Caesarean request seems to keep being ignored 😡

[Boniodog22]

I’m so fed up.
Im 43 years old, first baby.
Ive researched C-Sections and natural births and due to previous medical advice and family dynamics (baby due on MIL birthday 🤦🏼‍♀️) a c-section would work in my favour.

Spoke to several midwife’s who have all agreed a c-section is possible and nowadays medical professionals work to support you with decisions rather than challenge and this is a reasonable and doable ask.

My Consultant talked for ten minutes with me today about an induction and weighing up these possibilities at 36 week appointment. I shared this is now the 4x time I’ve requested a c-section which I’m told each time is possible 🤷🏼‍♀️
The consultant didn’t say yes or no, detailed all the risks associated with a c-section and promoted natural birth. Mentioned looking at birth plans later on within my pregnancy which did nothing but make me feel more worried and frustrated.

After the appointment I felt deflated, upset and really anxious as I’ve read horror stories about inductions, still born issues for babies after 39/40 weeks for over 40+ Mothers and the need for an induction and my plans yet again still not confirmed.

Im now 19 weeks and feel I’m being ignored. I’ve rung my Midwife to discuss further and strongly advocate my request and rights for a c-section. I feel waiting till 36 weeks is a long and worrying wait unfair for any pregnant woman to have to endure.

FWIW I'm pregnant with twins and currently 23+2 and my consultant has only briefly spoke to me about a c section when I was 14 weeks as she was going over things. I'm not actually due to talk to anyone about my birth plan until 33 weeks. I'm actually hoping I don't need a c section.

With DS my birth plan was discussed at 36 weeks with my consultant and induction booked for the 38th week. They can't book these things in yet.

I'm sure you will get your c section but it's just far too early to mention it and book it in.

They don't even book planned c sections in until the late 30 week stage, at 19 weeks you're asking too much. If you want a c section that's what you'll have, they can't stop you. It's your body and your birth. But you're not a priority yet, you don't need to know the date. Just enjoy your pregnancy and stop badgering them

Far too early to let it worry you. No harm in mentioning it at every appointment though. Have you actually asked when your trust buttons down such things?

I've had two planned sections and neither was even discussed until 36 weeks and then booked at 37 weeks to take place at 39.

I don't think we even started discussing a birth plan until 34 weeks.

Your mw should be able to tell you at which appointment it's helpful to mention and you can leave it until then.

Also, the MIL comment really doesn't come across well!

At 19 weeks it's too early to confirm a maternal request c section.

You've not had your 20 week scan yet. God forbid but anything could still happen.

Usually a maternal request section isn't booked in until much later in the third trimester. They need to plan the surgery lists around the medical needs of each mother. As yours is a request you will fit around the more high risk mothers.

Of course things could change in your pregnancy that put you higher up the list of need.

I had my c-sections agreed very early in both pregnancies due to extreme tokophobia- at the first hospital the consultant scheduled it in the diary when I was around 22 weeks, second time it was even earlier, around 16 weeks. Not usually done though. Then I moved hospitals to a different part of the UK during the second pregnancy and the new hospital wanted to wait until I was 36 weeks, but after seeing a different consultant it was agreed when I was around 22 weeks, with a date in the diary.

Not usual practice but it does happen and made a big difference to my mental health.

Don't say your request is for a frivolous reason such as a family birthday. The NHS doesn't exist for this. Pay to go private if you want.

I've no issue for the NHS (ie me, the taxpayer) paying for ELCS when there is a medical reason including tokophobia/ previous trauma etc.

But I don't see why the taxpayer should pay the hefty extra bill for a non medical reason.

No wonder there's no money for cancer treatment!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

It is unlikely to be agreed until 35/36 weeks, regardless of the situation.

For context, I had an emergency c-section with my first child and I'm 25 weeks pregnant with my second. If I choose elective over VBAC it still won't be officially "agreed" until 36 weeks, despite the fact every medical professional I have spoken to has told me I'd have no issues at all requesting an elective, due to the trauma from my emcs.

You're priorities sound mixed up OP. Surely the only factors relevant in deciding method of birth is your health and the baby's health? Your MIL birthday is not a reason to have major surgery.

It's too early. First is the anomaly scan. It's usual to wait until 36w to do birth preferences.

It’s totally up to the OP as to why she wants to have a c section - she can have one for literally any reason she chooses, she doesn’t have to justify it

But I agree with the others, at 19 weeks it’s too early to get you booked in so stop stressing about the date being booked now and discuss it with them around 32/34 weeks

They don't confirm c sections until quite late on - I think 36 weeks normally. I had one for mental health reasons and someone advocated for me to get it booked in earlier, but even then it was around 30 weeks I think, which felt late to me as I was so worried about not being allowed one.

It's not nice to think about, but realistically you don't even have a viable pregnancy at 19 weeks - there's no point in booking you in until you're further along. You might have to push a bit too get it sorted, but I think most Trusts now are fine with maternal request c sections.

Literally nobody firms up a birth plan at 19 weeks. I have a complex medical history, currently 8+5 and don’t expect to be having that conversation until at least 28+ weeks when my growth scans start. You need to manage your expectations.

I just read a previous poster with tokophobia and remembered mine was agreed at 22 weeks too, not 30 - I remember because it was a week after my 20 week scan (which was late).

This isn't something that would be discussed until much further on - about 32 weeks. You are expecting a bit much at the moment. Maternal request is a valid reason for a section, but dislike for your MIL is a batshit reason to have major abdominal surgery.