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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant after a hook-up which turned into a relationship

27 replies

Mari03 · 25/08/2022 11:44

I had a crush on an extremely cute and attractive guy at my college in early February this year, and I started flirting with him a lot, and we eventually ended up having sex on several occasions.
I found out that I had become pregnant near the end of that month, and I started talking to him about it, and he seemed hesitant at first, and I was preparing for the possibility that he would not want to be involved.
However, we started meeting and talking about this on a few occasions in early March, and we ended up dating and starting a relationship, and we have been together ever since then, and I am currently 6 months pregnant.
It feels wonderful so far, but I was a bit curious what you think I should keep in mind about this situation?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 25/08/2022 11:51

Don't lower your standards just because you're pregnant. If you see red flags or traits about him that don't make you happy, it's time to end it.

Original poster
Mari03 · 25/08/2022 11:56

Aquamarine1029 · 25/08/2022 11:51

Don't lower your standards just because you're pregnant. If you see red flags or traits about him that don't make you happy, it's time to end it.

I feel like he is serious;
he has shoved away girls who have tried to hit on him when we have been together, and we spend a lot of time together.
We also have lots of sex, and it is always steamy and passionate, so that feels like another great sign. 🤗

OP posts:
Figgygal · 25/08/2022 12:03

Youre still at college and possibly very young having a baby with someone outside of a committed relationship you probably already know what most people will think.

Original poster
Mari03 · 25/08/2022 12:05

Figgygal · 25/08/2022 12:03

Youre still at college and possibly very young having a baby with someone outside of a committed relationship you probably already know what most people will think.

Well, we have been together for about 5 months, and we have spent lots of time together and got to know each other very well, so it feels really good at the moment. 😊

We will meet this evening, and we will have dinner and watch movies together, and we have had evenings like that quite often.

OP posts:
MummaB22 · 25/08/2022 12:06

Not all men are red flags, and you shouldn't be constantly on edge looking for something that isn't there. I say enjoy the journey that's ahead. Me and my DP where going out for 4 months before we fell pregnant. Was planned right enough. But now we're 2 years in with a LO one and happier than ever! Good luck 💐

Willowthewispy · 25/08/2022 12:08

I would say don't borrow trouble or stress that's not there. Relax and enjoy the now. My situation was similar to yours.... we have been together over 23 years now.

Original poster
Mari03 · 25/08/2022 12:10

MummaB22 · 25/08/2022 12:06

Not all men are red flags, and you shouldn't be constantly on edge looking for something that isn't there. I say enjoy the journey that's ahead. Me and my DP where going out for 4 months before we fell pregnant. Was planned right enough. But now we're 2 years in with a LO one and happier than ever! Good luck 💐

Thanks a lot. 🤗
I feel that I can trust him, because he is just as eager to be with me as I I am to be with him, and he has embraced me and kissed me when other girls have seen it, and also confirmed to some of them that he and I will have a baby together.

We typically manage to be together maybe 4-5 days per week, and we usually spend time alone together during the weekends, and constantly find ourselves making out, fondling and having sex.
There is an intense spark between us, so it seems very great.

OP posts:
housepilot · 25/08/2022 12:16

It's obviously very intense. Going from casual to having a baby together and spending so much easy time alone. As well as cuddling and steamy sex, spend time with each other's friends in groups. You'll have a lot less time to do that in future, so it's nice to know who their mates are. And families- have you met, do you trust them, like them and spend time together?

Do basics like a food shop together, discuss how you manage money and plans for childcare. It's about to get a-lot harder, which doesn't mean it won't work, but you can be prepared.

Original poster
Mari03 · 25/08/2022 12:25

housepilot · 25/08/2022 12:16

It's obviously very intense. Going from casual to having a baby together and spending so much easy time alone. As well as cuddling and steamy sex, spend time with each other's friends in groups. You'll have a lot less time to do that in future, so it's nice to know who their mates are. And families- have you met, do you trust them, like them and spend time together?

Do basics like a food shop together, discuss how you manage money and plans for childcare. It's about to get a-lot harder, which doesn't mean it won't work, but you can be prepared.

Yes, we have met each other's families and friends, and they often congratulate us, and he seems to come from a very good family.

We have spent lots of time with each other in a lot of different ways, so we feel really really close.

OP posts:
differential · 25/08/2022 12:34

How old are you?

SeasonFinale · 25/08/2022 12:35

Happened to a friend of mine. DD is now 24 and they have been married 22 years and have a 21 year old DS too. If it's right it's right.

Original poster
Mari03 · 25/08/2022 12:36

differential · 25/08/2022 12:34

How old are you?

I will be 19 in a couple months, and he is currently 19 and will turn 20 in a few weeks.

OP posts:
Basilthymerosemary · 25/08/2022 12:36

What's the living situation like? Especially with a baby arriving.
They say you don't really know someone until you've lived with them.

Good luck and congratulations.

differential · 25/08/2022 12:39

Well as you're both very young my suggestion would be to stay around your families and take them up on any support they offer. I wouldn't move out together alone yet either.

Winnie87 · 25/08/2022 12:39

I got pregnant after 3 weeks of knowing each other. We decided to give things a go and see what happened. Yes it was intense and hard dating while pregnant, getting to know each other while you are hormonal and not always feeling great but we are married now and have had our second child. Sometimes things work out in the best way!
good luck!

Original poster
Mari03 · 25/08/2022 12:44

Basilthymerosemary · 25/08/2022 12:36

What's the living situation like? Especially with a baby arriving.
They say you don't really know someone until you've lived with them.

Good luck and congratulations.

He has an own student apartment by himself, and I live with my family, but I visit him a lot and stay the night with him very often.
And our families have said that they will help us as much as they can.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mari03 · 26/08/2022 01:17

Winnie87 · 25/08/2022 12:39

I got pregnant after 3 weeks of knowing each other. We decided to give things a go and see what happened. Yes it was intense and hard dating while pregnant, getting to know each other while you are hormonal and not always feeling great but we are married now and have had our second child. Sometimes things work out in the best way!
good luck!

Oh that is great, congrats to you too. 🤗

My boyfriend and I have spent enough time with each other so that it really feels like a serious and long-lasting relationship, so we have recently had occasional talks about having more babies in the future.
But we will of course focus on our first baby at the moment.

OP posts:
housepilot · 26/08/2022 03:36

All sounds very nice so far. It's great you both have such supportive families to help too. Work hard to keep them onside! You can be a great parent at 19, life is just going to be a bit different to navigate for you. You'll both probably have to be more sensible and ahead of your peers with adulting. Getting jobs and saving for rent/mortgage deposit, but that will bring its own rewards too. Have you a plan for education or employment? Can family help with childcare?

Original poster
Mari03 · 26/08/2022 03:42

housepilot · 26/08/2022 03:36

All sounds very nice so far. It's great you both have such supportive families to help too. Work hard to keep them onside! You can be a great parent at 19, life is just going to be a bit different to navigate for you. You'll both probably have to be more sensible and ahead of your peers with adulting. Getting jobs and saving for rent/mortgage deposit, but that will bring its own rewards too. Have you a plan for education or employment? Can family help with childcare?

I will study to become a nurse in the near future, and my boyfriend will study to become an engineer, so this is planned out as well. 🤗
And our parents have said that they can help us out if we need that.

OP posts:
daretodenim · 26/08/2022 04:14

Be aware - and let him be aware too - that having a baby is the No 1 way to reduce sex. Have as much as possible now!!

It sounds like you're both having a wonderful time. Congratulations.

Original poster
Mari03 · 26/08/2022 04:23

daretodenim · 26/08/2022 04:14

Be aware - and let him be aware too - that having a baby is the No 1 way to reduce sex. Have as much as possible now!!

It sounds like you're both having a wonderful time. Congratulations.

Thaanks.
Haha yeah, we have sex every time we see each other, and if we are out in public then we will make out a lot. 😅
We have also gone swimming together several times, and sat and kissed and fondled in bubble pools that we have reserved for each other. 😊
I am just a little bit more careful with the ways we have sex;
our first months together we would constantly squeeze each other tightly and tumble around in bed, but nowadays I am a bit careful to make those tight hug squeezes, since I feel like it might be harmful for our baby, so we currently mostly stick to him lying on his back with me on top, or me on the side in front of him.
But I also know that the baby is well protected, so we certainly hug while we make out and things like that.

OP posts:
Namechangedincaseshesonhere · 26/08/2022 04:37

Well I think you are moving way too fast.

But don’t listen to me, I moved in with (my now husband) after dating for less than 2 weeks, almost 20 years ago!

Congrats on your pregnancy!

CharlotteRose90 · 26/08/2022 04:39

Sorry I think it’s got way too serious too soon, the cynic in me thinks as soon as baby is here it won’t last long. Right now you’re in the honey moon stage and all over each other. That won’t happen with a new born around.

Original poster
Mari03 · 26/08/2022 17:17

CharlotteRose90 · 26/08/2022 04:39

Sorry I think it’s got way too serious too soon, the cynic in me thinks as soon as baby is here it won’t last long. Right now you’re in the honey moon stage and all over each other. That won’t happen with a new born around.

I can see that it has happened very quickly, but we have spent so much time with each other that we have learned to know each other a lot by now.
I will meet him in a couple hours, and spend the weekend with him. 😊

OP posts:
QueSyrahSyrah · 26/08/2022 17:25

They were a good bit older than you but this happened to my Friend; their 'baby' just got his GCSE results, they have another DC and they are very happily still together, so it can work out well.

Prepare for harder times once the baby is here though - if I were you I would start talking about that now. Where will you live? How will you manage money? How will you manage childcare? What are your plans for the future; next year, 5 years, 10 years? How will you handle the days when one of you is at their wits end, or frustrated with the other?

Don't wait until you're both tired and stressed with a newborn to have those conversations. Have them now.

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