2 under 2

[rosiemat]

Talk to me am I crazy?

Baby girl is 7 months old now and we are thinking of starting trying for baby #2 next month when she will be 8 months.

Not expecting to fall pregnant straight away as took 7/8 months to fall pregnant initially but if I was too fall straight away that will give us a 15/16 month age gap.... am I mad??? 🤣

I would say yes you are. I would prefer to give the child you already have full attention for longer

I had two under 1! Born just under a year apart it was fine.

@SpinningFloppa
That's amazing!!! Everyone I've spoken to try's to put me off and says that I am mad for thinking that and they think I would struggle

I know things will be harder but I don't think I would struggle! 🙈

I had 4 under 5, not the plan but it was absolutely fine...if a bit crazy they are 17-21 now!!
I'd go back in a heartbeat....although it's taken my body about this amount of time to recover!!!!!!

I would wait till your baby is mobile and then see how you feel!

I personally wouldn’t have wanted a new baby with a toddler that age. My DS could walk well but still needed a lot of manhandling/ lifting / chasing etc. Very physical. I wouldn’t want to do that stage heavily pregnant either personally.

My DS is nearly 2 and I’m only just contemplating starting again.

But of course there is no right time really.

I had my Second baby in November.. 16.5 month age gap. Second baby was conceived when my first was 8 months... 7 weeks in and I'll say it's hard but my god I'm in love and feel SO happy! Go for it !! Xx

I had a 15 month gap, it was mental at times and lovely at times. Obviously very hard work, especially when they were 1&2 and 2&3, it's only now getting a bit easier! But I also love having them close in age.

I had 2 under 1.5...15 months between them. Second born October 2020 in pandemic. Not gonna lie the first 12 months was HARD! It's all a blur really. I remember when I got them to have an afternoon nap at the same time (around 6 months for DD2) and bed at the same time (around 10 months for DD2) life became a lot easier. Then after 12 months their routine was the same. We've turned a corner now with DD1 3.5 and DD2 turned two in October. They play now, DD2 is starting a preschool with DD1. They're interested in the same things and although they bicker, they entertain each other loads so I think all the hard work is paying off. Lots of my friends are planning the second now and I'm so glad I got it out the way. Short term pain for long term gain hopefully. Happy to answer any Qs you might have!

I thought the same as you. When my little one was about 6 months I thought I could go again.
But now they are 1 and running around, they are hard work.

Also I didn't expect to feel so good having my life back now I'm out of the 'baby' phase. I'm loving being back at work and having money again. Also now they are 1 it's easy for family to have them overnight so we can do weekends away etc.

I don't think I'm ready to have no fun or freedom again

I had a 16m gap with the first 2 DC and it was a slog for the first year, but now it's amazing and they're best friends

12 months between mine. It's hard, no way around that but it's all I know so can't say it's particularly any harder than a different gap. The worst part was being pregnant while looking after a baby, once DC2 arrived I felt physically better so then I feel it's just the usual parenting challenges of having two small children.

Mine weren't planned I was BF and periods returned straight away 😐 but honestly it wasn't that bad, people thought I was mad and they was often mistaken for twins (not now though) they are 11 and 10 now but they are not close.

It's the best way IMO. DD1 was 18 months when DD2 was born. It was bloody hard going for the first year/eighteen months, but they grew up very close, and still are now they're adults.
As children, it meant they were at more or less the same levels in swimming, Brownies etc, and had lots of friends in common. There wasn't too much difference in their abilities when playing games etc, and it made life much easier.
Judging by friends' experiences, having a big age gap is much harder.

Yes but you’d make it work if you had to!

going to have a 2.5 year age gap and worrying it’s too close, I think 3 years is ideal.

breastfeeding here and got pregnant a lot easier than my first so don’t expect it to take ages…

You’re unlikely to conceive in the first month, most likely to conceive within a year which would make your daughter 2-2.5 years old. You might have some mc to contend with during this time as well (fingers crossed you won’t). So go for it.

Sounds fun to me, I had three under three.

I have a 3 year age gap and will have a 2 year age gap. I prefer the 3 year one. Enough time for your body to rest etc. enjoy the time with your kids. Pregnancy isn't easy dealing with kids, nausea, back ache etc etc

I conceived my first on 2nd month, but the 2nd took 10 months. So I wouldn’t bet on a set number of months. If you conceived easily (within a year) you’ll probably conceive easily again, meaning within another year.

I was 38 and now 42, but I’d assume it was a combination of good genetics (looking at family also) + good luck, rather than age.

15.5 months between mine currently 2.5 and 1.

Definitely still in the 'hard work' stage but there is light at the end of the tunnel and there are fleeting moments when they do play together nicely!

It's a big hit financially though for childcare if you plan on going back to work. In the middle of 1 year of paying full time nursery fees for both before the 30 hours kicks in for the oldest 😬

My two have a 20 month age gap. I got pregnant number two as soon as number one turned 1. We'd been trying 3 months so could've been a smaller gap.
I won't sugar coat it, its extremely hard work. If I'd been a bit younger and with hindsight I maybe wish I'd waited until number 1 was in school. But ultimately I am glad now they're 2 and 3 that we've done it all in one go.

Fors:
You're already doing sleepless nights/nappies/baby stuff so adding another one to all that isn't half as big a shock as the first time.
Days out and things we go to- they're both more or less into the same thing. We don't have one wanting to do younger things really as they'll both happily do say CBeebies land or the park or zoo.
We only wanted two so I don't have the thought of another pregnancy still to come in the future (me and pregnancy don't mix well!)

Againsts:
Paying for two lots of childcare. Ouch.
The guilt I felt having a new baby when my first was still just a little baby.
It's bloody tiring. There's not one that's much older that can entertain themselves- they both want everything all the time and need lots of attention still at this age. I'm sure that will change as they get older though.

Took me nearly 8 years to fall pregnant with dd after ds, If I had thought for a second it would have taken that long, I would have started trying when he was a few months old.

Yes you are mad. 19 month age gap between my two. It's ok now but at the start it was really really properly hard. You're making it sound like it's a bit of a joke but I actually struggled a bit with my mental health when I had two together. You effectively have two babies at the same time. The big one can't speak or understand enough to be able to know they are getting a sibling. The whole thing is exhausting and stressful. I really honestly wouldn't out of choice. If we ever have another I will have a larger age gap. Even two years would make a huge difference developmentally for the older one.

I have three children but my younger two have a 20 month gap. The youngest was not planned. 20 months isn't the shortest gap by any means but it was tough. Gets easier as they get older. Does mean you don't really get out of the 'baby stage' but it's less of a shock to the system this way! Good luck whatever you decide xx

And my mental health did suffer.
Got PND after my son's birth so I spent the rest of the pregnancy for my youngest daughter wasn't great as I was so scared I would get it again. I didn't luckily. But my husband worked all the time so I was tired and stressed. X

@Lostmyway86 This is my exact thinking, sounds awful but we only want 2 children and would prefer to get the baby stages done now whilst we are still young 🙈 I also don't want to get out of nappy changes etc to then restart all over again

@bravelittletiger
I'm absolutely not making it a "joke" what a ridiculous thing to say. I was asking for opinions on other people who have done the same. So thanks for you opinion.