Can I request no males are in the room when I give birth?

[gonewithtthewind]

I.e doctors ect.

I have a lot of trauma, especially around men and men who are medical professionals. I know it seems silly and won't make sense to a lot of people but it gives me an awful lot of anxiety.

The only male I'd want there is my partner. I know it probably won't be possible. But would it be silly to ask? Obviously if I really needed a male doctor etc to be there at birth I'd have to suck it up, I'm not saying I wouldn't I'd just be more comfortable not having them.

Please don't be mean/rude.

People do ask for example muslim women, victims of crime etc you are entitled to ask. It may not always be possible as it depends who is on call that day if a doctor is needed.

If you ask they will do their best to manage it, but it may not always be possible

Yes of course you can make your preferences known and staff will try to accommodate if possible. It may be that there are only male doctors etc on but if possible to have a female member of staff your wishes would be respected.

I think you can definitely ask, but generally the only reason a doctor will be present in the birthing room during labour is if something is going wrong and the midwives have called for assistance, so in that situation where time may be of the essence, I imagine it might not always be possible as there will only be X amount of doctors on shift/available. But hopefully at least one will be a woman!

You can ask.

I haven’t had any traumatic experiences and for any other treatment I’d be happy to be seen by a male doctor.

I was asked if I was happy for a male medical student to attend the birth and I declined. I was in the start of labour and just felt a strange man had no place being there. I was surprised quite how strongly I felt about it.

Even later when the male anaesthetist came in to administer intravenous pain relief I couldn’t wait for him to piss off and leave me with the lovely, supportive female midwives.

I have swapped colleagues around to provide an all female theatre team for elective surgery on a Muslim woman before now, but we didn’t have a female who specialised in that particular branch of surgery, so she had to cope with a male surgeon.
Most midwives are female anyway, OP, and ditto about 50% of anaesthetists, so it’s really just down to whether there’s a female obstetrician available on rota when you are in labour, should you need one.

Have you thought about an elective c section?

I had a lovely young male medical student deliver one of mine. Supported by a qualified female midwife. I know it's not everyone's choice, but I was happy to help along with his quest to qualify as a doctor, needing to deliver 10 babies 😀

Where are you giving birth OP? If it's at a midwide led center you will have more chances of this than in hospital, as most midwives are women. Some hospitals have this attached.

This request is in no way strange! I did not want men around me if I could help it either. I wrote this on my birth plan too. Didn't need to give an explanation and I was never challenged on it. They accommodate if they can.

If things go wrong then they will use whoever is there, and they might well be male.

How is this at all useful to someone who is triggered by male medical professionals?

I have and I think I'm still thinking about it. It's not something I want really but yeah I don't know x

It would be Wythenshawe I imagine. It has its own maternity unit which is separate to the hospital x

It might be worth contacting the charity Victim Focus. I know they are in the process of making materials for sharing with healthcare professionals to educate them about trauma and make it easier for a patient to ask for what they need. I would also make sure your partner knows how to advocate for you.

I felt the same as you re births. I was lucky to only need midwives and they were all female and absolutely wonderful. Birth is usually very different from an emergency situation whereby you might be glad of any practitioner. It is important for us to feel completely safe in order for labour to progress. We are mammals! In my experience, midwives understand this.

I think it will be a fine request unless it's an emergency. I had an all female team around me during my labour. Then there was an emergency and the only doctor available was a male.

Wow as a female anaesthetist that comes across as awfully rude/ungrateful to someone trying to relieve your pain! (Although I'm not sure what you're referring to as we don't give IV pain relief to anyone labouring in a room and only incredibly rarely in theatre).

Op - you can always ask and it will try to be accommodated, most obstetricians are female, nearly all midwives are, and anaesthetists have a slight female predominance now. They'll try to accommodate as much as possible but if its out of hours so after 6pm or nights or weekends, then there's often only 1 anaesthetist/obstetrician on for the ward so it may not be possible. You'll always have a chaperone for examinations and can decline if you don't want something done to you

You can definitely ask op and it's completely understandable that you feel like this if you've had previous trauma.As others have said though this may not be possible. I ended up with an emergency section with dc3 and there were at least 3 males in the theatre. This isn't to try and worry you but just so you're aware.

An elective c section to avoid men? Don't think that'll help. I had 3, and at one point 4, men in the room for my section. More men than I saw the whole time I was in labour suite. I think the whole time I've been in hospital for 1 labour then emergency section, 1 planned section and 1 complicated pregnancy, I've seen male porters, 1 male nurse, 0 male midwives, 1 male student dr and all the others were consultants/surgeons/anaesthetists.

(I have also seen female consultants and surgeons)

Yes. And it's not silly at all. You're so vulnerable anyway.
I have no previous issues with men but when a peadiatrician came in just before baby was born I shouted at him! Wouldnt in normal circumstances but there I am pushing and a random man wondered in! He stood in the corner with his back to me until baby was born! Very weird.

You can definitely ask, however in my trust all the consultants are male and 85% of anaesthetists are male so I would make yourself as prepared as you can be if anything were needed.

Because this person may have no choice but to have a male medical professional in the room. And if that is the case then that male medical professional.is highly likely to behave a in a medical professional way.
That's why

I'm so sorry, I totally feel your pain and yes, you can definitely ask, it just may not be possible if the midwives need support and only male doctors are available. If its any help a male doctor treated me after labour but the midwive held my hand throughout and was so, so lovely and my husband/new baby were there too!
I also got seen by two other male doctors in the weeks after the birth and they were so, so gentle asking me numerous times was I okay and to tell them if I wasn't.
So you may have a lovely doctor (albeit male) and it might actually help you heal, that's been my experience anyway, I felt really, really taken care of and safe, good luck :-)

I think it’s a very reasonable request and I would hope you would be listened to and respected but I’m sure they will warn you that if you need further medical intervention it will be whomever is available. If needed you probably won’t mind as much. Alternative could be to go private I suppose?

You can decline whatever care you want but there may not be a female doctor. But you would still have a choice between a male doctor and no doctor. I mean I wouldn’t recommend that but it’s up to you. Hopefully you won’t need a doctor

I wouldn't recommend an elective c section to avoid a male doctor, you don't get a lot of choice over the date and whatever doctors are on rota that day will deliver the baby and there is likely to be a male. Your best chance of an all female team is to go midwife led and hope for no interventions and not ask for an epidural. Most midwives are female and you can refuse a male one. Once you get doctors and anesthetists involved you're far more likely to encounter a male practitioner and there will be less option for you to refuse

I’m very sorry this is something you’re having to consider OP.

It may be worth mentioning to your midwife. I am a survivor of something like this too, and when I mentioned my anxiety around birth, the midwife did her best to help me. She has added to my notes that I would prefer a female doctor. She also said it’s sadly quite a common situation, so they won’t be shocked or surprised by you talking about your concerns.