Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Calm 2nd child??

35 replies

JoKB · 30/12/2022 20:16

Hello!

I have a 3.5 year old son and he is just darling, sweet and gentle and while he obviously has his moments of meltdowns, is a very calm child!

after losing 2 pregnancies and 2 years of infertility, I am expecting a second son, who I can’t wait to meet. However, I struggled that I wasn’t having a girl that I had a dreamed of, especially with my sister just having a girl, and I know sex doesn’t define a child, but I’ve been told over and over that second will be crazy after the first being so chilled- has anyone have 2 (boys?!) that were similar and gentle/careful etc rather than one calm and the other crazy 😂

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
kerosene20 · 30/12/2022 20:17

My eldest is an angel and my second is an absolute firecracker!!! Good luck 😉

Sammilouwho · 30/12/2022 20:18

I have a girl and a boy. My little girl is a firecracker, my boy (1 in January) is beyond that. He is extreme 😂

RefuseTheLies · 30/12/2022 20:21

Just to flip it, my older DD is absolutely bloody nuts, younger DD is super chill.

BUT - they are both from the same ‘batch’ of IVF (younger DD was a frozen embryo) so it was just the luck of the draw on the day. They could easily have been born the other way round (so to speak).

CoodleMoodle · 30/12/2022 20:28

DD is 8 and has always been a very calm, sensible child. Day to day she's very chilled and we can trust her with most things. She's the kind of kid who could probably walk to school by herself, can be trusted to stay put when asked to, wouldn't dream of touching things in a shop, could fend for herself for a couple of hours if we were really busy...

...And then there's DS Grin He's 4 and I don't trust him for a second!

RudsyFarmer · 30/12/2022 20:30

kerosene20 · 30/12/2022 20:17

My eldest is an angel and my second is an absolute firecracker!!! Good luck 😉

Sane 🤣

IET · 30/12/2022 20:30

My eldest is an absolute wild woman and my second (DS) is a peaceful soul. Both are brilliant, but DS is definitely calmer

ShirleyHolmes · 30/12/2022 20:32

My eldest (DS) is calm and pretty chilled, was an easy baby and toddler.

my younger (DD) was and is wild.

Good luck! Grin

Jules912 · 30/12/2022 20:35

My first ( a boy) was really calm and chilled, second ( a girl) was and still is wild.

Demento · 30/12/2022 20:35

We have two girls and the youngest is nicknamed "tiny tyrant". They both have their moments though... the littlest can switch moods in an instant whereas the eldest's meltdowns are rare but epic Grin

Notjusta · 30/12/2022 20:35

My two are very different characters - but they are both wonderful and I love that they are different. At the end of the day you are never going to get two siblings who are exactly the same in character or temperament.

Beginningless · 30/12/2022 20:38

Both of mine are spirited, shall we say, ‘calm child’ is not something that would be ever said in my house. But I liked something DDs swimming teacher said to me, which I find to be true in my own and experience of people I know: ‘the first is the risk assessor, the second is the one you need a risk assessment for’.

HaggisWurst · 30/12/2022 20:39

I have a DS (2.5 years), and awaiting my second DS in the next 5 weeks. I've been wondering the same about temperament. My DS is so sensitive, chilled and laid back so I'm wondering if our second will be a little wild thing!
My friends have two boys then a little girl, and the second boy is such a sweetie whereas his older brother is wild, so opposite there.

Mindystryder · 30/12/2022 20:39

I have 3 boys. Youngest is still a baby so too early to call really, but older 2 boys are both very calm and gentle. Middle boy is one of the most easygoing kids you'll ever meet. Don't believe the stereotypes - some of the most boisterous kids I know are girls!

MrsKrankyPants · 30/12/2022 20:39

DC1 still an angel as a 14y old.

DC2 the loud and everything else child, much better now at 6, but my god. I am pleased there is no gamble of what a DC3 would be like. Never want to find out.

mondaytosunday · 30/12/2022 20:45

My husband was eldest of six boys. Here's a two word personality profile starting with him:
Top dog
Mild mannered
Arty and quiet
Arty and loud
Clever clogs
Gentle giant

My stepsons:
Complicated and quiet
Emotional and clever

My friend's boys:
Smart and obedient
Mild and introverted

Kids will be what they will be. Don't worry about it - your second might be docile or not, either way there's nothing you can do about it!

eatdrinkandbemerry · 30/12/2022 20:50

My first (girl) was an absolute delight
My second (boy)was an absolute delight
My third (girl) could make the pope swear and give the Tasmanian devil a run for his money 🤣

Mawface · 30/12/2022 20:52

DS10 was the most quietest, calmest baby ever then DS7 came and was the total opposite - crazy, loud, constant temper tantrums. Still doesn't sit still/be quiet for 2 mins. We thought it couldn't get any worse then DD1 came and she's even more mental. So good luck 👍 💖

ronaldcat · 30/12/2022 20:59

Eldest boy is an angel.

The girl toddler? Wow. Bonkers. She's a maniac.

WoolyMammoth55 · 30/12/2022 21:10

DS1 incredibly chill, smiled and laughed so much and so constantly that as a first time mum I was genuinely anxious that he was brain-damaged... Didn't even try crawling until 11 months, just used to lie there laughing delightedly waiting for us to bring him things <3

DS2 crawling at 7 months, walking at 10, conquered the garden climbing frame by 13 months!! A duracell bunny of a child who runs me totally ragged and can decimate a tidy playroom in 2 mins flat. <3

Adore them both and wouldn't change a hair on their heads. You'll be fine! X

pinksquash13 · 30/12/2022 21:15

It does indeed seem rare to have two calm children according to this thread. My eldest a delight, second child only 3 months so time will tell. I'm anxious.

olderthanyouthink · 30/12/2022 21:21

My I have 2, DD 4 years and DS 17 months and the 17 month old is 10 thousand times more chilled than the first ever was.

EcoCustard · 30/12/2022 21:24

Out of my 4Dc, Dc2 was a very laid back baby and at 7 is a very laid back child, calm, independent and rarely gets cross. There were 12 months between her and Dc1 and they are so different as are her other 2 siblings. Dc1 was the grumpiest baby, never slept or smiled. He’s 8 now and very calm, quiet and independent. Dc3 never sits still, funny and is a ray of sunshine. Dc4 is mad, mischievous and funny. 2 boys, 2 girls. Dc3 is a girl, Dc4 is a boy neither calm.

Lemonnhoney · 30/12/2022 21:26

Another one here with a lovely, calm, thoughtful DS and then a spirited, stubborn, several meltdowns a day, younger DD.. she's also extremely sweet and loving .. you just don't know when she will switch 😂

Strawberry0909 · 30/12/2022 21:29

DS1 is a fairly calm child, very sensible for a 4 year old , never needed reins, doesn't touch things when in shops, only the occasional tantrum

DS2 is nearly 15months and my god he's a whirlwind in comparison !

Was walking at 10months, Into everything, likes to bolt, has a full blown tantrum when told no, and my poor tree has no decorations left at his height, whereas DS1 barely went near it at his age , and is so so loud!
but love them both dearly and wouldn't change a thing about them

Dyra · 31/12/2022 00:18

Hate to say it, but my two are in the same vein as most others. Lovely calm, mild mannered DD. Then there's fire cracker DS. He might only be 9 months, but he can throw a mighty wobbler. He's super strong and wriggly too.