2 miscarriages - stories of hope please

[Laro2323]

Hi

I've just had my 2nd miscarriage this year and obviously feeling broken. We're trying for our first, I'm 33. I had a chemical pregnancy in May (4w5d), fell pregnant again in August, got to 8w with a good scan, heartbeat etc then bled at 10w, confirmed miscarriage at 8w.

1 I found hard, but could rationalise and now it's 2 I'm just panicking that there's something wrong and I'll never be able to have our own children. GP/NHS aren't remotely bothered and are firmly sticking to 3 MC rule.

Any stories of hope or advice on keeping the faith alive would be greatly received.

Thanks so much

I have just turned 34 and am on pregnancy no. 7 (one DD, 3yo, at home). Since starting to TTC no. 2 in April 2021 I have had four losses, including an ectopic where I lost my tube.

I had the NHS recurrent MC investigations and it's basically a blood test and a scan. As everything was normal I just got a slap on the arse before being told to keep trying, that I had a 70% chance of a successful pregnancy. I was told that the fact that mine were all at varying stages pointed towards 'bad luck' rather than any underlying cause.

Last week I was was getting my hair done by my hairdresser who has a scarily similar history to me. There was also a girl in who I knew from school who'd had infertility issues after a MC and had IVF- we're all 33-34yo. Between us we've had 12 MC. One of us is 30w pregnant, one is 24w and then there's me at 12w.

None of us are counting our chickens, least of all me, but I know how I clung (still do) to good news stories like these. Good luck, wishing you all the best X

Had 2 early losses, started on baby aspirin and progesterone pessaries for the next pregnancy and he's currently napping next to me.

@Regenbogen22 thanks so much for replying. I was told by consultant not to start aspirin unless blood tests showed I should (going to have these in a couple of weeks). Did you get advised to or just do it off your own back?

@TheCraicDealer thanks so much for taking the time to respond and with such a lovely story of hope. Also desperately clinging onto these stories too. Keeping everything crossed for you.

I had two (one, horrifically, at 20wks, one at ?10wks) before my two lovelies, now 16 and 11 years old, were born. Have heart and keep going! I heard tons of miscarriage stories from colleagues after I had my first MC, as of course, by then everyone knew I was pregnant. It was harder in some ways after the second, as I hadn't told anyone about that pregnancy.

Firstly sending you a hug, I've been there and always had that "it'll never happen for me feeling" but I've since gone on to 5 healthy children, which matches my number of losses.

My DS, especially, came along so closely after our loss at 16 weeks, that had we had that baby we wouldn't have had him and he's genuinely one of the most wonderful people I've ever had the privilege of knowing (he's at uni now).

It's taken me a long time to heal from those horrible days, and it's still very painful looking back but I believe my children were sent from, and looked after by, my angel babies, and hope that'll be the case for the whole of their lives.

Thinking of the statistics helped me. So many people have had losses and gone on to have a family, its just not something people speak about sadly. Be kind to yourself, I'm sending you lots of luck and love x

My 1st 2 pregnancies were early miscarriages. 1st around 6 weeks and blighted ovum. 2nd around 7 weeks. Weak heart rate found but then miscarried. Both I'd started bleeding and went to epu. I then went onto have 2 v healthy normal pregnancies and have 2 teens now. With my youngest I did bleed again in early pregnancy and assumed I was miscarrying but it was fine and thank god as she's the absolute best.

Hey, I was wondering if you ever heard of a pregnancy centre? they offer free or very very low cost (but ushally free) counselling or sessions with a trained practitioner or counsellor to work through pregnancy loss and all the emotions associated with a loss. It can really help people work through the pain and emotions and gives hope.
If you Google 'crisis pregnancy centre' or 'pregnancy centre' in your local area I'm sure there will be one near you as they are everywhere but not really well known sometimes xx if you message me privately and let me know your area I would be happy to let you know were your nearest is ..although I'm totally sure you could Google and find out.
Hopefully this might be of some use to you,
Hayley xx

Just did it off my own back since it can't harm. No one said I shouldn't have!

I have a friend who had lots of miscarriages ( one 2nd trimester) but also has 3 children now.

my sister also had like 3 miscarriages in 2 years then had 3 babies. She might have had more mmc as she said she stopped telling anyone about it, even to her DH and family. I knew about the first 2, and after she had her first baby, she confided she had had more mmc .

look into aspirin, or antioxidants (like nac, etc) and see what the doctor says it’s appropriate for you. I also heard progesterone I think.

you’re young and you’ve started looking into this and what you can do, so keep a positive mindset.

sending baby dust 🐣

@Daymumma thank you so much - I'm actually a psychologist myself (the irony!) and have got some support lined up but thank you for sharing this x

I had two MC then a successful pregnancy. I used baby aspirin for the next pregnancy and she is now 6. :)

@Regenbogen22 interesting thanks so much. I was told it could interfere with implantation hence my nervousness to take it but have heard so many success stories!

Had a chemical pregnancy and a missed miscarriage 2 years after I had dd

Then got pregnant with ds who is now 13. First few months were nerve wracking but all went ok

Fingers crossed for you and all in that situation

Hey, I’ve never posted on here before (longtime reader), but I couldn’t pass this message by. I had two miscarriages in the same year (2019). One a missed miscarriage (we found out around 11 weeks - went in for early scan as I was bleeding), the second happened very early, I didn’t know I was pregnant and then I ended up in hospital miscarrying. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, it’s so so difficult.

We now have two beautiful children. I conceived naturally only a few months after the second miscarriage, and then had another baby 16 months later. I am in my late 30s.

We hadn’t yet had medical investigations before falling pregnant with our firstborn, so we’re not sure if there were particular reasons I miscarried, or whether it was just ‘one of those things’. After the second miscarriage I did try to work a bit less, practice mindfulness and actually had acupuncture for several months as well, to reduce stress. My doctor also put me on high dose of vitamin D (the nasal spray kind you buy in H&B) which he said is beneficial for fertility.

I’m truly sorry for your loss, it is just heartbreaking. But there is hope. Sending love.

So sorry for your loss. I had two miscarriages - the first, when I was 39 at around 7 weeks was a MMC and was my worst ever Christmas. Six months later it happened again. I was 40 years old and completely devastated. Since I was over 40, I was tested on the NHS, but no reason was found. We tried one more time and this time, it stuck. My son, with a shock of fiery red hair and a personality to match blazed into this world on the exact due date of my first lost pregnancy. He's now 9 years old and has just hared out the door, on his way to football training.

Miscarriage is utterly devastating. But it's also completely normal. Please don't lose hope.

💐

Sorry about your losses @Laro2323. I had 2 miscarriages last year since starting TTC at 35 - a chemical and a 10 week MMC that stopped growing earlier. It was hard and I took a few months off TTC to focus on recovering physically and mentally. Fell pregnant again after and am 24 weeks now, all going ok. I still can’t believe it’s real this time and I waited a long time to share the news but can’t deny the relentless kicking that I’m feeling! I am healthy otherwise with regular periods and no obvious reasons for MC. I wish you all the luck x

Maybe it depends on the dose?

im taking only 150mg daily (for different reasons - low papp-a at the combined test, which is a marker for placental function that is not too good). I think a full adult dose is not recommended in pregnancy at all.

I'm sorry for what you've been through. There is a lovely thread (recent) of a lady who went through multiple miscarriages and it's one of the most positive and inspiring threads I've ever read. It's a thread titled "need a hand hold" or along those lines, in the active conversations. I wish you all the best. Keep that hope alive x

I had two miscarriages in six months, one at 9 weeks, the next at 7. Had early scans with the second due to spotting and saw a heartbeat so thought it would stick, but it didn't.

Pregnancy number 3 is now doing his Y1 maths homework and pregnancy number 4 is getting her pyjamas on ready for bed.

Both of those were very straighforward pregnancies with no issues at all. Both spontaneous labours at full term with no intervention needed.

I forgot to add the post's name mentioned previously (which might be of help)...

The post titled: To ask for a handhold I feel so alone

I was crying reading it (happy tears) x

I had two early losses in a year and it's so heartbreaking. I felt so paralysed by grief the second time as I thought the worst. It took another 7 months before I got pregnant again with DD. It seemed for me that my body just didn't quite know what it was doing (or at least that's how I like to think of it) because I didn't have any issues afterwards with subsequent pregnancies.

The hardest part for me was no one could give me the answers as to why my miscarriages happened. It's wasn't a problem I could tackle and "fix". Sending un-Mumnetty hugs and strength to you.

I had two miscarriages and then a 3rd healthy pregnancy. I know it’s an awful dreadful time but keep up hope!

Hi OP, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I lost 2 pregnancies, then had 2 healthy pregnancies which resulted in my DC, then 2 MMCs this year and now third pregnancy of 2022 is progressing ok. Hellish emotional toll and I'll never 'enjoy' pregnancy but glad to have NHS support. We're under a Tommy's funded recurrent miscarriage clinic which have been amazing

to anyone who is considering this, please go in with the full facts: crisis pregnancy centres are anti-abortion and this is their raison d'etre. They may also provide counselling to those grieving but let's be clear about their agenda.