Is 36 too old to start having kids

[Yezi]

I’m 34 and my partner is 27 I feel a lot of pressure on my shoulders to start having kids. I want to start by the time I’m 35 as I met my partner later in life. I feel like my family think I’m too old. Am I too old this is really getting me down as I really want kids

Not too old, I had mine at 37 and 38.

I'm 36 and have just had a baby. Definitely not too old.

@Kerrielouise84 do you honestly not understand the difference between averages and individual risk factors?

Christ alive

That table was the average for your age for your age group.

Well I was infertile by age 35 having lost both tubes to ectopics and multiple miscarriages.....I wish I had started much earlier than I did

When it comes to this topic. MN mums will say the same thing about 40.

To be honest I wouldn't go as far as saying it's "too old" but it's definitely in the camp of make sure you have a solid plan and hurry!

Does your partner want kids and when? How many would you like?

I mean you would really need to have more than 1 DC close together if you wanted more than 1 of course.

I view 36 as different to my own experience because I had my Son at 23!

Definitely not too old! I had mine at 36 and that was normal near where i'm from. I would start trying soon though as it might take you longer than you think. It did take me a few years to get there, which I hadn't expected.

Yes I do understand thankyou but that result on that table would be classed as a high risk result for nhs screening, anything under 1 in 150 is classed as a high risk result so your saying everyone in "my age group" gets a high risk result back! Christ Alive!!

Your family are going to have opinions on everything including how you raise your child. So becoming more resilient to that is a must.

You also kind of need to get going, fertility drops. I had my first at 34 and want another now at 40 but it's not happening, why? Could be my fertility couldn't it, which kind of sucks.

A really good thing to do would be to discuss, if you haven't already, with your partner things like parenting styles, discipline, diet, health choices etc. etc. because these are the things that come up a lot after you've had kids, and a fundamental disagreement on things like safety or philosophy can ruin a marriage and make raising children really difficult, insteaed of what it should be; enjoyable.

If you're on the same page and want the same things then go for it. Once you have a child you're faced with opinions from everyone on how you should feed, raise, discipline, and it is so tiresome if you let it get to you.

@Kerrielouise84

No, it doesn't mean everyone in your age group would be counted as high risk

It's clear you simply don't understand how averages work. That's a shame

I was 40 when I gave birth to my DS xx go for it!

I have two older sisters who started their families at 30 but found partners earlier on in life then I did they constantly tell me I should have settled in stead of living abroad like i did

Your sisters are rude and should keep their traps shut. They are living their lives, you are living yours. I'm sure you had lots of amazing life experiences living overseas.

Plenty of people I know had kids only after 36 or 37, and I just had a healthy baby very easily at 40.

I do recommend that you get cracking pretty much now, because everyone is different and some women your age will already be starting to experience fertility problems, just as there are others who conceive naturally at 45. To be on the safe side, start now. The stats show that if you do, you can most likely have one or two children naturally in the next few years.

The NIPT test (Harmony etc.) is a good idea for women over 35 IMO. I did it for my youngest. It was nice to have the peace of mind.

No, not too old. I had my first this year aged 31. With the way things are going (financially) part of me feels like we should have waited a few more years even.

The risks of Down’s syndrome or genetic problems increases each year….

That's the risk of conceiving a fetus with Down's syndrome. If you have access to the NIPT and have no ethical issue with abortion, your risk of actually having a baby with Downs or any other trisomy is basically zero unless you actively choose to carry on a trisomy pregnancy; the NIPT test is essentially 100% accurate and is perfomed early in the pregnancy, meaning you can end such a pregnancy in the first trimester.

It's actually the guy's age that worries me more with older parents, but the OP's partner is younger than her, so....

It would have been too old for me personally, but I wanted to be done by the time I was 30. If you're happy being an older mum then it's not too old.

In my friend group 35 seems to be about the average age for first pregnancy. We’re all living outside our birth country. My school friends who stayed in the UK mainly had kids around 28-30.
I’m pregnant now with first (35), as is my friend at 38. I don’t feel too old - I feel ready and mature enough to raise another human.

Yes, probably my body would be dealing better with pregnancy at 26 but I was using that resilience for other things and having a great time doing so. I did actually start trying at 27 but had infertility issues. My 38 yr old friend got pregnant her second month trying. So much is luck of the draw.

Get trying asap if your partner is on board, and start taking a high dose of CoQ10 daily as this helps with egg quality.

Of course it’s not too old.

Im the only one of my friendship group who had babies before I was 30. My best friends had first babies at 34, 35 and 36 respectively. Second babies at 38 & 39.

I’d say crack on, though.

Just had my first at 41 although we were TTC since around 37 before finally succeeding with IVF. Possibly would have tried earlier or just gone to IVF earlier in hindsight as we might be pushing it to have a sibling for her. Pandemic delays to IVF didn’t help either.

Pregnant with first child at first try at 39 and I met my lovely husband at 20! I refused to be rushed into it, though mil etc have been dropping not so subtle hints for the last 15 years.

I just wasn't going to make such a big decision on creating a life for anyone else.

When I had mine at 26 I thought I was old. Compared to others I guess. I can't imagine many 26 year olds having kids these days. I think people want stability and a career these days before kids?

No (a compete sentence 😂)

My risk factor was 767 at 36 and 650 at 39 for Downs Syndrome.
Thought I was home and dry but youngest has autism and there's no test for that. I would most certainly have had more energy to cope with her in my 20s but I'm sure I wouldn't have had the extreme level of patience needed for an SN child.

Not remotely too old. Normal where I live

Of course not. Don’t be daft.

But I’d your current partner up for it? If not I would move on.

Not too old at all!