Major anxiety regarding giving birth

[Nellynoo182]

FTM over here!

I have major anxiety over giving birth. I hate hospitals, blood, injections, anything to do with anything medical. I faint and have had seizures I get myself so worked up. I’ve had hypnotherapy to help me with injections and dealing with general anxiety regarding this (for example I panic in cars in case I am in a car accident and have to go to hospital and have something surgery or something! Ridiculous I know). This helped a bit.

So far in my pregnancy I have managed to have all my blood tests (although they were awful) and this was a huge achievement for me.

Now I am 26 weeks and I am trying to educate myself about labour and the possible things that might happen but I am also freaking out! It is ruining pregnancy for me at times 😔

I would really appreciate positive stories about labour if people are prepared to share? Including all the things that might happen so I have something to hold onto if I need an emergency C-Section, episiotomy etc.

Does anyone have any practical advice for things that helped too? Like do perineum massages actually help with tearing.. is a hypnobirthing course worth it? Etc!

Thank you 🙏🏻

100% do the hypnobirthing course, I did positive birth company one which was good!
I had a lovely birth, only small tears, 8 pound 4.

If you struggle with hospitals and being in a medical environment, have you considered a home birth or midwife led unit? I chose to give birth at an MLU as I couldn’t stand the thought of giving birth at hospital and although it was obviously more of a medical environment than a home birth, it felt much calmer and I was able to labour comfortably.

I found hypnobirthing really helpful, particularly breathing exercises and meditations. I used the positive birth company course, which you can buy as a digital pack with videos that talk you through the process of giving birth and how to have a calmer labour and birth experience.

Before labour, I was terrified of the prospect of having to possibly have an episiotomy. Lo and behold, I needed one, but it was absolutely fine! Local anaesthetic used so didn’t feel anything at all. Once I was in labour I went into ‘the zone’, which I do believe hypnobirthing helped with, and this let me remain calm when going through things like episiotomy, baby’s heart rate dropping etc.

Yes go for a MLU if you can- they have great birth outcomes for both mum and baby. I had two children in two different ones and both births natural and no major dramas. Second was a water birth with no pain relief apart from a wee bit of gas and air.

If you've found hypnosis helpful before hypno birthing is worth a go.
What helps me is;
Grounding, tens machine, active labour (spending most of the time standing/walking/bouncing so gravity helps)
Gas and air.

With best wishes for your birth

Thank you for your replies so far, I will definitely give hypnobirthing a go I think as I’m sure it won’t do any harm.

I haven’t discussed a MLU with my midwife before, so maybe something for me to bring up with her next week. Thank you!

I am really frightened of tearing or needing an episiotomy, more so than the idea of contractions!

@NewtoHolland Thank you for your recommendations! Would you mind explaining grounding please I’ve not heard of that before? Xx

I found that hypnotherapy for me, not a general birthing hypnotherapy was useful. Sounds as though you're used to hypnotherapy already, so could you find a practitioner who is able to work with you, and maybe your partner, to do two things:

1. Reduce your anxiety around birth

2. help you self-hypnotise to accept that you can't control everything during labour and that is okay

My mum used hypnotherapy this way. I found labour to be scary, not because of what happened but, because I felt out of control. It's that acceptance of not needing to be in control constantly and being able to go with the flow of what happens that will help.

@Nellynoo182 I don't have a fear of these things but I have been a fainter all my life with things like injections so I was wondering how I'd handle pregnancy and labour. I was absolutely fine and to be honest on the gas and air and with the pain you are just too preoccupied to over think and start feeling faint, I found. I didn't feel faint once and had an episiotomy, blood transfusions, a number of blood tests in the days following due to a postpartum haemorrhage. It's honestly fine and when baby arrives you're even more distracted and tired so didn't even think about. Try not to worry as you can't control what will happen and you know you'll be fine at the other end anyway!

This was me before I had mine, so much so I put it off for years. I was due to have a water birth in the MLU until a week before when they decided I needed to be induced (a massive panic and lots of tears from me followed!)

In reality it was fine, I was laughing as we walked around after they broke my waters, I didn’t need pain relief and it was nothing like I’d built it up to be in my head. Even when they said I’d need an episiotomy as they were struggling to monitor lo during the final stages I just responded with ‘do whatever you need to do’ and honestly meant it. It didn’t hurt at all. You just go into a weird zone. The stitches afterwards were fine as I was cuddling my baby (even though they did them wrong the first time so had to redo and had several people looking at me - again thought I’d be horrified but really didn’t care). I do recommend hypno birthing but also keep an open mind and although you might have an ‘ideal’ plan I actually don’t know anyone who’s birth plan has actually happened so be prepared to go with the flow.

Another advocate for hypnobirthing here! I did the Positive Birth Company course with my husband and it was really great :)

Re the perineal massage, it can't hurt but it's definitely not a guarantee. I did it religiously and still had a third degree tear. I think some women's skin is naturally more stretchy than others. Plus, my son came out at a weird angle which no one could have predicted.

My entire labour was 35 hours and 32 of those I was able to spend at home. I arrived at the hospital 10cm dilated which surprised the midwives. I really enjoyed the whole experience and immediately afterwards was happily saying 'That was fine, I'd do it again!'

I gave birth at a midwife led unit which was such a positive experience. I am a first time mum, I did some free sessions with some midwives on Instagram (thegreenmidwife and mindfulmidwifelisa). I also did a couple of ones that I paid for on induction and pain relief and the naked doula hypnobirthing course. I felt so much more informed going into Labour and confident with my birth choices.

Went into Labour at 39+6, waters went at home and then contractions started. Active Labour lasted for about 6 hours. Baby was born with no tears or grazes for me and she was healthy. Midwives were absolutely incredible. The placenta did not come away which meant I did need theatre but I felt so well looked after and they were amazing with my baby and partner too. I was kept in hospital for 36 hours before we were discharged home.

Sorry just to add I didn't do any of the perineal massages or anything. Had gas and air and then half a shot of pethidine at the end but that didn't do much for me! I spent some time in the pool which helped contractions but then I needed to be out and mobile as that's how I managed the pain. I did not want an epidural as know there are links between epidural and having to have an instrumental delivery and I wanted to avoid that if I could.

Would an elective section help your anxiety or would that be worse? I had a similar thing to you, for my whole life I just didn’t see how I could ever have a baby because I physically didn’t think I could give birth, I was scared beyond belief and I would waste so many hours thinking about it. Long story short, I got pregnant, got straight onto them about my severe anxiety , spoke to the consultant and had my elective section booked for 39 weeks. I am the biggest wimp on earth but all it involved was a cannula in my hand, which was the worst part of the whole thing and even then it was just a nip. Then the spinal in my back I wasn’t aware of at all as they put local anaesthetic in the area first so I didn’t feel it at all. My baby was out within a minute of the operation starting, it was completely pain free and recovery was fine too. I’m so proud of myself for doing it and will even do it again if I get the chance ☺️

Get an epidural.

Are you OK?

Ah, I see.

@Itsonlyabiscuit yep fine thanks why wouldn't I be?

@Itsonlyabiscuit op has the issue that she hasn't dealt with not me. If she can't handle someone telling her she's ridiculous she probably shouldn't post on a public forum.

I was scared about giving birth too 🙋🏼‍♀️
Honestly don't worry, I know it's cliche but you do forget about all your pre birthing worries once they're in your arms ☺️ promise! I had 2nd degree tearing internally and externally and it was the pain I had when peeing afterwards which hurt more than the birth as far as I can remember... gas and air was my best friend that day 😂

I would literally do it all over again tomorrow if I could to experience it again.

Good luck OP you'll be absolutely fine xxx

When I was in my third trimester I became terrified of birth. I kept thinking something would happen to me or my baby.
I did the positive birth company course and when I was in labour the science side of it really helped me. I could picture my baby’s head pushing down and bobbing up and I breathed my baby out. It was actually an amazing experience for me and I gave birth just with gas and air (although I did ask for an epidural but I was too late haha)

your body knows what to do and is designed to birth your baby. Do the pbc course and join their Facebook page and read all of the positive birth stories on there. It might not feel like it’s helping but it will during Labour.

Hi @Nellynoo182 here's one resource about grounding, it's techniques to make you feel safe in the present moment, the ones I use most are breathing techniques and thinking about my feet, feeling the weight of them pressing into the floor, being aware of any surface they are touching, drawing my attention to them. Those kind of things help me on labour but also grounding helps anytime in feeling anxious. livingwell.org.au/well-being/mental-health/grounding-exercises/

Hey OP, I think you need to get support for your anxiety. Having little ones means your life is full of injections/doctor visits. It doesn’t just end at the north.

you need to talk it through with your midwife, labour is full of needles, blood etc, it’s not pleasant but then you get a baby!!