2 miscarriages - stories of hope please

[Laro2323]

Hi

I've just had my 2nd miscarriage this year and obviously feeling broken. We're trying for our first, I'm 33. I had a chemical pregnancy in May (4w5d), fell pregnant again in August, got to 8w with a good scan, heartbeat etc then bled at 10w, confirmed miscarriage at 8w.

1 I found hard, but could rationalise and now it's 2 I'm just panicking that there's something wrong and I'll never be able to have our own children. GP/NHS aren't remotely bothered and are firmly sticking to 3 MC rule.

Any stories of hope or advice on keeping the faith alive would be greatly received.

Thanks so much

I have a friend who had two early losses and a late loss of twins, but did have a successful pregnancy afterwards. It was one of those cases where doctors couldn't identify a reason, but she does have a lovely daughter now.

OP, so sorry you are going through this. I've had 6 miscarriages in my life, and have one glorious 3-year-old to show for it. I had 3 before her and 3 after. I'm now pregnant again and tentatively hopeful as I've got way further than I usually do. The recurrent miscarriage clinic have been really supportive to me and are a huge help in providing lots of scans and cyclogest/industrial strength folic acid.

There isn't a lot they can do since they think I am hyperfertile and basically fall pregnant with non-viable embryos that other bodies would reject, so it's a case of wait and see. But I've appreciated how responsive they've been through this process.

It's a horrible reality that so many of us struggle to conceive, or to carry pregnancies to term. And so few of us talk about it. I'm so sorry for everyone on this thread who have lost pregnancies - it's such a heartbreaking experience and it makes TTC additionally relentless and gruelling. I'm sorry I can't give you a wholly positive story as I've found it hard going, but I'm a mum to the loveliest little girl and she has been worth every moment of it. I hope you get your lucky little one soon.

Hello I had two miscarriages in 2017, one a chemical and one an empty sac at scan which resulted in erpc . A nurse told me she couldn't advise this but had heard good things about taking baby aspirin but said she couldn't recommend but I should do some research. I took baby aspirin next time round and had a successful pregnancy followed by another 18 months later xx

Miscarriage at 9 weeks
Miscarriage at 13 weeks
Chemical pregnancy
Miscarriage at 9 weeks
Miscarriage at 10 weeks
Failed IVF
Failed IVF
came to terms with not having children, made other life plans
Possible chemical pregnancy (didn’t bother testing)
Very difficult spontaneous, surprise pregnancy followed by….

MIRACLE CHILD!

I haven’t read any replies so probably not adding anything that hasn’t been said but I really felt for you so wanted to reply.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you.
I had 2 miscarriages and won’t ever forget how desperately sad I felt. It’s utterly heartbreaking.
I now have 2 lovely children though.
ill never know the reasons why but I did have treatment for endometriosis between miscarriage 2 and my first healthy pregnancy. I discovered I had extensive endometriosis after pushing for tests. I was lucky they were covered through private healthcare. This was dealt with quickly and I got pregnant quickly after that when previously it had taken some time.
I also took progesterone (recommended by private doctor) with the 3rd pregnancy after I started bleeding early on (assumed we were going down the same road) but the pregnancy was successful! Insisted upon progesterone with my next pregnancy from day 1 and had zero problems that time.
I wish you luck and hope that this sadness will be a distant memory in time when you have your own little miracle(s) x

I also turned out to have extensive endometriosis and adenomyosis (also pcos and some other conditions too) which I didn’t know about when I had the MCs.

very best of luck to you OP xx

3 early miscarriages, 2 D&Cs.

All the tests the NHS would offer were triggered after 3 losses.

All tests came back as negative and we were told 'it's one of those things'.

Next pg I bled and thought I was losing it, but a scan showed one empty sac and one heartbeat. DD1 is now 21.

Trying for DC2 and I caught straight away with no problems. DD2 is now 18.

To give a slightly different take - I have had 12 miscarriages and I don’t have any children but I am still here and I have survived.

I am still ‘trying’ (IVF embryo banking round 5) but I can just about see a future where ttc didn’t succeed and I could still be happy. Not to say it isn’t hard and I’m not deeply sad, but we always find a way to continue somehow.

2 early miscarriages in between having DD1 now 18 and DS2 now 15.

Thank you all so, so much for taking the time to write back. It means everything.

I'd love to keep this thread going with more stories of hope and happy endings. It's all I've been searching for during this dark painful experience and I'm sure I'm not alone with that.

I'm so sorry for your losses.

Over 8-9 years I've lost multiple pregnancies, in double figures with no medical explanation. I started trying at 21 after we got married and I'm now 29.

We tried clexane, progesterone and aspirin, prescription dose of folic acid, all sorts.

Now I'm 11 weeks pregnant and saw baby wriggling away yesterday with a heartbeat.

I don't know why this pregnancy has worked, I refused clexane this time round as tests have shown I have no clotting disorders and I decided what will be will be. I started progesterone at 6 weeks and will carry on until 16 weeks.

Please don't ever give up hope, it's so hard. Sending all the sticky baby dust your way xxx

Just re. the low dose aspirin, I was on that on pregnancy no. 6 (i.e., before my NHS recurrent MC appointment) and the Consultant rolled my balls about going on it without being told to by a HCP. But what do they expect women to do when they won't think about seeing you until you've had three losses, and the waiting list is nine months long?

@littlesunday thank you so much for posting on this thread and sharing your story. It was so comforting to read (I've re-read it about 15 times today!) so thank you for helping to keep my hope alive. X

@SiberFox thank you so much for sharing your story - it's really helped me to keep the hope alive. I'm so glad to hear you are doing well and wish you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy. Can I ask if you did anything differently this time around? X

I had 2 early miscarriages ( both around 7/8 weeks) but I also had 2 totally normal & uneventful pregnancies.
It’s just one of those things for most people who have miscarriages and doesn’t mean they can’t or won’t have a successful pregnancy at a later date.
I wish you all the best for next time.

1 Miscarriage here and afterwards it took another year to get pregnant again. I was starting to give up but then it happened and DS1 was born.

9 months after he was born, I went for a scan because I had irregular bleeding. It was baby number 2 and I was 4 months pregnant. I had no idea.

I wonder how high the miscarriage rate really is. I know they say 25% but the number of people I know who have lost or struggled is much higher. Nowadays we also know so early and I sometimes wonder if it's worth it. It just makes the pregnancy so long and so much more stressful. I'm sure it will happen xx

@MadameDe my MIL told me after my 2nd miscarriage that it was so common. In her day people wouldn’t have even known they were pregnant at 9 weeks. I think she was implying therefore that I was making a fuss over nothing! Still upsets me when I think of that. But agree that it doesn’t help that we can find out so early.

Thank you @Laro2323! Nothing in particular that was different this time, although I did take baby aspirin weeks 5 to 10, but that was more to feel I was doing something differently. With my previous miscarriage I was measuring 2 weeks behind from the beginning and the sac was extremely small vs baby size - which statistically nearly guarantees a miscarriage. I got to the heartbeat stage and had some fool’s hope but it was like 90% probability a MC would occur, and nothing would have helped that. Something was just wrong, most probably chromosomally. I am measuring a couple of days behind in this pregnancy as well but much closer to my assumed ovulation date, and baby has grown as expected. The first few weeks were just nerve wrecking but I kept reminding myself that the odds of a healthy baby are overwhelmingly on my side, even after two unlucky experiences in a row. You’re still much more likely to carry to term next time than not. X

Amazing - so so pleased for you. I keep hearing about baby aspirin and i really wanted to try it but a consultant I saw said absolutely not unless I had blood tests which showed a clotting problem. Did you get any advice on it or just tried it yourself? What dose did you take? X

Amazing - so so pleased for you @SiberFox. I keep hearing about baby aspirin and i really wanted to try it but a consultant I saw said absolutely not unless I had blood tests which showed a clotting problem. Did you get any advice on it or just tried it yourself? What dose did you take? X

its not true that just women with clotting problems get prescribed aspirin in pregnancy or before it.

Poor placental function (a marker of which is getting a low Papp-a result at the combined test) is one big reason W get prescribed aspirin in pregnancy. W with minor clotting issues and W with bmi greater than 30 (or 35, depending on hospital) also do. W with major clotting disorders get clexane, which is a blood thinning injection (they also have them even when not pregnant)

the studies I’ve seen for W with recurrent miscarriages say it’s not known why a baby aspirin helps. If it was so simple like a blood clotting issue it would have been known.

ask your consultant to show you the studies that informed their opinion. Or ask another one.

I had a very similar experience to you, same age, two miscarriages in quick succession. Like someone else said, it felt a bit like my body was practising, getting the hang of it (if that doesn’t sound crude).

For me I felt I needed a change in lifestyle, as a hectic job and big commute felt like it wasn’t helping and the stress of the miscarriages felt mixed up in it all. So I downsized jobs, went part time (I realise I was very very lucky to have this option), and I also started weekly acupuncture. Not something I’d done before (or since) but I thought I’d throw everything at it. And it really felt like it ‘did something’. My body felt different after each session. Within 2 months I was pregnant and it stuck. New boss wasn’t terribly happy but tough!

We then thought it might take just as long for the second, so started trying early and of course on the very first go, bingo. So it’s quite a small age gap. Now have a 13 and 14 year old

But I remember those miscarriage days so clearly, it all felt so dark and difficult when you just do not know the path ahead. My heart really goes out to you . Please keep the faith.

It’s interesting you got that feedback from the consultant @Laro2323. From what I’ve seen the majority of consultants and midwives will say that it might not help necessarily but will certainly do no harm. That is unless there is a health condition that would make it risky. I self-prescribed as like you I was desperate to do -something- differently. Took 150g - that’s 2 x75g of baby aspirin pills before bedtime. When I told my midwife at the booking appt, she was totally fine with it. X

My cousin had four miscarriages over the past few years including an eptopic where she had to get a Fallopian tube removed. She had her first healthy baby last week. It’s wonderful to see her so happy after all the heartache she’s endured. Good luck for the future OP. I hope you get the child you yearn for. X