Caesarean request seems to keep being ignored 😡

[Boniodog22]

I’m so fed up.
Im 43 years old, first baby.
Ive researched C-Sections and natural births and due to previous medical advice and family dynamics (baby due on MIL birthday 🤦🏼‍♀️) a c-section would work in my favour.

Spoke to several midwife’s who have all agreed a c-section is possible and nowadays medical professionals work to support you with decisions rather than challenge and this is a reasonable and doable ask.

My Consultant talked for ten minutes with me today about an induction and weighing up these possibilities at 36 week appointment. I shared this is now the 4x time I’ve requested a c-section which I’m told each time is possible 🤷🏼‍♀️
The consultant didn’t say yes or no, detailed all the risks associated with a c-section and promoted natural birth. Mentioned looking at birth plans later on within my pregnancy which did nothing but make me feel more worried and frustrated.

After the appointment I felt deflated, upset and really anxious as I’ve read horror stories about inductions, still born issues for babies after 39/40 weeks for over 40+ Mothers and the need for an induction and my plans yet again still not confirmed.

Im now 19 weeks and feel I’m being ignored. I’ve rung my Midwife to discuss further and strongly advocate my request and rights for a c-section. I feel waiting till 36 weeks is a long and worrying wait unfair for any pregnant woman to have to endure.

The baby is due on your MIL’s birthday. What a wonderful present.

If the fact the baby is due on your MIL’s birthday the reason for a c-section, it’s a bit daft.

Its major surgery and will take a good few weeks to recover from

@Boniodog22 You will get the c-section, but you will have to keep advocating for yourself and they simply will not book you in for one this early on.

Please try not to spend the next 3 months worrying about it, they have to give you a c-section, they can't say no under current guidelines, but they won't talk to you about it until much, much later on.

Agree with pp, they’ll give you a c sec but it’s too early at the moment. 💐Try not worry and enjoy your pregnancy.!

19 weeks is very early in a pregnancy to confirm that you can have a c-section.

I had to wait much longer than that and I'd had a critical situation in my previous birth so they didn't even try to persuade me to go for a vbac. I think I was around 30 to 32 weeks when it was confirmed.

Please don't use the argument about your MIL's birthday in front of the professionals. They will think you are taking the P.

I had to have a c section due to a back injury all the midwives and Dr knew from the start of my pregnancy but no one agreed it until I was 34 weeks. As pp has said they don't sign off on it until much much later.

Other medical conditions too

Just keep saying you will not be induced. They will be nervous about your age so you will get the caesarean. You can't pick the exact date though and they will probably want to do it earlier than 40 weeks.

I have had 2 high risks pregnancies. Csesction were the only options in both pregnancies. It was in both pregnancies discussed at 36 weeks. You are 19 weeks pregnant. So much can change from now to 36 weeks. If your anxious then discuss that with the midwife. Also I would think very carefully because Csesction isn't an easy option. It took me 4-6 weeks to recover. In the beginning I couldn't even lift my baby. I couldn't get in and out of bed on my own. I needed a lot of support.

It is normal to not confirm until later in pregnancy for a variety of reasons.

Thanks all - it’s mainly medical issues for the c-section but all I can say is if you met my MIL, you’d also be considering anything to not give birth on her birthday!!

I've had two ELCS and both times it was only signed off on at 36w. I didn't get the date for either of them until a couple of days beforehand both times too - I just was told it would be in the 39th week of pregnancy (with the second one they rang me on Friday telling me to be there at 7am on the Monday so short notice!). I do read a lot of people getting booked in for their c sections very early on, but this certainly wasn't the case for me!

Oh, forgot to say. Even if your booked in for a csesction your baby might have other ideas. My waters broke with my daughter at 37 weeks and I had to have an emergency csecion under general. Just because you get the date doesn't mean its that date.

It is normal practice to wait until the later stages of pregnancy before booking in a csection. To put it bluntly, anything could happen between now and then.

I had an emergency csection with my first baby. I had decided to have an elective csection with my second baby before even getting pregnant. It wasn't until I was 32 weeks pregnant with baby number 2 that my csection was confirmed and booked. Even then I had the option of a natural birth if i wrnt into lavour naturally. As it was, I had complications that resulted in the csection date needing to be changed. I needed to have him early and I couldn't be induced due to my previous csection.

What I'm trying to say is that it's all well and good having a plan. But neither of my children's births went according to any type of plan.

As PP have said- it's far too early.

Please make the decision on medical reasons only. What would be better would be to sort out boundaries with MIL (with your husband 100% involved). They may schedule the c section on her birthday (or likely the days before and you get bumped due to emergencies) so they may be born on the day.
In the future may also need to schedule birthday parties etc that will coincide with MIL's birthday and she will have to suck it up so better to deal with the issues now.

I had an emergency c-section with my first and then placenta praevia with my second that meant I had no option other than another c-section and it still wasn't booked in until 36 weeks. I think you're worrying yourself too much too early on. If you have genuine medical conditions (plus your age) then you'll get your c-section but you'll just have to be patient. However, you do not get to pick the date for your c-section so could still end up on your MIL's birthday

My baby was breech and they booked my c section for my due date as they were busy (you can’t request dates) Turns out it was brought forward a week as I went to labour early

Definitely too early to be booking anything. In my Trust you'd have an appointment at 28 weeks and they'd potentially arrange a date then, or they'd wait until 36 weeks. It doesn't mean they won't allow you to have one, they just won't book one whilst you're 19 weeks.

After the appointment I felt deflated, upset and really anxious as I’ve read horror stories about inductions, still born issues for babies after 39/40 weeks for over 40+ Mothers and the need for an induction and my plans yet again still not confirmed.

Have you gone looking for that? Because there are plenty of horror stories about Caesarians going wrong.

They won't confirm anything this early on. My first was an emergency c-section. With my second they discussed risks and vbac a bit and I did feel anxious because of this. There was no trouble booking it in when the time came. Third they knew from the start it would be a c-section because that hospital wouldn't do vba2cs. I was somewhere around 34 weeks when both my elective c-sections were confirmed and booked in. I got dates around 36 weeks.

Two ELCS; one signed off at 38 weeks and one unofficially signed off from 18 weeks as had one previously, then 'officially' signed off at 34. Still very early - enjoy your pregnancy

Please try not to stress. Also, don't mention your MIL's birthday - that has got to be the daftest reason to request a CS.

I had a maternal request c. Organised at 38 weeks after consultant and midwifery care had finished. Locum registrar signed it off. Went in for a chat with them, gave me all the talk and convincing. And after he finished I just said ‘so how do I organise a c section’. He said ok hold on. Came back with the paperwork 5 minutes later.

I wouldn’t bring up the birthday thing. They are not going to warm to that. Also you won’t have a choice on the day and it will likely be somewhere in the 39th week. They won’t do it earlier unless medically required because the lung development needs to be stronger for the c than vaginal birth.

Just as an FYI - a c was brutal for me. Some women it’s no pain at all but I literally felt like I had been hit by a bus. It’s only after that I have found out the prevalence of c section complications is quite high too - high also with vaginal. Basically there is no easy route. But you will get through it!

They were keen for me to have a csection due to previous due to breech and also age however I was keen to try vbac. I also declined induction. They didn't want me to go over 40 wks and I said if it came to it I would have the section over induction. Luckily baby came nearly 2 weeks early so I got my vbac. I have been told it was a traumatic birth (forceps and 4th degree tear) but would still choose that every time over the section. Yes Elective Section was very civilised but I was in a lot of pain afterwards and I found this impacted on bonding with my 1st baby. Recovered much more quickly even being 5 years older with 2nd baby.

I had to have a planned c section due to a health condition. All the doctors were clear about this from the 12-week appointment, but I didn’t fully discuss it all until much later on. Maybe about 28 weeks. So don’t worry about it, yet. Just keep saying that’s what you want.