryterlayter1 · 30/01/2023 21:07

My DF didn't want to know when DSis was pregnant with his first GC and asked to be kept in the dark. It didn't work because everyone else knew and we kept accidently saying "he" when talking about the baby, then tried to cover our tracks.😅

I didn't find out in advance which made him happy.

BettyOBarley · 30/01/2023 21:08

My mum said this at first. I told her I wasn't spending the next 5 months watching what I said and hiding blue clothes etc! She soon got over it.

I also had a friend who said what a shame you found out. Which pissed me off as we found out we were having a boy from the NIPT test after worrying results from the 12 week scan, so finding out was a bit of happy news from a stressful time - people can be so weird!!

LyndaSnellsSniff · 30/01/2023 21:17

We found out the sex with both our DCs but didn't tell my parents as they didn't want to know.

When my younger DSis was pregnant, she didn't find out the sex and my mum told me that DSis had "done it properly. Because you shouldn't know before the birth".

Just one of many hurtful comments my DM has thrown at me during the regular comparisons to DSis. 🙄

Twawmyarse2 · 30/01/2023 21:18

The SEX. You found out the SEX of your baby!

TheShellBeach · 30/01/2023 21:20

YABU to call it the "gender" as it is the SEX of a baby which is noted on an ultrasound scan.

catandcoffee · 30/01/2023 21:30

I suppose its because way back in time there was no finding out the sex of your baby, until birth.

Baby born....First question boy or girl .

Porridgeislife · 30/01/2023 21:34

We had “I suppose it’s quite modern to want to find out the sex of the baby”.

My MIL is lovely but passes opinion on EVERYTHING in reference to how she does things.

sunshineandshowers40 · 30/01/2023 21:37

My MIL was like this, I found it quite odd.

NoMoreAgeJokes · 30/01/2023 21:38

My DM was the same and didn’t want me to tell her if it was going to be a boy or girl.

Then she came to visit and spotted some blue muslin cloths I’d bought and forgotten to hide away 😀

WishIwasElsa · 05/04/2023 20:10

I wonder if it's because it wasn't as easy years ago and even longer ppl.definitely didn't find out. I didn't get this from anyone close buy a lot of older ppl commented it was a shame, ruined the surprise etc. Bottom line is your baby upur choice. Congrats as well 😀

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread