Hey,
I have been following your post and I’m really sorry for what you’re going through. I want you to know that you’re not alone and I’m in the same boat, which is why I was following your post.
I was 5 and a half weeks pregnant with my first pregnancy (planned). I had some brown discharge on Friday and Saturday, started bleeding red on Sunday, heavy bleeding with clots that night, and have been bleeding on and off since. I had a scan booked at an early pregnancy unit tomorrow, but I was told that if I’m testing negative before then to not attend and free up the appointment for someone else. I tested today and the positive was very very faint, so Im gonna call tomorrow to free up the appointment for someone else in need whose story may be more hopeful than mine.
It has been an emotional few days, I have taken the week off work and got a sick note because I am too physically and emotionally drained for work. I found it much more difficult than I thought I would, but reading and hearing other peoples stories of early pregnancy loss has helped.
I spoke with a lovely doctor today. She shared her story of a miscarriage that was followed by 3 healthy pregnancies. To repeat what she said, around 1 in 4 pregnancies end in a miscarriage and around 75-80% of those are in the first trimester. It’s not a nice statistic, but there is nothing that you have done wrong or that you could have done differently to prevent it so don’t beat yourself up. No one really knows why they happen, they assume chromosomal abnormalities, but we can’t be sure, they usually happen so early that it’s hard to tell. It’s just one of those things. You’re not alone, it’s okay to grieve, and take as much time to heal physically and emotionally as you need.
Thankfully, if you’re trying most miscarriages are followed by a healthy pregnancy. The likelihood of it happening 2 or 3 times in a row are much lower than it happening just the once. You actually tend to be more fertile in the short term after a loss, so if you’re emotionally ready to try again, your likelihood of success is higher.
If you’re trying for a baby, the space you have made in your life for that child will still be filled. It doesn’t make the loss any easier, but focusing on the future and looking forward to that has helped me in my loss. Hopefully it can for you too.
Sorry again for your loss and for the loss of anyone else reading this post who has suffered a miscarriage. I wish you all the best in your journey of growing a family in whatever way is right for you.