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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Gender disappointment

44 replies

Rtikg · 15/07/2022 19:35

Having a boy, always wanted a girl. I probably won’t have another so I’m having to adjust to this. I thought I would be ok with whichever but I’m not at all. I don’t feel connected to the baby and split with DP months ago and now thinking I will have a mini him!!

I know I should be grateful and happy. I can’t confide in fiends, too embarrassed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rtikg · 15/07/2022 19:35

*friends

OP posts:
freesoul12 · 15/07/2022 19:41

congratulations on your pregnancy first of all . You will get over this , trust me . The moment midwife will let you hold your little one , you will be over the moon

Original poster
Rtikg · 15/07/2022 19:45

@freesoul12 i can’t imagine it, I honestly feel nothing!! I try to talk to them but I’m quite happy they are not actually here. Is that normal?

OP posts:
Sexismdoesntrule · 15/07/2022 19:46

Its probably just that you don’t want a ‘mini him’ rather than you don’t want a boy.

You will raise this child so it will have your mannerisms etc.. it’s won’t just be a ‘mini him’

sunshineandshowers40 · 15/07/2022 19:49

Honestly try not to be too hard on yourself. I have boys and they are great. I always imagined having girls as I have sisters. I have a different relationship with each of my sons and love spending time with them, they always make me laugh!

DangerNoodles · 15/07/2022 19:50

These threads are always about boys. I don't get it.

freesoul12 · 15/07/2022 19:51

when i was pregnant second time , i wanted boy but i found out at 16 weeks i am having a daughter , i remember coming back home , it was like someone punched my stomach or something. I did not tell anyone about this , i couldn't trust anyone including my parents to express my disappointment. I felt guilty, its not baby s fault. I cried for few days , then after few days your mind accepts it , it is what it is and then you carry on. hope you get this strength to keep going

ohthejoysoftoddler · 15/07/2022 19:54

I felt a little bit disappointed when I found out with my first I was having a boy. Maybe not disappointed, but a bit unsure what I'd do with them! Which is obviously silly. Oh man, my little boy is my world, I'm he's the cutest cheekiest thing and I can't imagine not having a boy. I love hanging out with him.

I have since had a girl, and obviously adore her, but the bond between us is no stronger. I actually didn't find out the sex with this one, and I was a bit gutted when they handed me a girl!

freesoul12 · 15/07/2022 19:57

Also both of my daughters are my world , i feel silly that how could i even think like that

GCHeretic · 15/07/2022 19:58

DangerNoodles · 15/07/2022 19:50

These threads are always about boys. I don't get it.

It’s the logical extension of some of the appalling attitudes to men shown on the site in general. It’s very sad.

QuitMoaning · 15/07/2022 20:04

I am the opposite, when someone says they are having a girl, I cannot understand why they are not disappointed. I didn’t find out until the birth and was delighted to get a boy.
He is an awesome young adult now and I brought him up alone when ex walked out just after the birth.
I wouldn’t change a thing.

supersop60 · 15/07/2022 20:08

When he's here you will feel differently. Whatever your misgivings about boys are, he will be YOUR little boy and you can bring him up your way. I always imagined I'd have two girls, so I wasn't sure about having a boy, but DS brought a balance to our family, and he's a wonderful person.

Readyourownbookmoira · 15/07/2022 20:11

I have three boys. It’s so so lovely. I was disappointed not to have a girl… hence three. But now they are older I can’t believe I ever wanted a girl.

Bodice · 15/07/2022 20:11

For what it’s worth my boys look like me and my daughter looks like her father. You aren’t definitely going to get a “mini him”

SkyeBlue28 · 15/07/2022 20:17

I think you just need to allow yourself to feel disappointed for a while and when you are ready you will probably feel so excited to meet your little boy. He will have his own unique personality and there will be no one else in the world like him.

I am guessing that the thought of him being like your ex is putting you off which is understandable.

I found it hard to bond with my first child, even after she was born but a couple of months in she was, and still is, my whole world. The love at first sight when a baby is born didn’t happen for me but we are so close now.

Shmithecat2 · 15/07/2022 20:20

I never had a preference so can't empathise with you on your disappointment, but I have a ds and he's brilliant, an absolute joy. You'll get there.

Londonderry34 · 15/07/2022 20:27

Nature is beautiful. You are so lucky to be pregnant and you will love the bones of your baby. You know your son may have a daughter or a grand daughter one day. Lucky you.......it's all ahead.

Orphlids · 15/07/2022 20:42

When I found out my first baby was a girl, I cried with joy and relief. I just couldn’t imagine loving a boy.

My second baby was a boy. Of course, I don’t have a favourite child, but oh my goodness, he is absolutely my favourite! He is so gentle, kind, innocent and cute. He doesn’t have a bad bone in his body.

Congratulations on your baby. I think what you’re feeling isn’t that unusual, and I’d be very surprised if you continued feeling so detached after baby arrives. I hope it all works out for you. I bet your little son will be a wonderful addition to your life.

Moonface123 · 15/07/2022 20:58

Your son will bring you joy you' ve never known, there's a reason so many daughter in laws are very jealous of the relationship mother and son share.

Ugzbugz · 15/07/2022 21:07

DangerNoodles · 15/07/2022 19:50

These threads are always about boys. I don't get it.

Every single time.

I'm not with my DS dad and he has does have traits of him but he's absolutely perfect to me and loved very much by both of us although his dad is usless 🙄

HazyDays81 · 15/07/2022 21:14

I have 3 boys and it’s great! Seeing the brotherly bond between them all is lovely. I’m now pregnant with my 4th and not sure if we’ll find out the sex. Part of me has always wanted a girl but now with 3 boys I can’t imagine it so I would be honestly be happy with either. Don’t be hard on yourself, try and work through your feelings and I’m sure like others have said you will be overjoyed when your baby is here.

Mydogatemypurse · 15/07/2022 21:17

I had this when i found out it was a boy (not planned and very surprising as sex once a year if that) i cried my heart out. I invisaged living with another hate filled male who wouldnt respect me. I immediately sought therapy. It was amazing and by the time my wonderful beautiful innocent boy was born i was and still am head over heels in love. Hes amazing and womderful and just him. Not his dad and ive never ever regretted the beautiful gift and blessing he is. Please seek support. Your son needs and loves you and only has you. I did it so im not judging but dont taint his innocent brand new soul with what you know of other males. You can guide him, love him support him and educate him to be the best he can be and he will love you unconditionally for that. Xx

HailAdrian · 15/07/2022 21:19

Quelle surprise! It's about a little boy, as always. Why get pregnant if you don't want a boy, you know it's kind of a 50/50 situation...

Daydreamsinsantafe · 15/07/2022 21:24

@DangerNoodles I have equal amounts of both and find them all equally joyful but the anti boy thing is really really bad. It blows my mind. I genuinely think it amounts to how they can & can’t be dressed.
My boys are dressed as well as my girls which seems to surprise people but honestly I think that’s the crux of it for many women. It’s shocking.

OP you’ll remember you felt like this one day and your toes will curl. Your son will light to your life. Don’t worry.

freesoul12 · 15/07/2022 21:27

HailAdrian · 15/07/2022 21:19

Quelle surprise! It's about a little boy, as always. Why get pregnant if you don't want a boy, you know it's kind of a 50/50 situation...

thats not very helpful

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