Planning to breastfeed?

[evenprimrose]

Just wondering who is and isn't planning to try breastfeeding?

I'm due Feb 2023 and I had to spend some time in hospital last month. I was in an antenatal ward being used as a postnatal overflow so there were lots of mums with very cute newborns.

I saw all of them bottlefeeding rather than breastfeeding. I'm pro breastfeeding but also know it's not easy and there are loads of social and physical factors why mums might not do it, but was surprised that the choice seemed to have been made already.

I suggest you stop judging other mums for decisions that are not harming their babies in any way, whether on here or in real life.

I tried to breastfeed, I just assumed it would work. It turned out that my baby wasn't very good at it (no idea why, very little support available even at proper breastfeeding groups) and he ended up being admitted for tube feeding. I was given that choice of 'pump this much for him or give formula'... so I gave formula, as pumping wasn't doing much. He was a different baby within two days, content and gaining weight. My nipples, which had been covered in blisters and cracks, started to heal.

If I had a second baby I would formula feed. I have no desire to go through that traumatic experience again, and honestly, breastfeeding really fucking hurt and made me very sad. So I could easily have been one of those mums you were judging.

I breastfed my first 3 years ago, and I'm now expecting again and plan to breastfeed this baby too hopefully. It's personal choice!

I'm currently breastfeeding my 13.5 month old. I had a hell of a time getting breastfeeding established, she didn't latch for the first time until 3.5 weeks so I was exclusively expressing and bottle feeding until then. I've had issues with tongue tie, shallow latch and falling off easily, slow milk transfer, oversupply, breast preference (baby almost completely rejecting my higher producing boob), distractedness during feeds, fussiness and breast refusal while awake (so for a while I could only feed overnight and during naps), an awful biting phase where I was scabbed and suppressing feelings of panic every time my baby went near my nipple, then a phase of obsessiveness with nursing, where she would be on me pulling my top up demanding "BA BAA" every 10 minutes and having a meltdown if I tried to stop her. It's only very recently that breastfeeding has started feeling 'easy', and I know enough now to be well aware that the next challenge will be right around the corner.
Breastfeeding was important to me, so I have persevered through all of this. I have absolutely no trouble however understanding why some mums don't want to breastfeed. It's been tough.

Unfortunately I think low breastfeeding rates in the UK are due to multiple factors such a lack of support and insufficient training on breastfeeding for health care workers. The marketing of formula and formula companies are also partly responsible for low breastfeeding rates. There are also major social/cultural reasons why breastfeeding rates are low, I believe a lot of it comes down to gender inequality and over sexualisation of womens bodies. I don't judge any woman for how they chose to feed their baby as all these factors are outwith their control and are sadly deeply ingrained into our society.

I combined both breast & bottle from the start. Best of both worlds & I'm glad I had the support & freedom to do both.
Wouldn't judge anyone for either choice. Both had their merits.
To be honest i felt breastfeeding wasn't a good fit for me after six months & it naturally tailed off with weaning. Bub didn't mind & we had a great bond no matter if he had a boob or bottle in his mouth!
I wouldn't have wanted to breastfed for any longer. I felt like getting back to normal & my body just for me!

I'm bf my baby, first time mum. She's 7 months. If I have another I'll never bf again. It's been really hard and taxing on my mental health. Think before you judge these women. Todays society and working balance isn't what it once was. It's probably smarter to formula feed or pump. As trust me EBF causes great limitations. They will all have person reasons

It isn’t smarter to breast feed- formula feeding isn’t a walk in the park for many reasons.
research now shows that statistically women who breastfeed get MORE sleep and have less incidence of post natal depression.
There isn’t always as much support available as there should be, but if you can breastfeed the long term health outcomes for both mother and baby are superior to those who bottle feed.

I breastfeed my first two and am still breastfeeding my two year old. I’m pregnant again and will not be breastfeeding this one. A few reasons, the weaning process has been impossible with my second child (ive wanted to wean for months but he doesn’t so we’re still doing it) you can’t leave them with anyone, both screamed murder till they where over a year old if I left them and It was never more than a couple of hours. you do all the nights alone, and both mine fed all night long so you get very little sleep. Also struggled so much with latch issues at the beginning with both so the first 6 weeks where very painful. Mine cluster fed a lot and I feel I wouldn’t be able to give my older too enough attention.

This thread is unbelievable. Save your judgment for elsewhere OP, as if being a new mother isn't hard enough!

I bf my first for 2 years and am pregnant again, very much planning to bf again.

A lot of people don't breastfeed because they struggle at first and don't get the right support to overcome those struggles. It is a systemic issue. E.g. pain when latching on is usually due to things like poor positioning or tongue tie. With the right supply, this can be overcome but a lot of new mothers don't get this support and are not aware of how to get it. This needs to be addressed pre and postnatally as the rates of bf are v low in the UK and there are health implications for this across the country.

Then if bf continues to be hard for whatever reason, we need support from our partners and families etc again this is often lacking especially as the previous generation were majority formula fed. Same with things like cluster feeding, some new mothers don't get the right support and information, they think baby is too hungry and not getting enough, so they supplement with formula and it kills their supply. When in fact cluster feeding is all normal and builds supply etc. It's intense of course.

I agree with you @evenprimrose that it is sad that there is not more support and societal knowledge and acceptance of breastfeeding.

I wouldn't judge someone who couldnt or chose not to. But I think there would be a lot less people in this boat if the right information and support was available!

@Skylark1990 I don't see how someone could have helped me. Every time my son latched he crushed my nipple/breast between his jaws and it was the same agony each time he sucked. It was literal torture. It wasn't a problem with my son or his latch it was a problem with me.

@TheBirdintheCave I'm sorry you went through that, it must have been really hard. Pain is almost always a sign the latch isn't right but there can be lots of reasons for this... If the latch is good then the positioning will be such that baby feeding doesn't rub / cause friction eg latch needs to be deep enough that the gums aren't chomping on the nipple, and ensure the nipple isn't rubbing on top of baby's mouth for example. Tongue tie can have an affect too, as this causes baby's mouth to not feed efficiently and again can rub on breast / nipple. With the right support pain can usually be overcome but it definitely takes practice and it really helps if there are knowledgeable midwives or lactation consultants involved. Both mum and baby have to learn breastfeeding for sure it doesn't necessarily come naturally.

Occasionally pain is a matter of baby's mouth being quite small when newborn so the pain can be managed through things like positioning and then as baby grows a bit it will get better/ go away. But essentially, pain is always a sign you need support - while common early on, it's not "normal".

I loved breastfeeding for 13 months with my first. Due march and would absolutely love to do it again 🤞

@Skylark1990 It hurt when the midwife tried to squeeze colostrum out of me too. She was really surprised when I screamed 😂

I don't know if I'll even bother trying with the next one, it just doesn't seem worth it and I really appreciated my husband's help with feeding my son as we could sleep on shifts.

@K37529 I have friends who formula fed and their children are similar eg only wanting mum, screaming when apart, etc. I honestly don't think it's to do with how we feed which causes this. A secure attachment is good and important, and it's natural for a baby or toddler to have a preference for mum. In saying this, my daughter who i ebf and stopped bf at 2 years is fine at nursery or with dad if I go away for the weekend, she prefers me to put her down at bedtime and naturally can be clingy as all toddlers are, but she's v independent and social as well. I think it's a balance and things like weaning often do need to be parent led and can be v hard I agree! But if done gradually it doesn't have to be traumatic. We gently weaned over the course of a few months and in the end DD adapted v well. But they're all different.

I wont be breastfeeding, I don't have to have an excuse for it, I simply do not wish to

@TheBirdintheCave sounds like you have sensitive boobs 😂 I mean, no harm in giving it a go, you may find next baby it's much easier especially with a bit more experience and some tools and knowledge up your sleeve (not saying you didn't have this before!). But if it is really hard again you know you are fine with formula feeding and open to this so that can also take the pressure off. At least we have options!

Never wanted to
Never planned to
Never even tried
Never regretted it
Never thought it was anyone else’s business

I assumed everyone breastfed and like you I was surprised by the number of people bottle feeding. I was told I might not be able to feed due to health reasons so I aimed for six weeks. I fed DS until 12.5 months! It wasn’t easy, the first few weeks my nipples bled almost everyday, but I’m glad I tried.

Apparently we have the worst breastfeeding rate in the entire world.

New mums are not helped as much as they need, in the first 3 days from what I know.

Oh god please don’t judge until you have been there - seriously! Your messages sound awful

after 48 hours of labouring, my baby came out with low blood sugar - my milk hadn’t come through (often doesn’t) and I was told by the consultant to feed asap. We went for a bottle as fed is best

Milk started coming on day 5, and I did manage to breastfeed eventually after two/three weeks of issues - not latching, tongue tie- in the end I sat with my baby for 36 hours and just fed on demand

I eventually managed to breastfeed for a year but it was the hardest thing I ever did

Expecting my second next week. I plan to combi from the outset - and I certainly won’t be judging anyone who doesn’t breastfeed from day 1 - or even at all!!

i gave birth in a MLU attached to the hospital and bf from the start as did everyone else there. we were all very fortunate to birth in the MLU and all were discharged very quickly, most didn't go near the post natal ward.
my ds unfortunately showed signs of being affected by my rhesus neg blood so we transferred up to the post natal ward where i met loads of women who'd had sections, induction, instrument deliveries and complications. None of them were breastfeeding. SO what i'm saying is that the postnatal ward probably isn't a random sampling of all women who have given birth.

I breastfed my first until he was 2.5yo, currently breastfeeding 3mo old.
Both times I had to supplement with formula for the first 1-2 weeks as my milk wasn’t enough.

It was very hard to get it right, no support, tongue tie, the exhaustion and pain of cluster feeding.
I nearly gave up, it was a real low point, but I’m glad I persevered the hard first months.

I can’t imagine not having the breast to offer quick comfort or put baby to sleep easily. Once you crack it, it really makes life easier.

I'm pregnant and @maggiebun and @Hoppinggreen have exactly the same thoughts as I've had on how I will feed my baby. (Emphasis on 'my' there). I really don't understand how on Earth that could make a complete stranger 'sad'. I'm not planning on making it forage for scraps.

So I bf my 1st for 4 months then combi fed
My 2nd was 2 and half years while tandem feeding my 3rd who was fed for 2 years. I spent the best part of 4 years breastfeeding it's really hard.
Due my 4th in Jan and I'm planning combi feeding as it'll be easier for when OH has the kids.