Successful pregnancy stories after TFMR

[Lottie2403]

We have recently had to make the heartbreaking decision to go through TFMR after finding out our baby was incredibly poorly and unlikely to make it to term. I went through surgical termination at 18 weeks on Monday and have been lucky so far in terms of recovery (little bleeding or cramping).

As they were a very much longed for baby, we are keen to start TTC as soon as possible. I am filled with fear that the surgery will make it harder for us to conceive in the future.

I guess I am looking for any success stories of healthy pregnancies after TFMR?!

@Lizzie0 I had the diagnosis of our baby on October 4th. I had the surgery on October 17th and I wasn’t in work between those dates as I had scans, amniocentesis and quite frankly couldn’t even get out of the house I was so distraught!
After my surgery on the Monday I had 2 days of rest and went back in to work on 20th and 21st October. I am a teacher and it was different as those 2 days were inset days with no children. I was incredibly anxious about going back I knew that I needed to get my foot in the door before going back after the October half term with the children. The first day was a blur, I was focusing so much on trying to have normal conversation and not think about my baby but the second day was easier.
I appreciate it’s completely different for everyone and you must take the time you need 💕

I found myself doing the same as you, deep in Google holes for hours! In terms of trying again, we weren’t told to wait for my first period (I would have gone insane as I am slightly impatient! 😂) I was told that we could start trying again when I felt ready and for us that was 2 weeks after my surgery. I didn’t get my first period until nearly 7 weeks after the surgery.

I don’t know if this is something that you would find helpful but I follow Zoe Clark Coates on Instagram and she’s absolutely amazing and a published author about baby loss 💕

I'm early days, only 7 weeks pregnant following a TFMR in mid August, but we got pregnant again first month of trying. I had a medical TMFR and physically I would have not felt ready to try again for a month or so (retained placenta had to be removed manually as an urgent procedure after delivery and I have some, hopefully ultimately temporary, nerve damage in my leg from spinal anaesthetic). I also had to inject myself with blood thinner for a fortnight afterwards, so was feeling pretty bruised and bashed up for a long time!

Emotionally, we wanted to wait a little longer. I went back to work about 10 days after (am also a teacher and the summer holiday ended), and I was OK initially with getting back into the swing of work etc but I found by early-mid October I was really struggling mood wise and started to see a counsellor. I think this was partially hormonal due to my period returning but I suddenly was having days where I (trig warning) basically wanted to kill myself. This period has now passed, thank god. I had to go private for the counsellor, though- had an assessment phone call with NHS service, was told I was definitely eligible...and never heard from them again. Having read lots of other people's stories here and on the ARC forum, I think everyone's path to feeling better is different and people move at different paces,and it's not always a straight line.

Wishing everyone on this thread all the best with their new and hopefully future pregnancies!

Thank you @Lottie2403 getting back to a routine will hopefully bring a bit of normality back to life.

Knowing you went back to trying after two weeks is very comforting to me. Just having something more positive to focus on instead of just waiting I know will help. 💞

Ive taken the decision to deactivate my instagram too as every time I went on I find myself upset or anxious. So I’m feeling good about that step too.

@Thefrogwife congratulations wishing you a safe and healthy pregnancy. Your journey sounds very traumatic I’m sorry you had to go through that and thank you for sharing your story. I have most definitely had moments where I just want to go to sleep and wait till this time time in my life is over, each day hits me differently. I’m still waiting to hear from ARC as they have been closed for the holidays. Where did you find a private councillor? Just online?

x

I went on to www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists and searched for local counsellors who listed pregnancy loss as something they had experience in. ARC also gave me a couple of names of people, one of whom was someone I'd already found on BACP and she ended up having availability.

Have you checked whether Petals work in your area? Unfortunately they aren't funded to work with my hospital, but I would try there first if possible to save money.

Thank you @Thefrogwife ive got a call with ARC on Thursday so I will ask them then.

Gave petals a google and unfortunately they also don’t work with my hospital but thanks for the refferal their website does say to fill in a form even if your not at one of their funded hospitals and they will try help!

Hi @Lottie2403, just wanted to check in to see how you’re doing! X

Sorry to hear about all those little angels and your losses. Nothing prepares you for it and I don’t think you ever truly get over it, but it does get a little less crippling with time.
We had a TFMR at 14 weeks with my first pregnancy then got pregnant with DS1 6 months later. Unfortunately had a different TFMR at 14 weeks again for a different fetal abnormality and got pregnant with DS2 3 months later. We also had a MC in July so seems I’m only able to have rainbow babies. They way I like to think of it is my boys both have guardian angels looking over them.

Hello everyone,

I hope that you are all doing well 🩷 I’m sorry to have been absent for so long. It’s been coming up to 2 years since we had to make our heartbreaking TFMR and I had my surgery so I have found myself feeling reflective.
I just wanted to give you a little update - I found out I was expecting on what would have been our little angel’s due date. Such incredible emotions - happiness, gratefulness but unfortunately a lot of fear and worry. I’m so pleased to say that I went on to have a healthy pregnancy and we now have our wonderful baby girl who is now 10 months old.
How are you ladies doing? Sending so much love xxx

I am goung through a TFMR my baby have severe congenital heart defects and its soo much horrific to take this decision please someone help me go through this.

@Nikkyy I am so sorry you are going through this. Have you got a lot of support around you? I remember it being the most lonely place in the world, even though I had so many people around me.

I went through a TFMR at 24 weeks in 2021 and it was the most brutal period of my life, my first experience of grief and mixed with a confusing thing that I had opted for it - for us, there wasn't really an option and it would have been incredibly selfish for me to have brought our daughter into the world for a lifetime (however short) of pain.
Our pain has eased, it is still with me but I learnt to live again and enjoy life after a very dark time.
Fast forward and we were pregnant again 7 months later in 2022 and gave birth to our healthy daughter in 2023.

Thinking of you.