2 under 2

[rosiemat]

Talk to me am I crazy?

Baby girl is 7 months old now and we are thinking of starting trying for baby #2 next month when she will be 8 months.

Not expecting to fall pregnant straight away as took 7/8 months to fall pregnant initially but if I was too fall straight away that will give us a 15/16 month age gap.... am I mad??? 🤣

I admire you all . My baby is 7weeks and I'm really struggling with the newborn phase/ adjusting to this new normality and the thought of having 2 (small) kids terrifies me 🙃 I think i'm a bit traumatised personally. But it's comforting to see that things do get better and people manage with more than one! 🌺 all the best

I have a 19m gap. It has been hard but they're good friends now at 1.5 and 3.

Hardest bits:

• DD stopped breastfeeding the second I fell pregnant. She was 10.5 months and I felt devastated that I didn't make it to a year and that I didn't consider that properly. She did go back on it until 13 m but only once a day.

• pregnancy with a young toddler who still needs carried up and down the stairs. Exhausting. It was lockdown too so all we could do was go for walks, except I had pelvic pain so couldn't walk particularly far.

• turns out 19m is the prime age for arsehole behaviour. Have recently found my son having the same tantrums his sister had when he was born. I had put it down to him coming along. But I remember having a stand-off in the park with the two of them age 1m and 20m about leaving. She point blank refused to get in the pram. Or walk. Or hold my hand. Just stood screaming. Have recently been having the exact same battles! She started speaking properly at 2 and once she could communicate better things got better.

• they have plenty of sibling fights. DS can be pretty violent and doesn't realise wooden toys hurt when thrown! So that has been a bit of a learning curve.

• there are still plenty of places I can't take both of them by myself as they run in opposite directions. A giant soft play where they both need help climbing up. Or a park that isn't fenced in. Or McDonalds cos I can't carry a tray and make sure they both go in the right direction. But I can see those times aren't too far away, maybe another year at the most.

Good bits:

• omg they love each other so much! It's adorable. If I'm feeding DS (making up for it!) then DD will come along and tell me how much she loves him. They run around like a wee double act and hide and giggle and want to sleep in each other's beds. If one of them gets something (a biscuit say) then they make sure the other one gets one too. Long may the sweetness continue!

• there was also a blissful period near the beginning where all 3 of us would have a nap from 1-3 everyday. Then DD dropped her nap and peace was gone!

Looks like more negatives than positives there, which I don't think is really the case. Just more things to think about really. I see friends around me having their second with a 2.5-3yr age gap and think I'm glad I did it my way. I can see the freedom you get by the time they get to 3 and I think going back to newborn at that stage would be annoying.

@Srx1

It does get easier 😊 I remember saying I will never have another and here I am contemplating a second already

Eh...your initial post literally has a laughing crying emoji and you ask twice if you're mad in that jokey way people do it. You asked for opinions and I gave mine. I'm not having a go at you I'm just making the point that it might seem like a rolling eyes sort of "I must be mad me" thing before you do it but it's often incredibly hard.

@thatshowirolllandchips

Arsehole behaviour 🤣🤣🤣 I'm laughing out loud

I just think it would be nice for them to grow up and have the same interests etc and then I have the baby bit done and out the way and no need to start all over again as I'm already doing it

My 2 DCs are just under 2 years apart. They have always been great friends.

Absolutely arsehole behaviour! I'd still say the good bits outweigh the bad. I was all for a third as soon as the second was born. But now I've got that tiny bit of freedom - they can both stay at their granny's, and I think actually I don't want to go back to that again. They're also conveniently the same size in clothes (tiny girl, chunky boy) so I only need to bring one change of clothes and hope for the best. Wouldn't be the first time DS has worn flowery leggings home from the park 😅

Will you be able to afford childcare for two? Or are you planning not to work for another 6+ years?

@thatshowirolllandchips

This is why we are contemplating our second now so the baby but is all done 🙈 yes I know it will be hard however like you say I think the good will outweigh the bad

There’s 18 months between my two and as others have said the first year was hard but then it all clicked into place and became much easier. There are still really close which I love and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

@Pinkandpurplehairedlady

That is lovely 🥰🥰 I've heard the key to it is a routine! Both me and my boyfriend had siblings close in age and would love our little girl to have a little bestie to grow up with too 😊

My son is 9 nearly 10months. I just found out I'm pregnant today. I'd rather have them close in age 🥰

My son is nearly 10 months and I’m currently 11 weeks pregnant ♥️

I am pretty nervous but I also can’t wait to have two babies close in age, my oldest is nearly 8 🤣 xx

My LO has just turned 8 months and I’m 9weeks! Had just finished breastfeeding and was absolutely not planned! Excited some days then I read some of these comments and im
petrified! Defos each to their own , would not have been my ideal if im
honest but the one positive I see is the closeness in age and then there’s just getting the baby phase done like you say. 2 and done here! X

Have you factored in the cost of childcare and having to pay double fees?

It’s such a personal thing. I wanted a bigger age gap (nearly 4 years) and it was the right choice but I have several friends who had 2 under 2 and are really happy with that. As long as you understand the possible negatives and positives then go for it, I don’t think it is mad!

Exactly 18 months between our two who are now 2 and 3! Is really hard at times, but it's worth it

My 2 are 17 months apart (both planned). It’s bloody hard work but also good that they’re going through similar stages at the same time.

I had a smaller age gap than that and it has been wonderful! Full on and busy but they are really compatible and great friends. They've gone through stages one after the other and we've sort of hit a stride 😂 also they get a lot from each other that they then don't need from us so at times 2 feels easier than 1

I have two, both 1 - born feb 21 & December 21. It is extremely hard work but as long as you have a supportive and hands on partner it’s doable. I work FT in a hybrid working set up too so I do get time away which has been good for my sanity. I would say though if you are not very into the baby years per say and you are doing it to get it out of the way, you’d benefit from more of a 2 year gap more IMO

23 months between my boys and I ADORE it 💙

DD was born mid May and DC two years later at the beginning of July. So just under 2 years 2 months. I always wanted my children close together as the thought of waiting until DD started school or later always made me feel like you would just be getting free of nappies, naps etc. to then take a backwards step starting all over again. I figured get all the sleepless nights and baby stuff over as quickly as possible. Luckily we didn’t have any fertility problems, obviously there’s only so much you can plan. One of DS’s friend’s parents took 13 years of trying after their first child before he was born.

@Emmamoo89
Congratulations!!! 🥰 yes me too! That's my thinking 😊

@Mamaoftwooo
Congratulations 🥹

@Blondiebrownie6
Congratulations🥳 I think the hood will deffo outweigh the bad, I hope it all works out for you 💜

To be honest I think we are just going to go for it, I think if we just stop being "careful" and just go with it and see how we go 🥰

@WestBridgewater
That's exactly how I'm thinking! Get all the sleepless nights/nappies etc done now! I hate the thought of getting back some sort of normality to then start again 😭 it took me 7/8 months to fall pregnant after a surprise pregnancy which sadly ended in a MC so I'm not expecting to fall straight away but won't be upset if I do 🤞🏻

I'm quite lucky that I won't need to return to work so that's not a set back for us.

I had 2 in 14 months. If I had my time again I'd do it all over again. The small age gap is great. The pregnancy is by far the hardest as it's a fucker being heavily pregnant with a little one who is just learning to walk!