How to afford maternity leave?

[Frida9]

Hi, just wondering what others are planning to do to afford maternity leave? I'm due in February and everyone (my mum, sister, mother-in-law, boss) is saying I should take a full years maternity leave because I'm entitled and I'll love being with baby. I'm not doubting I'll love it but I'll be surviving on £12k after tax next year and really can't afford that. Basically my husband will be left to pay the mortgage and all bills which I feel really guilty about, his work is manic and stressful as it is.
Am I being daft to think about going back after 9 months? I'm planning on staying at my current job for 3 months once I go back (legally need to for my maternity pay) and looking for a better paid job after that (currently public sector so really bad wages).

Of course you're not daft, lots of women go back before the year is up and do just fine. I went back when my oldest was 8 months and when my youngest was 11 months. In some ways 8 months was easier as she didn't have as strong of separation anxiety as DC2!
People will shame you for absolutely every decision you make as a mum regarding working/staying home etc so my advice is to let it all wash over you and just focus on what is best for you and your circumstances. Best of luck to you xx

I'm going back after 8 months. I'm the sole earner, so have no choice. Would love to take a year but alas it's just not an option.

Went back when DC was 7 months, was not a problem, he settled easily into nursery, loved it and stayed until the week before he started reception. Having enough money is important, go back to work if you need or want to.

20 years ago things were very different. It's all well and good all those people telling you to take the full year but if it's not affordable then unless they would like to contribute they really shouldn't say anything. How are your finances currently set up? Joint child = joint costs, if DH has to cover more while the household income dips then so be it. Same with childcare costs - that's a cost necessary for you both to work regardless of how much you actually earn.

I went back after 10 months as I couldn’t afford a year. It was fine and DD really took to nursery.

Don’t forget you accrue holiday and bank holiday during maternity leave so that adds about another month on fully paid.

Also, you can do some KIT days if you have some childcare when you go down to statuatory and you’ll be paid fully for those days. It’s really is a bit of a top up!

I went back at 5 months with DS1 once I went back down to SMP just wasn’t enough for us to manage on at the time. I’ve been lucky with ds2 and DD I could take the full year off but we saved as much as possible
to make it do able. In the current climate I suspect I’d be back asap

I’ll be back after 10 months max I reckon. I had just over a year with DS but he was our first and we were living in a smaller house so much more disposable income to save up in advance.

These are the kind of things l was going to suggest. As well as the obvious saving between now and then, cutting down on outgoing etc. I would love a year but it’s just not possible sadly, it’s just one of those things.

People have been super keen to say stuff like why don’t you quit? What don’t you take a zero hours job and a 20% pay cut etc. I have found a lot of it to be quite depressing and sexist to be honest. Plus my fiancé like me, thinks these suggestions / options are crap!

Joint child joint costs

I saved as much as I could to help us out when I was on maternity so that I could still pretty much pay for my half of things and not put it all on my DP. Id saved £5000 by the time I went on mat leave.
I had planned to go back to work when DD was 9 months but the nursery only had space available from when she was 10 months.
However we found out I was pregnant a couple of weeks before i was due back to work and I didn't go back as expecting number 2 in January.
DP has changed jobs with more money so that he can pay for everything, we just don't have much spare for luxuries as we've lost my income of £32k but we are managing much better than I thought we would have.

Also, not sure if you are getting any extra maternity pay on top of SMP but when your wage goes down to the £151p/w SMP it's worth applying for universal credit as you can often get a top up for the few months to help each month.

For those saying my husband should pay for more, he already pat's for more than half of everything. If I go back to work part time I will be able to cover nursery 2 days a week (parents helping out 2 days too) but I'll have nothing else spare, I won't be able to contribute to bills or buy clothes when I want or buy anyone Christmas presents. There's only so much my husband can do and I feel horrendously guilty that I'm living off him, I chose to have a child too

In the same boat as you OP! I'm due in Feb, and hubby will be paying more towards our mortgage because of mat pay. I definitely won't be taking the full year off sadly, will more than likely have around 9 months off. Times are hard at the moment!

I don't know how benefits work at all but have always thought I won't be entitled due to my husband earning

I know very few people that take the year. I usually take 2 weeks holiday from 36 weeks and then Mat leave after that and then a kit day a week the month after my paid leave ends, and am back as soon as I’ve used them all up.

I honestly don't know anyone who's took the full year.
I done 10 month, that included bank hol and AL I accused whilst off.
I think it worked out 2 months or just under full pay before I went back part time

I don't understand those who feel like they are taking advantage of their husbands/partners by not being able to contribute to the finances during mat leave- you are in a partnership, you are having a child together. Of course they should fill the gap! Your earnings are diminished because you are bringing their child into the world. I didn't have the thought for a moment when I was in your shoes. I support him now as I'm the higher earner and I don't expect him to go without or fill the gap. It's what marriage is all about surely?!

I took 6 months because that's what we could afford. I earned about 50% more than DP at the time. Went back to work full time.

It's all relative anyway. I'm from a Western European country where people get 12 weeks mat leave. So to my old school friends / family 6 months was incredibly long.

I couldn’t agree more. Such a bizarre way to feel. Wouldn’t even cross my mind to look at it that way. DH and I are a partnership, we’re having a baby together. One of us has to stay home for a few months, it may as well be me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well does he feel guilty about diminishing your earnings and pension because you're having his baby? I assume not.

Hey op, I also work for the civil service and have found they're quite flexible about how long you take so you could say you'll take 9 mo and then if you then decide you want the year you could let them know a bit later.

I took a year. It did mean DH had to pay the mortgage for 6 mo but I was "working" too as I was looking after DC, and also it saved on nursery costs. Taking the full year also meant I could breastfeed DC without worrying about it for that little bit longer (ofc many people who go back at 6/9 mo etc stil continue to breastfeed but it does make it a little bit more difficult having to pump at work / give bottles while they're at nursery).

I would echo others to say please don't feel guilty about DH paying more while you're on mat leave. If you do feel bad about it I think have an open and frank chat about it with him. Trust me, mat leave is no holiday - it's lovely but hard work and while you're looking after baby he will be supporting you financially (and also helping with baby!) And that's all just part of being parents I think.

I had a feb baby and only did 9 months off, it was the perfect amount really. Plus that meant I went back in November which meant I had about 6 weeks of slowly getting back into the swing then had 2 weeks off for Christmas. Appreciate you might not get Christmas off though.
also instead of using my holiday allowance at the end of my maternity as one block I spread it over the first month back, which meant I only worked 2-3 days a week and I could spend more time with my baby.
maternity is such a blur anyway it all merges into one no matter how long you have!

I know. You rarely hear dads saying I feel so guilty that my partner has to bear the whole burden of pregnancy and giving birth to our baby but that is effectively what happens.

30 years ago, I took off 13 weeks with DS1.

That's the way we did it then - cut your cloth to suit your means.

I'm only taking two weeks. Self employed so will work evenings and weekends to meet deadlines. Have one already who didn't sleep so know what I'm in for but have no choice