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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

No fetal heartbeat

26 replies

Lar · 30/01/2008 17:18

I had my routine 12 week scan yesterday and they couldn't find a heart beat.
I was devastated but have had no symptoms of miscarriage as yet and don't know what option to take.I still feel sick, still feel pregnant, its really hard.

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Flllightattendant · 30/01/2008 17:20

Oh God you poor poor thing

notjustmom · 30/01/2008 17:21

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Amberc · 30/01/2008 17:22

Oh sweetheart, you poor thing - What did the sonographer say - what are your options?

TheFallenMadonna · 30/01/2008 17:23

Sorry . It's such an awful thing.
And the waiting...

Take care.

TheFallenMadonna · 30/01/2008 17:23

Sorry . It's such an awful thing.
And the waiting...

Take care.

TheFallenMadonna · 30/01/2008 17:23

Sorry - twitchy finger.

justjules · 30/01/2008 17:23

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juuule · 30/01/2008 17:27

So sorry to hear you are going through this.
With my mmc, like justjules, I found the d&c (erpc) easier to deal with than any of the other options.
Take care and be kind to yourself.

TaLcYfaceOfMrsLovett · 30/01/2008 17:29

x

Nemoandthefishes · 30/01/2008 17:30

oh lar I had this happen over christmas in 2004 and it still hurts. I was 15wks but baby died at 9wks. Worst thing was out of all my pregnancies it was the only one I had bad morning sickness etc with

However on a positive I have 2 lovely dds I carried after the missed mc.

finallypregnant · 30/01/2008 17:42

I am so sorry xx

MotherFunker · 30/01/2008 17:43

I'm so sorry to hear this . I had a m/c last year and it was devestating. I hope you are getting all the support you need.

duvetheaven · 30/01/2008 19:44

Hi Lar
Sorry to hear your news . When you are told unexpected news like that you can go into shock mode.
I have had two mcs. First was at 10 wks, mmc - I went for the natural option but after a month of waiting for my uterus to empty I still had to have D and C.
Next time, I had a D and C straight away (partly though because I was due to take a long flight). I felt no physical pain with having the D and C's . It enabled me to move on and deal with the emotional fallout.
Of course, a personal choice.
Take care of yourself x

hertsnessex · 30/01/2008 19:45

lar, i am so sorry, have been where you are. nothing to add to the good advice above.

cx

whomovedmychocolate · 30/01/2008 19:46

Lar - how horrible So many hopes and dreams dashed.

Please look after yourself. Take some time to think and grieve and get decent medical care. Many of us have been through this and the pain lessens over time.

LOVEMYMUM · 30/01/2008 20:26

Am so sorry to hear this. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve.

There will always be someone here to talk to you.

Habbibu · 30/01/2008 20:31

Oh Lar - I'm so so sorry.

Original poster
Lar · 30/01/2008 23:52

Thank you for the kind words everyone.

I was so excited about this baby, I also feel scared that I may not be able to have another.

I was going to wait for a mc to happen naturally but I've no idea how long that will take and I'm not sure whether I can cope with it.

OP posts:
Ags · 31/01/2008 00:02

I am so sorry to hear your sad news. Keep posting on here. The support will be helpful at this difficult time.

Flibbertyjibbet · 31/01/2008 00:20

I had the same experience nearly 5 years ago with my first pregnancy
Its devastating.
Sorry to be technical but I opted for the pessary and tablet 'natural' method which is supposed to take half a day. I was advised that waiting for it to happen naturally can take sometimes weeks and you have risk of infection. After 3 days stuck in hospital bleeding when I should have been at home grieving with dp, they offered me a d&c and I discharged myself 2 hours after. When the same thing happened to my friend a year later she remembered all this and just went for the d&c. Like the other poster says, its over with, painless and you can try to move on.

i really am sorry to give these horrible details and am desperately hoping as I type and that I do not upset you more than you already are - but I just wished someone had told me these things when it was happening to me.

I was 40 and we had been trying for ages so I do understand your despair wondering if you will be able to have another. But I now have a 3 year old and 1 year old so it does come right in the end.

Original poster
Lar · 31/01/2008 00:44

Thanks Flibbertyjibbet, i need to know the details. I guess I'm in denial a little as I still feel so pregnant.

I'm hoping they might give me another scan before I opt for anything so I am 100% sure.

The d&c does sound the least traumatic from what everyone has said but I am still terrified.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 31/01/2008 00:47

Just seen this. I'm so sorry, Lar!

I've had a missed miscarriage last year.

I was supposed to be 11 weeks.

I chose the D&C route as well.

I hope you take some time to decide what is best for you and find peace with it.

Flibbertyjibbet · 01/02/2008 15:28

I was offered a 2nd scan a week later but they even sent me out for a wee and did one of those internal scans as well before saying anything. I knew though that they were right, as I'd started feeling what I thought was 'better' ie less knackered or sick, but now I realise that I was feeling not better, but less pregnant.

You can email me if you want to chat about it, legoates @ tiscali. co.uk

goingfor3 · 01/02/2008 15:41

Lar I'm so sorry. It really won't affect other pregnancies and hopefully if you decide to try again you will have a healthy baby. Personally I would have a D&C as the medical option is often a long painful process that can end in a D&C.

MrsEi25 · 01/02/2008 15:46

sorry to hear you are going through this lar
i had a MC just over 5 years ago at 14 weeks (measured at 11 tho) and had a natural loss. FWIW i had morning sickness throughout the MC preg right up until the day i lost the baby. it only went after i had started properly bleeding.
i have since had a DD and all is well.
xx ei xx

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