Utterly convinced I will loose this pregnancy.

[DrinkingAllTheGin]

Im 6+2 with my much wanted 1st baby. 2nd pregnancy.
I have absolutely no idea why I am convinced of this, I mean all is progressing as it should, I'm taking all my supplements, resting etc. But I feel like I'm just waiting for the day a miscarriage starts.

I had a MMC in November last year and my due date this time is exactly 12 months on.

How do I get past this?

I am sorry about your earlier loss. From experience you get through it minute at a time. I lost 3 pregnancies, a MMC then 2 miscarriages. My next pregnancy survived and is now nearly 5. It was hard and I genuinely didn't believe that she was my baby until she was about 72 hours old. I just survived minute by minute each day during the pregnancy.

This helped me

datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

Hope it helps you too. I was the same, due exactly two months after due date of mc. I also used to tell myself it is out of my hand's whatever happens so no point in causing myself more stress by worrying too much. You will get through this. (Whispers) congratulations ❤️

There is no easy solution. I think to is nigh on impossible to not worry after a MC. From personal experience I can only suggest trying to redirect your thoughts in another direction or onto another subject if you feel yourself spiraling.

Good luck and congratulations

I don't have any answers for you but just a handhold. I'm 8w3 and same as you, first baby, second pregnancy, had a MMC in Dec last year.

Have you had an early scans, would that help? Or would you prefer to wait until 12w?
I had a scan that showed heartbeat and right place but I know feel extremely anxious about my 12 week scan as I'm convinced it will be another MMC. I cried yesterday just thinking about it (probs pregnancy hormones as well tbh!).

I have read that the likelihood of another miscarriage after one is 2 percent. Does that help? Sometimes that helps me... Other times it doesn't.

Do you think you would benefit from talking to someone? As do mention that at your booking appt as they are lots that can be offered for this anxiety and worry.

I had a MMC and then a few months after found out I was pregnant again. Same as yourself, I was 100% sure it would be another loss. I couldn't love her for the whole pregnancy in case I lost her.

She is now 2 years old and refusing to go to bed 🙄

Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy! Stay positive 😊

@DrinkingAllTheGin, I've been in this position too, albeit a long time ago.
I eventually realised that I'd lost trust in my body as although my unborn baby had died, my body still carried on. I felt like my body had tricked me.
Does that ring any bells at all?
The pregnancy after a MMC was successful (although it took me a very long time to be able to relax and believe I was going to have a baby) and I hope yours is too.

Thanks everyone.
I think this week is particularly hard as DH is away with work and I guess I'm feeling vulnerable.

This is great. Thanks! X

I understand where you are at. I’m 6+5 and had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks in July.

you aren’t alone in this, here is a place you can come to connect.

pregnancy after miscarriage is so tough but all we can do is take each very small step at a time.

xx

@Tea94 that seems exactly right. If I distance myself, I protect myself.
And yes @vipersnest1 it is not trusting my body.

Every time I go to the loo it is a heart wrenching moment!

Be gentle with yourself and take it day by day. I had three MCs between DS and DD. It was only when DD was born that I realised that I hadn’t enjoyed a moment of the pregnancy because I worried all the way through. I had bleeds at about 7 weeks with all three miscarriages and also with DD. Like @Tea94 I gave up on the idea she’d ever make it, I think. She’s now nine months old and is beginning to robustly beat up her 5 year old brother (which he loves). Even now I look at her and marvel that she’s here. One day, hour, minute at a time, eat well, rest plenty, stay in touch with your midwife. You can always come on here for a handhold 💐

Keeping it secret from most people is stressful.
I've told a couple of family members and my manager but most people don't know.
I don't like lying to them about why I'm tired and grumpy.

I do a shopping run for an elderly lady in the next village and tonight she was moaning that her younger sister takes their dog for a walk EVERY DAY!
Usually I bite my tongue but tonight I told her that of course they do, you have to!
I did tell her I was tired and grumpy (which lead the the 3rd degree as to why!) And still she kept me chatting!

OP, I don’t have too much advice but I feel exactly the same as you. It took us 4 years to have this baby and two rounds of IVF. My first IVF cycle ended in a miscarriage so I’m so scared. I keep thinking rationally though the chances are very low for it to happen again. Just wish we could fast forward to their birth!

Lots of Netflix in the evenings is helping me I’ve got to admit. I’ve been busy with work also and we have a weekend away planned ahead of our scan next week so I won’t be able to think about the scan too much!

We like gritty dramas on Netflix. Not sure if you do? But I find these type of things really zone me out!

You are probably convincing yourself you will lose this baby for self preservation, you've had a previous loss which your mind is trying to protect you from the hurt it may cause you if you're already expecting it to happen again. Get though each day as they come, wishing you the best of luck xx

This was me too OP, I had a missed miscarriage followed very quickly by becoming pregnant. I felt as you do but beyond what I ever imagined now have a beautiful baby (cuddling him currently, he is 3 months old!).

Things I found helpful:
-The calculator above
-www.amazon.co.uk/Pregnancy-After-Loss-day-day/dp/1409195945/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=pregnancy+after+loss+zoe+clark&qid=1666126757&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIwLjk0IiwicXNhIjoiMC42MyIsInFzcCI6IjAuNjEifQ%3D%3D&sprefix=pregnancy+after%2Caps%2C101&sr=8-1
Particularly the pregnancy 'advent calendar' to colour in
-Remembering this is a new egg, sperm and baby
-Stories from others who had a miscarriage followed by successful pregnancies

I also had input from a specialist mental health midwife which helped immeasurably.

All the best OP. For me things improved a lot with the 20 week scan and resolved when I held my baby for the first time.

And this is spot on!

I had this too. I used to look for 'signs' in everyday life that the pregnancy wouldn't progress, which I knew were completely irrational. I tried to consciously call myself out on it, that it was my brain's way of protecting me, but my baby is okay.

@DrinkingAllTheGin Hi, I came across this post and related to it, I had a medical induced miscarriage 4th of june, I went to and early scan when I supposed to be 7 weeks but was only measuring 4 weeks which obviously concerned me, I went for a scan on my kidneys a few weeks later cause I was worried I asked if they could quickly go over the baby just to put my mind at ease, they did and the baby had a heart beat and looked around 8 weeks I felt so relieved and then when I went to my 12 weeks scan they told me the heart had stopped at 9w 6d, in august I found out I was pregnant again and all I've done is worry so I know how you feel I had a early scan at 7 weeks but still worried for my 12 week scan but that went well too! It's hard to enjoy pregnancy after a miscarriage it takes the excitement out of it and it is turned in to constant worry, just try stay positive even though it's hard and take it day by day! x

I get it too. I think after a miscarriage, you lose all trust in your body to be able to carry a healthy pregnancy. Having the dates be so similar for you undoubtedly won't be helping either. Taking it one day at a time is all you can do. Today you are pregnant. That is what counts.

If it helps, my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I thought I was 8 weeks, but the foetus never developed beyond 5. I have since had two successful pregnancies. Oddly of the two, the one I worried most I would miscarry was the second. I think it's because the only other time I had conceived naturally was the miscarriage (DC1 needed Clomid). Also, as it also took far less time than expected to conceive (5months vs. 3 years total for DC1), and I had zero pregnancy symptoms until late into the first trimester, it all felt far too good to be true.

I hope you get your rainbow baby.

@DrinkingAllTheGin I totally get this, my first Mc, it took a year EXACTLY, to fall pregnant again, I spent that pregnancy terrified! But all
was perfect and have a DD we are now pregnant again and I suffered A Mmc at 12 weeks earlier this year and I simply cannot shake the feeling I'm going to loose this one. I don't know what to say to offer reassurance just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in the way you feel xxx

I've just discovered a small amount of brown blood when I wipe. DH is abroad until Saturday and I'm all alone.

I’m sorry you are going through this alone. So far you have a small quantity of old blood, so nothing conclusive.
(My two kids are from pregnancies with huge quantities of fresh red blood. Bleeding can really go either way.)

Thanks.
I have put on a pad and going to try and get some sleep.
The cat is giving me cuddles.

How are you doing this morning? Perhaps you can get an appointment today.

It's very scary when you've already had a loss, it gets better as it grows. I wondered when it was me if it was me trying to protect myself from being happy and excited again like I was with previous pregnancies.
Many of us do go on to have families so take that as good news, miscarriages are common but it's less common to be infertile and unable to carry a baby so the odds are in your favour by a long way

@KitchenSupper
I've just woken and stealing myself to go to the loo.
Woke several times overnight and there was no more blood.