Can I request no males are in the room when I give birth?

[gonewithtthewind]

I.e doctors ect.

I have a lot of trauma, especially around men and men who are medical professionals. I know it seems silly and won't make sense to a lot of people but it gives me an awful lot of anxiety.

The only male I'd want there is my partner. I know it probably won't be possible. But would it be silly to ask? Obviously if I really needed a male doctor etc to be there at birth I'd have to suck it up, I'm not saying I wouldn't I'd just be more comfortable not having them.

Please don't be mean/rude.

It's whether the OP would feel happier having an elective section with male consultants than if she were to have a vaginal birth. I know I would tbh.

I've had two elective sections- and there would have been men in the theatre- but it was actually female consultants who delivered both of my babies. I'd have been happy to have male consultants do the c sections but wouldn't want a male midwife for a vaginal birth.

Agree with you - charming! I would never even in my head wish for someone trying to help me to 'piss off'. I would prefer female staff down the 'business end' but in an emergency I'd happily accept an elephant. Of course, women who have suffered abuse or trauma are another matter and their feelings are valid, but the 'piss off' comment is unnecessary.
Thank you Destiny123 for your hard work! I always admire anaesthetists, such a complicated yet vital job!

I asked for, and had all female staff until they lost ds' heartbeat.

At that point, the entire regiment could have been in the room (army hospital) for all I cared, as long as they got DS out pink and squalling. 😯

Express your preferences but bear in mind, circumstances change.

Congratulations and good luck x

Of course you can.

I didn't have any male professional in there (not by choice) when I was giving birth to DS until a male doctor outside noticed my obs and wasn't happy with DS's obs. He asked before he could come in and politely asked if he could turn DS as he was the only one that noticed DS was back to back.

I accepted and it's good that you're in the mindset and open to it if you need that extra assistance but if you ask I'm sure they will oblige.

@gonewithtthewind It might be useful to think through potential situations in which a (potentially) male medical member of staff may be needed, and what might helpful for you, so you can outline your wishes as fully as possible before the birth. For example, if you required an assisted delivery and only a male was available, would it be less traumatic for you to move straight to a c-section rather than forceps for example. You can also consider things that might be helpful - for example you could request that they introduce themselves, that they very clearly ask for your consent before doing anything (and minimise as much as possible any touch for instance). Anything you think might be helpful for them to do or any particular triggers they should be made aware to avoid x

I had remifentanyl intravenously for both my labours. I know it’s not available at all hospitals but it bloody should be. It was the best bit of pain relief I received and it spared me progressing to an epidural which I didn’t want.

This.

Is This your first baby OP? Even the midwife doesn't stay in the delivery suite with you for hours they come in and out.. I think you will be fine. I wouldn't choose a C section that's major surgery... even more bodies in the room.

There are usually even more people in the room during a C-section than a vaginal delivery, so that just increases the chances of a male medical professional being there.

It was remifentanil, which might not be provided at your hospital, but was at mine.

And I don’t really care if it gives you a “wow.”. I was perfectly pleasant to him while he was helping me, and I was very grateful. But I won’t pretend I didn’t prefer an all female environment while in labour, and I absolutely was counting down the time until it was ok for him to leave.

I asked for all women at my section and was told that the lead consultant anaesthesiologist wanted to attend , who was male. I reluctantly agreed and he lasted all of 10 minutes in the room before I told my obstetrician that either he left or I did. In the end the reg anaesthesiologist did the job and she was a lovely lovely lady. I found the male consultant very aggressive and had no respect for the fact that I was nervous 😬 it seemed almost an inconvenience to him.

You can ask but it will depend on how your birth goes.

Relatively easy to facilitate if all you need is a midwife but if you need more intervention (forceps, etc) or a c section then it simply may not be possible.

Definitely talk to your midwife so that you have all the information about what to expect in what circumstances.

It may be more possible than you think. I had an EMCS with an all female team, with the exception of the surgeon. Didn't ask for that, it's just the way it happened. Even then there was a female surgeon on duty I could have asked for but was happy with the consultant I'd been seeing all the way through. Worth talking to MW and putting something in your birth plan.

Great! If you're in the midwife unit and everything goes well there is a good chance. Also it might help to prepare for what would happen, for example, prep your birth partner in how you want them to be looking after you.

You can definitely decline instrumentals. Wouldn't know of any doctor that would do a procedure without a) identifying themselves by name and job title and b) not do anything without explaining what they would do, why they need to do it, and the alternatives / risks of not doing it

It's used in tons of hospitals, I just don't associate it with the term "giving" IV medication, as it's not something we personally give (ie inject into a patient by hand), more a device we connect for a patient to use.

I've been sworn at fairly often by ladies not wanting to listen to the risks of epidurals and regularly been told to "just f* do it" but as a speciality who's main aim is to provide pain relief and safety it's disheartening to hear people think like that (most have apologised for swearing/being rude as soon as I've made them totally pain free and smiling but would be nice for some gratitude

l would have lost my life without the male Dr in the room.

I loved both my anaesthetists. Even the one I kept asking if he was a friends partner - I am very shortsighted and hadn’t got my glasses on in Labour. One male, one female, both took my fear away with the lovely drugs

When I was in hospital for an ectopic last year I was apologising to the nursing assistant for my hairy legs as she was fighting to get on my compression socks for surgery and she said, “Don’t you worry love, sure that’s the thing about this ward- we’re all ladies together!” and it was exactly what I needed to hear at a really tough time. I don't have your history and had some very positive experiences with male staff members during that stay (I'm thinking particularly about the porter who held my shoulder in the lift and told me it would be ok when I was bawling as he wheeled me to surgery), but being surrounded for the most part by women gave me a level of comfort I never thought I'd feel.

So basically, ask. Worst thing that can happen is that you might need to concede if staffing levels can’t accommodate it, which you’re being realistic about. You'll get no judgement from me, and if someone does think it’s odd…so what? You’ll still give birth whether they do or not!

@FirstFallopians

i have experience of Wythenshawe hospital, there are a good balance of female obstetricians and anaesthetists. Obviously it comes down to who is on shift but being a large unit the odds are good that a female would be available.

Funnily I was thinking the same thing when i read that. There was only one female member of staff in the room when I had my first csection.